Tuesday, 18th June
I’ve just had one of the worst arguments with Mum in years. It feels strange writing this, but lately, we can barely be civil. Honestly, living together in the same flat has strained us for so long. Mums been desperate to get me out for years, but as Im listed as a resident, she hasnt been able to force me. The number of reasons and complaints shes thrown at me is countless, and all I ever wanted was harmony with the person closest to me.
I suppose anyone would think it odd for someone my age, thirty, to still be living with their mother. I do agree, but after Daniel and I got married, we didnt have any other option. Then Oliver and William came along, and life became even more complicated.
Money worries are always there. My job pays little, and Daniel freelances from homework comes in waves, sometimes nothing for weeks. His income is so unpredictable. Were struggling to keep up with repayments on the car loan, but we needed it dearly. Mum isnt keen on the car, either.
So thats why we stay. Its far easier to split the bills and grocery costs. Plus, I can leave the boys with her, which helps so much with work and errands. But for the past couple of years, Mums constantly dropping hintssometimes outright commentsthat we need to buy our own place and move out.
I wish we could, but where are we supposed to get the money? At first, she was subtle, and I explainedgentlythat were saving as much as we can, but its slow going. Recently, its become intolerable; the issue keeps cropping up and sets us at each others throats.
Daniels reluctant to say anythinghe really doesnt want to clash with his mother-in-law, and I do get it. Still, sometimes I crave his encouragement, just knowing hes on my side.
But honestly, what could he do? The best solution would be buying our own flat, but we simply cant afford it, not with the car loan hanging over us.
I know Mum wants a peaceful retirement, and I truly understand that, but it doesnt seem fair for her to push us out. Besides, shes told me more than once shell leave the flat to me one day, so why uproot ourselves when we dont have the means?
A week ago everything exploded. After my aunt passed away, she left Mum her small one-bedroom flat in Oxford.
I thought it was wonderful newsMum could downsize and have the tranquility shes been wanting.
But Mum flatly refused to leave, and said she wouldnt give us the Oxford flat either. She just told us to work it out ourselves.
Is this reasonable? How are we supposed to move forward or even speak again? It feels so hopeless sometimes. I wish I could find a way, but Im at a loss.
