Recently, my mum started living on her own. She and my dad got a divorce, and for a while, my brother stayed with her, but then he moved in with his girlfriend. Mum told me how lonely and frightened she felt rattling around in that big house all by herself, wishing she had someone to talk to. I felt for her, so I suggested she might move in with her own sister, who also lives alone. But Mum wasnt keen on the ideashe says people dont get on easily at that age, even if theyre family.
After my brother left, Mum started popping round to ours a lotsometimes at weekends, other times during the week. My wife and I always welcomed her and enjoyed her company. We make sure to visit her whenever we get the chance, and she comes with us to the countryside whenever we visit my in-laws cottage. We do everything we can to help her feel less isolated.
Things ticked along nicely until our son was born. Mum asked if she could stay with us for a bit, saying shed help look after her grandson. That was just after we got back from the hospital with the baby. She had plenty of sensible reasons, and after thinking it over, we agreed. I must admit, she did help a great deallooking after the baby, sorting meals, and helping around the house. What we didnt anticipate was that shed more or less move in for good. Its been two months now, and theres no sign of her making plans to leave. Now shes even suggested theres no point leaving her flat emptyshe might as well rent it out to someone.
My wife and I truly appreciate all she does for usshe is a big help. But having her here constantly is starting to wear us down. Were a young couple and crave a bit of privacy, but Mums always inshes retired and rarely goes out these days. Shes forever pottering about, sorting her own projects. She keeps rearranging the kitchen and moving things around, and we just dont have the space for that extra person in our small flat. We cant even walk around in our underwear anymore, and its begun to make us feel uncomfortable. Mums also started telling us how we should live, where to spend our money, and shes constantly on at my wife that I dont help enough.
I tried to have an honest chat with Mum and explain that young families need their own space to grow. She just wont have it. She says its totally normal for a mother to live with her grown children and that we wouldnt manage without her, especially with such a young babyits just too much responsibility for us on our own. I honestly dont know how to get through to her or how to tell her shes overstayed and is starting to get on our nerves. At the same time, I feel terrible for her being alone now shes older.
But at the end of the day, its not our fault that she and Dad split up. Theres nothing to stop her from finding a new companion and moving on with her life.
