My dog doesnt know the basics What should I do?
A few years back, my mother-in-law passed away, and after we laid her to rest, I swore to myself that Id stick firmly to that age-old rule: if you cant say something nice about the dead, best say nothing at all.
I made another promise too that no matter who my son brought home as his girlfriend or eventually his wife, Id never turn into my mother-in-law.
Well, you know what they say best laid plans and all that. Life has its own ideas.
My only son, Henry, just turned 25 and brought a girlfriend round at the beginning of summer.
Trying hard to remember my vow not to meddle, I welcomed the girl with open arms (well, maybe one eye slightly squinted, if Im honest).
I kept reminding myself dont be disapproving, dont nit-pick, dont play teacher my late mother-in-law did all that, and it took us to the edge of hating each other.
I dont want to push Henry away, nor his girlfriend. Truth be told, I quite enjoy making them both a cuppa in the morning, knowing who likes their toast dark and who prefers porridge, and spoiling them a bit on Saturday or Sunday. Mind you, during the week, I havent got time for those extras.
So, I often make myself scarce out with my husband by the lake, popping over to a friends, or round to Mums to make some chutney or pickle something. That way, they get the place to themselves.
Then, something a bit funny happened recently it made me stop and really think, so I wanted to share it. One evening, Henrys girlfriend popped in to show off a new blouse shed bought on her way home from work.
It hadnt cost much, and it was even cheaper since a button had come loose.
She tried it on, turned around it was lovely, really suited her. The next day, which was a Friday, we went out visiting, and I asked if shed like to wear her new blouse. She said no turns out, she couldnt sew the button back on.
I almost choked honestly! I was gobsmacked that at 22, she had neither needle, nor thread, nor the faintest idea how to attach a button.
And I started to wonder, love whats she going to do tomorrow? How will she look after a home or a family? Make big life decisions? Family stuff really does throw up surprises.
So now Im torn should I just sew the button on for her and say nothing? Should I teach her how to do it herself? Or should I leave it be if she wants to wear the blouse, shell have to sort it, and if she doesnt, well, it can gather dust in her wardrobe.
One thing I know for sure I absolutely refuse to be a terrible mother-in-law. Ive seen what that looks like and its just not for me.
