In the first few years of marriage, life ticked along normally for ushe agreed with everything! Both of us worked hard, saving up for the deposit on our mortgage. We didnt struggle with food; my husband ate whatever was put in front of him. I never fussed over cooking, got myself a slow cooker, and knocked up quick and simple mealsporridge, rice dishes, soup. There were never any complaints. Now and then, my husband would wistfully mention that he fancied something special
What sort of special? Id ask.
Oh, you know, hed say, pancakes with meat, or maybe a beef Wellington, or homemade pies. He seems obsessed with complicated dishesall those recipes that need baking, chilling, sieving, making pastry, boiling something else, finely chopping things. Its as if he wants me to spend the whole day sweating it out in the kitchen. And dont even think of buying them ready-made! Home-cooked is the only way
So, when did this all start? I asked.
Well, it was about two years after I started my maternity leave. Truthfully, I dont enjoy cooking. But I still cook, always! My husband works hard at the office, earning for us, so its not as though he comes home and theres nothing to eat. Theres always a hot meal, and not just pasta and sausages either. I cook potatoes with meat, chicken, soup, stew, salad. But still, my husband grumbles! He says, Youre home all day, you could make pastry, dumplings, homemade pies. He never seems to realise that maternity leave isnt just endless free time, what with a little one to care formen easily forget that.
Honestly, its not even about the baby! Our daughter is a dream, a real giftcalm and considerate, she sits in her high chair while I cook, happily playing with a bit of pastry dough. We sing songs, recite poems. Shes no trouble at all! I just dont want to waste my time on all that faff. Plus, I wouldnt even eat those sorts of dishes! Im on a diet, trying to cut back on meat and avoid flour altogether. Should I make homemade dumplings just for my husband? Isnt that a bit much?
So, we live well enough: my husband rushes home from work, never late, only goes to the office Christmas bash once a year and doesnt hang about. He helps with our daughteron his own initiative, too. He plays with her, bathes her, and takes her out for walks.
Just one snag: lately, hes been asking for pickles, and last week we had a serious row about it, barely spoke for days.
He honestly doesnt get that its hard workmaking pastry from scratch, frying up a batch of pancakes, filling them with meat. He thinks I cook out of duty, picking the easiest meals, never trying to please or surprise him
I find it tough! I protest. First the meat, then the pastry, then the frying, then filling! I wouldnt eat it myself, so Id have to make something separate for our daughter and me!
I reckon nowadays, no one makes things like suet puddings or old-fashioned pies at home anymore. Maybe at Christmas, but certainly not often. Even young people dont bother with big, fancy mealsif you really want a pie, you can order one online, but thats not cheap, especially if youve got a wife on maternity leave and a mortgage. Lets be honestnot something you can do every day.
Then my husband tries to compare me to his gran. She always smelled of freshly baked pies and scones. She worked all her life, and still managed with several kids.
Thats just it! Those women from the last century honestly had nothing else to do in the evenings. No telly, no internet. They invented chores just to fill the timewashing and dumpling-making. I reckon youre better off spending time with your childgoing out for a walk, not dancing around the cooker for three hours
Recently, I called my mother-in-law, who started to tell me, in that patronising tone, how the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, and that its not at all hard to cook whatever he asks for. Clearly, my husband had already complained to her.
I told her I dont eat those cabbage rolls, so I dont see why I should make them! Naturally, its the usual cluck-cluck-cluck, as though heaven forbid, why not, and whats more, she says, men used to cook too!
So, what do you think of my foodie husband? While theres always fresh, hot food at home, is it cheeky for him to demand a spread of different dishes every day? Should he just eat what hes given and not whinge, and if he wants some fancy sausage, should he make it himself?
Or should I give in to his cravings and make what he wants?
