I could never quite get along with my mother-in-law.
At first, we tried the noble experiment of living together, but we managed to endure only a month before surrendering to common sense.
My relationship with my father-in-law was actually rather pleasantwe found plenty to natter about. But his wife? Well, that was a labyrinth I never did find my way through. She took a dislike to me the moment I walked in the door.
Youve used the wrong saucepan! she would shriek, Thats not how you mash potatoes!
And the complaints rolled in like the British rainendless and slightly soggy.
Eventually, my husband and I did the sensible thing and moved into a rented flat. There, I discovered I was expecting. My father-in-law had a quiet word with the dragon herself, telling her not to rile me upfor the sake of her future granddaughter.
Oh, shes a handful, that one, he confided, shaking his head ruefully, She was fiery when we were young, but now shes gone completely off the rails. I married her because she waited for me to come back from the army, and then, well, I just got used to her.
Strangely enough, my mother-in-law fell silent during my pregnancy, like someone had put her on mute. But the moment our daughter was borna whole five weeks early, mind you, though no worse for itthe troubles started up again.
That childs not yours, she hissed at my husband.
Are you blind? Dont you see why the baby came early? Surely that cant be our familys child.
Thankfully, my husband stood by me and defended me every timeonce even booting his own mother out of the house. She refused to reconcile and never even met her granddaughter. My father-in-law, loyal soul, would visit often and sneak us little gifts, though apparently earned a proper earful back home for his efforts.
Im not sure what sort of afternoon telly the old man had been watching, but when our daughter was three, he took her out for a strolland, quite without telling us, got a DNA test done. It seems he wanted to give his wife a sharp lesson.
My son not in? he blurted one day on our doorstep, looking a bit shifty, Good. Ive got the DNA results. Turns out, my wife was right. Whose daughter have you actually had? This little girl certainly isnt ours!
I was utterly floored. I hadnt known a thing about the test, nor had I ever doubted my husband was the father.
Next, my husband and I had proper tests done together, andlo and beholdthe paternity was confirmed. The twist? My beloved father-in-law was, in fact, not the girls grandfather at all.
So thats how she waited for me to come back from the army! he fumed, red as a beetroot.
Subsequently, they divorced in their twilight years, despite her many attempts to patch things up.
So, before you rush to point fingers at everyone else, perhaps have a quick peek in the mirror first.
Whats your take on that?
