I am fifty-seven now. I’ve been married to my husband for over thirty years, and throughout all those years, I’ve been the one washing his clothes, cooking his dinners, and keeping our home cosy and welcoming. Together we have two children, and I’ve brought them up and made sure their education was sorted out all by myself. For as long as I can remember, Ive been rushing around, always juggling several jobs at once and picking up any extra work I could find, so our kids never wanted for anything and looked as smart as anyone else.
All the while, my husband barely put any effort into work, and since hitting retirement, hes simply quit altogether, sitting about the house. I’m still working, lending a hand to our kids with the grandchildren, and keeping up the housework.
I’ve asked him more than once to find some kind of work, even something simple like night watchman. His answers always, Were doing perfectly well without me working. Hes clever enough not to go hungry, though! Sometimes I barely have time to throw dinner together, only to find hes eaten all the best bits and left me just the soup.
I chatted with a friend about it once, and she suggested I cook separately: use cheaper ingredients for him, and keep the better food for myself. After that, I came home and told my husband that my doctors put me on a special diet, so he shouldnt touch my food.
Now I hide the biscuits and good tea in the cupboard, and when he pops off to the shed, I enjoy a cuppa and a treat. Sausages and cheese get tucked away in the fridge out of his sight, and I help myself when hes not around. Thankfully, weve got two fridges: one holds the main groceries, and the others got picked onions and chutneysand its where I stash my best supplies.
Men never notice anything. I buy myself quality turkey for making steamed patties, while he gets pork past its best-before date; I add a dash of spice and he doesnt care. His pastas the cheap stuff, hardly costs anything, while I treat myself to proper wholewheat pasta.
I cant see anything wrong with what Im doingI dont believe Im in the wrong, because if he wants decent food, he can get himself a job instead of loafing around. At our age, splitting up makes no sense now most of our lives are behind us, and with the house shared between us, why sell it and split the pounds?
I’ve come to realise that fairness isnt always about splitting everything down the middleits about recognising effort and respect. Sometimes, doing whats right for yourself is the only way to stay content. After all, lifes too short not to look after yourself, especially when you spend so much of it caring for others.
