My parents live in Manchester, while Ive made my home in London.
Its been over two decades since we last set eyes on each other. Theyre both artists and sing in a local folk choir, their entire lives seem to be spent travelling from one gig to another. When I turned five, I was sent to live with my nan. To make things a bit easier, she had to move in with family up in Yorkshire. In the early days, my mum and dad would visit twice, maybe three times a year, but with time those visits faded into almost nothing. Eventually, I stopped thinking about them at all. Our communication just fizzled out to nothing. When I was in medical school, I ended up marrying in my third year.
Now, my husband and I run our own dental clinic and we do quite well for ourselves. Then, out of the blue last year, my parents resurfaced. They began calling the clinic, not even having my mobile number. Every conversation just revolved around their latest woes and grievances.
I listened to it all and finally told them, gently but firmly, that theyd made their choice the day they passed their daughter to her nan for raising. Sometimes, theyd send Nan a few pounds, but more often than not, she and I made do on her pension. She made it clear, and I understood well enough, as we had to be careful with every penny.
I worked hard at school and secured a scholarship, so my studies didn’t cost us anything. To afford clothes and to keep afloat, I worked nights as a nurse at the hospital. Now, I have my own life, and my parents have theirs, and I think thats how it should be.
When they realised I wouldnt be bailing them out financially, they threatened to take legal action and file for child support. But considering the state of the law these days and the distance between us, I cant see that ever going anywhere. That was the final straw for me. Before, I sometimes doubted my decision or thought perhaps I owe them something, maybe I should help out with money, but after those threats, I feel nothingno desire to know them or hear from them again.
Am I right to keep my distance, or is shutting them out like this unforgivable?
