Dont Stir the Past
Often, Theresa found herself pondering her life, now that shed crossed the threshold of fifty. She couldnt quite call her marriage blissful, all because of her husband, George. Theyd married young, in love, she thought. And yet, shed missed the moment when George changed.
They lived in a small English village, in the old stone cottage that belonged to Georges mother, Margaret. Theresa tried to keep peace in the house, always respectful to her mother-in-law, who returned her kindness. Theresas own mother lived in the neighbouring village with her younger son, and she was often unwell.
Margaret, how do you manage with your Theresa? nosy neighbours would ask her, gossiping by the postbox or in the high street shop.
Well, I cant fault Theresa, Margaret replied each time, Shes polite, keeps the house well, tends to the garden, and helps me with everything.
Oh, you expect us to believe everythings rosy? Theres never been a mother-in-law who sings her daughter-in-laws praises, we dont buy it, came the sceptical retorts.
Thats your concern, Margaret would sigh and carry on her way.
Not long after, Theresa gave birth to a daughter, Lily. Everyone rejoiced.
Theresa, Lily looks just like me, Margaret would search for her own features in her granddaughters face, while Theresa laughed and said it hardly mattered who her daughter resembled.
When Lily turned three, Theresa gave birth to a son. More cheerful chaos. George worked, Theresa tended to the children at home, and Margaret was a godsend. Life, somehow, was quieter than mostGeorge didnt drink like the other village men. Some wives had to drag their husbands home from the pub, grumbling and muttering curses all the way.
Theresa was expecting her third child when she heard the whispers: George was having an affair. Rumours travelled fast, and soon everyone knew about George and Martha the widow. The neighbour, Valerie, didnt hesitate to visit.
Theresa, youre carrying Georges third, and hes out Valeries words were rough, chasing other women.
Valerie, truly? I havent seen him do a thing, Theresa was surprised.
Of course you havent. With two children and another due, plus the house, the garden, and Margaret. While youre busy, hes living it up. The whole village knows, and Martha doesnt even hide it.
Theresa was disheartened. Margaret knew too, but kept silent, worried for her daughter-in-law. Shed scolded George more than once, but he brushed it off.
Mum, dont believe the idle talk. You know how people gossip.
One evening, Valerie burst in.
Theresa, Ive just seen George slip into Marthas garden, clear as day, coming out of the shop. Are you going to let him leave you with three children? Go yank Martha by the hair! Youre pregnantGeorge wont dare lay a finger on you, not now, Valerie rattled on.
Theresa knew she lacked the nerve for confrontation. Martha was sharp, fieryher husband had drowned during a drunken bingeand knew how to stand her ground. But Theresa decided, after all, to go.
Ill just look George in the eye, she told Margaret, bring the truth to light. Hell never admit it, says its womens gossip.
Margaret pleaded, Theresa, stay home, think of the baby
It was late autumn by then, dusk had fallen. Theresa knocked on Marthas window and waited. Martha called through the closed door,
What do you want? Why are you banging on the windows?
Open up, let me in. I know George is with you. Kind folk have told me, Theresa said loudly.
Ha, not a chance. Ill just open up, will I? Go home, dont make a fool of yourself, Martha laughed from behind the door.
Theresa stood a while, then made her way home, knowing Martha wouldnt open up. George stumbled in after midnight, drunka rare occurrence, but he did drink sometimes. Theresa hadnt slept.
Where were you? I know youre seeing Martha; I went there, she wouldnt open the door You know its true.
Oh, youre imagining things, George flared, I was with limping Henry at his, lost track of time.
Theresa didnt believe him but kept quiet; there was nothing to be gained in raising a scene. And what could she do? As the saying goes, Innocent until proven guilty. Still, she lay awake, wondering,
Where would I go with two children and another on the way? Mums ill and lives with my brother and his broodalready cramped. How would we all fit?
Her mother would always say when Theresa complained of Georges affairs,
Endure, love, youre married, have children. Endure. Did you imagine living with your father was easy? He drank, drove us outyou remember hiding at the neighbours. God had his plan for him, but I endured. George isnt so badat least he rarely drinks or raises a hand. Women have been enduring since time began.
Even if Theresa didnt quite agree, she knew shed never be able to leave; Margaret also tried to calm her.
Daughter, where would you go with three children? Soon another will arrive. Together well manage George.
The third childa daughter, Daisywas born fragile, often ill. It seemed Theresas worries during pregnancy had affected her. But in time Daisy grew calmer, and Margaret doted on her.
Theresa, new gossip! Valerie, the local magpie, announced one morning, Marthas taken in Michaelhis wife threw him out.
Well, thats her business, Theresa replied, secretly relievedGeorge wouldnt be running to Marthas any longer.
But a month later, Valerie scurried in again.
Michael left Martha, went back to his wife. Now Marthas single again, and looking for another man Keep George close, loveold flames die hard!
Once again, peace descended on Theresas home, and Margaret rejoiced. But if theres a devil stirring inside a man, he wont sit quietly at home.
Walking back from the shop one day, Margaret bumped into her old friend Agnes.
Margaret, whats become of that George of yours? Theresas lovely, you always say so, what more could he want?
What is it, Agnes? Dont tell me Georges up to his old tricks?
Oh, he is, Margaret! Hes got it good at homemeals, laundry, pampering galore. But hes running after Veronica from the café now
Margaret didnt tell Theresa, but she privately scolded her son, begging him to come to his senses. But secrets dont stay hidden for long. The same old Valerie brought the news to Theresa. Tears and pleas did no good. George would keep straying, though he never talked of leaving; he knew, he could never walk away from his family. Life was easywife at home, children, mother, comfortsand a fling elsewhere for fun.
Margaret began openly reproaching George, urging him to change, but what grown man listens to his aging mother? He shouted at her, told her to mind her own business.
Mum, I work for the family, bring home the money, and you both blame me. Believing womens gossip, George protested.
He wasnt heavy-handed with drink before, now hed stopped altogether.
Time passed; the children grew up. Lily married a lad from the nearby town, where shed studied at college. The son finished university in the city, married a local girl.
Young Daisy finished her school and planned to head to the town for college too. George had settlednow it was just work and home, more often sprawled on the settee, health faltering. Hed given up drinking entirely.
Theresa, my hearts playing up, feels like its catching in my back, hed complain. Then again, Theresa, my knees ache, what does it meanjoints finally giving up? Maybe I should see the doctor in town.
Theresa felt no pity for George. Her soul had hardened long ago with all the heartbreak and disappointment until hed finally calmed down.
His healths failing, so he sits at home, moaning, she thought, Let him grumble to his old flames Let them see to him now.
Margaret had passed away, buried beside her husband, and quiet settled over the cottage. Now and then, the children and grandchildren visited. Both parents seemed to brighten up. George would complain to the kids about his health, even accusing Theresa of neglect. Lily brought medicines, tended to her father, and gently chided Theresa,
Mum, dont quarrel with Dad, hes ill, but this stungher daughter took the fathers side.
Daughter, he brought it on himselfhe lived wild and now wants sympathy. Im no iron lady; I lost my own health worrying over him back then, Theresa tried to justify herself.
The son, too, gave George encouragement during visits, bonding more with himmens business, after all.
The children didnt seem to grasp their mothers sidethe years she endured for their sakes, the weight of it all. If ever she tried to explain, she was met with,
Mum, dont dig up the pastdont torment Dad, said Lily, her brother agreeing.
Mum, its over now, soothed the son, giving her shoulder a gentle pat.
It hurt a little, knowing the children sided with their father. But Theresa understoodlife is life, an endless swirl of letting go.
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