So, when I was 19, this bloke called James, who Id been seeing for about a year, asked me to marry him. Ill be honest, I knew it was quite soon, and I worried a bit that I wouldnt be able to go out and have a laugh with the girls or enjoy myself as much. But James really seemed like a good, solid sort, you know? I was scared I wouldnt find anyone better, so I said yes and became his wife.
After we tied the knot, we moved in with his parents. Mine have a big detached house just outside Manchester, and we were given the entire second floor to ourselves. To be fair, James parents were quite comfortable financially, and when we got married James was earning a decent wage too, which meant I could concentrate on my course at university without worrying.
Two years down the line, I had my first little onea girl. James was over the moon, honestly. But then things went pear-shaped in a way we really didnt see coming. He lost his job. His parents offered him something at the family business, but hes always been a very independent type and wanted to make his own way. Then a mate suggested he go abroad for work, so James agreed.
We made a pact that hed be away for just one year. Just to get a bit of cash in, set us up, maybe get us a few nice things. But as soon as he started earning proper money, he came back after that year and told me he was off againthis time for two more years. Said he wanted to save up so we could get our own flat in the city centre, not rely on family. Fair play to him, really. But what about me and our daughter? He promised to come back to visit a couple of times a year, and he actually did. But, you know, his year abroad ended up being five years. By then, I was absolutely desperate for some affectionjust someone to actually be with.
Then, out of the blue, this man a few years older than me messaged me on Facebook. He was full of compliments, telling me I was gorgeous and irresistiblethings James hadnt said to me for ages. We kept chatting for about a month, then we finally met up. Well, things escalated, and I ended up cheating on James. Im not proud of it, but I felt so happy that I met up with him a couple more times after that.
Well, as fate would have it, two months later James showed up for good. Came home, said all the right things, and even bought me a lovely flat. The guilt was crushing. I couldnt take itI admitted to him that Id been unfaithful. Not just once, either. So, what happened? James packed my things and told me to leave. I considered running to the other bloke, but he quickly came up with all sorts of excuseswork, commitments, you name it. Made it clear I was just a bit of fun for him. Complete waste of hope.
So now, James has filed for divorce. Our daughter is staying with me at my mums for the time being, but James is threatening to fight for full custody. Honestly, Im so ashamed. I just keep thinkingwhy couldnt I hang on? How could I do that to him? It really eats me up.
