For eight years, Ive been married to my husband, thinking he was an ordinary man, but during our divorce, all his true colours came out. Now, I feel thoroughly disgusted that I spent so many years with him, but Im relieved its finally over.
We dated for a year before getting married, so together weve spent nine years as a couple. Of course, over that time, our family lived through all sorts of things. We argued and made up, shared happy and difficult moments. I thought our life was just normal, that most couples lived like this. My own parents have had their ups and downs too, but after fifty years together, theyre still married and seem fine.
We also have a child a son, now six years old. He was five when we separated. My husband never really looked after our son. He insisted he was still too young, always saying hed spend time with him once the boy grew up a bit.
He barely helped around the house, either. He might have washed up now and then or taken the bins out, but nothing more. His mother raised him to believe housework was only for women; that a man should never do such things.
My mother-in-law is a story in herself. Thankfully, she lives in another city and only visits three times a year. Even then, its far too often for my liking. Whenever she came, everything would revolve around my husbands way of running things, and the household would descend into chaos. Even if we managed to keep things calm, shed arrive with her old-fashioned ways and suddenly arguments would erupt again.
What really got under my skin were her remarks about who was the provider and the homemaker. The irony is, I was the main breadwinner. My salary was much higher than my husbands, so it was never clear who was expected to maintain the home or who was supposed to go out and hunt the mammoth, so to speak.
In the past year, my husband did nothing for work. Once the pandemic hit, his company barely survived. I thought wed made it through the worst, but then the business completely folded, and everyone was let go. He started looking for a new job, but there were always complaints: not enough pay, too far to travel, not enough experience, the company seemed suspicious. He bounced between job listings while I managed the family, essentially working two shifts first at my job, rushing to pick up our son from nursery, then racing home to start all the household work again. My husband always said he was too busy job-hunting to help.
But somehow, he never found any work he thought suitable. Nor did he lift a finger at home. Of course, I wasnt happy with any of this. I started snapping at him, arguing, slamming doors, even spending some nights at a friends house just to get away. I gave him a final chance, but he didnt take it.
Eventually, Id had enough. I packed his bags and told him to leave my flat which Id inherited from my parents before we ever married and filed for divorce. He tried a few times to reconcile, but by then, I was so tired I didnt believe a word he said.
We divorced, but my ex-husband still wont leave it alone, bad-mouthing me constantly, usually with his mothers help. Theyve spread all sorts of stories about me to his relatives, but honestly, I couldnt care less about any of them. Whats more troubling is him calling my parents with nasty tales and lies. They’re my age and dont need that kind of stress.
To make matters worse, one day when I was out, he came round and let himself in with his key, taking my laptop, coat, microwave and even some gold jewellery. Of course, there are no receipts, so going to the police would have been pointless. I shouldve changed the locks straight away, but I honestly never imagined hed stoop so low.
The biggest shock came in court, during the child support hearing, when he suddenly insisted on a DNA test, claiming he didnt think he was my sons father. I refused and told the court, fine, hes not the father which completely stunned both him and his mother. It might have been a bluff, but seeing the looks on their faces was worth every moment.
In the end, he was removed from my sons birth certificate, and I was finally free. Ive heard stories about men like him making life a misery for mothers, always threatening or interfering, but instead, everything landed in my favour. In his own way, he handed me the perfect escape.
Of course, his family know full well that my son is the spitting image of him, but as far as Im concerned, I want nothing more to do with them. Legally, theyre strangers now, so I can keep them away. This whole saga has shown me I dont want their support or child maintenance. Im much better off without any of them in our lives.
