I read the story of a single mother on here who said she didnt know what to do and couldnt see a way out. It made me want to share my own story, not to judge anyone, but because when you have children and youre in need, you simply cant sit around waiting for money to fall from the sky. No one ever handed anything to meI fought for everything I have.
I left home when I was just sixteen. Stubbornness, foolishness, and the belief that I was all grown up and could manage a better life with my boyfriend pushed me out the door. We moved into a tiny flatone of those where the kitchen is almost part of the living room, the bedroom hidden behind a thin wall, and the bathroom out in a small shared yard. It was far from luxurious, but it was ours. Two years later, just after my eighteenth birthday, I found out I was expecting our first child. In the beginning, everything seemed manageable. He drove a cab, brought home enough for groceries, and we kept up with the rent. There was never any spare, but at least we werent starving.
When our son was nearly one, I noticed he was bringing home less and less money. There was always a reasonquiet season, too much competition, the car was playing up. I believed him. Then I fell pregnant againwith our daughter. By the time I was four months along, he just left. No warning. One day he came, packed a few clothes, and was off to another woman.
The hardest part wasnt just that he abandoned us, but that suddenly everyone had something to sayneighbours, relatives, people from all over our area. They claimed theyd seen him and this woman together for ages, that shed been waiting for him on street corners, that he slept at her place. Nobody told me anything while we were together. I only found out when I was alone, pregnant, with a small child.
He vanished completely. Never asked about the children. Not a penny came for nappies. I remember sitting on the floor crying the whole day. The fridge was almost empty, the milk was nearly gone, another baby was due, rent was looming, and we didnt have enough clothes or even a cot. I cried. But the next morning, I got up and decided I couldnt just sit there.
I started right from that very flat. I placed small orders on credit from the local shop. I made jellies, little puddings in cups, cupcakes. I took pictures of them on my phone and shared them on my WhatsApp status and Instagram. I never lied. I wrote the truth: Selling homemade desserts to buy nappies and milk. People started to buy them. Some out of sympathy, others because they enjoyed them. With that money, I paid for groceries, saved up for rent, and bought the essentials.
Soon after, I started making cooked lunches to orderrice, lentils, chicken casserole, mince. A man from our street would deliver the orders with his motorbike, and Id pay him for the trip. I got up at five every morning to cook, with my big baby bump and my little boy toddling around me. On some days, I was so exhausted I would just sit down and cry quietly into the washing. But each day, Id be back up lighting the hob again.
I saved every pound I could. Near the time I was due to give birth, my mother called and asked me to come stay with them, so I wouldnt be alone. My daughter was born there. Since then, my parents have been my pillar of strength. They cant support me financially, but they keep me standingthey help with the children whenever I need to prepare orders.
Today, my son is six. My daughter is growing fast. My mum and I have started a little cake business together. Its not a big company, but weve got a tiny shop, we make birthday cakes, dessert tables, bespoke orders for events. We arent rich, but I dont go to bed hungry, and I dont go to sleep worrying about how to feed my children tomorrow.
I know the pain of a man leaving a woman with children. It isnt fair. But Ive learned you cant sit and wait for someone to rescue you. No one came to rescue me. When you have children, giving up isnt an option. Sometimes you just have to keep going, even when the path is hard, because your resilience is all they have.
