There was a fellow who worked at our firm. His name was Oliver. He headed up one of the departments in our office, and its not as though he was badly paidthats simply how things were. He drove a stylish car, always wore outfits from high street shops, and was impeccably groomed. Yet, he had one glaring flaw: he scrimped on absolutely everything. Especially food.
Whenever we had a break, he would stroll ever so slowly past any desks or tables scattered with snacks, then casually plop himself down as if by accident, and tuck innever waiting for an invitation. As soon as he spotted food, hed launch into one of his familiar lines:
Oh! It smells delightful in here! or Blimey, youve got chicken wings, let me have a try! And, of course, his classic, What have we got here, then? Before you knew it, his hand was reaching for your lunch.
He was never one to chip in for birthday gifts for his colleagues, but youd always find him front and centre for the cake and a good toast, acting as if it was only natural. People noticed he always charged his mobile at work to save electricity at home, and he would refuse to leave the office until every personal need was settled, simply to avoid using water from his own tap. To put it plainly, Oliver was tight-fisted. He called it being practical with money.
At our last office party, Oliver had one too many drinks. One of the lads asked if he was planning on getting married, and Oliver, slurring slightly, replied:
Why on earth would I want a wife? Shed just drain my wallet, always wanting money for shopping and meals. If we had a child, Id be finished. No, thanksdont need that sort of expense. I get on just fine on my own.
His mate said, Right, you do seem to be doing well, Oliverbut if were honest, its by living off us.
That hit a nerve. With a flushed face, Oliver shot back, Its true enough, but at least I do things cleverly. Ive got a nice car, a well-kept home. What have you got to show? Youre daft enough to blow all your money on food!
Not long after that, the whole department had had enough and stopped speaking to him. The atmosphere turned sour, and in the end, Oliver had no choice but to leave and find a new company.
