How can I expect you to take on such a responsibility? Even my own father and Helen refused to take him in.
Mary, darling, pull yourself together! Who are you marrying! cried my mum, adjusting my veil with trembling hands.
At least tell me whats wrong with Simon? Why dont you like him? I asked, confused by her tears.
Well, for starters, his mothers a shop assistant with the temper of a terrier. His father vanished years ago, and from what I hear, he spent his youth drinking and causing trouble.
Our granddad was a bit of a drinker too, and hed chase granny around the village. Did it really matter?
But your granddad was respected in the village, a man of standing.
Didnt make things any easier for granny, did it? I was a child, and I still remember how scared she was of him. Mum, Simon and I will be alright. You shouldnt judge people by their parents.
Wait until you have children, then youll understand! Mum huffed, and I just sighed.
It wouldnt be easy for us, not if she refused to change her mind about Simon. Still, we went ahead with our lively wedding and started our own family. Fortunately, Simon had inherited a house from his grandparents in a charming little villagethe same absent fathers parents, mind you.
Simon gradually renovated the place, and soon we had a real modern home. All the comforts anyone could ask for. Looking back, I dont know why Mum used to go on about him.
A year after our wedding, our son Jack arrived, and four years later our daughter Emily joined us. Whenever they had the slightest sniffle or got themselves into a mess, Mum would appear almost immediately with her I told you so! Shed always add, Little children, little problems. Just wait till they grow upwith that family background, youll have your hands full!
Of course I tried to ignore Mums grumbling; she did it more out of habit. After all, Id gone against her wishes and married without her blessing.
Mum was simply the sort who needed everything to go her way. Deep down, shed come to terms with my decision, and even secretly admitted Simon was pure gold. Admitting it aloud, though, would mean accepting shed been wrongand that was unthinkable! As for her comments about the grandchildren, I knew they grew out of worry, not seriousness. In reality, she loved them fiercely, and would have thrown herself in the river for them if ever trouble came their way.
Yet sometimes her talk of big problems made me nervous. After all, every generation knows the stress that comes when children grow up.
And mine were growing up fast. Jack was finishing his A-levels, ready to head off to university in the nearest towna prestigious place, only a hundred miles away.
But for a mothers heart, those hundred miles felt like the distance to another planet. So far away!
The first four nights, I barely slept, worrying about my boy! What if someone was mean to him? What if he skipped a meal? What if the city changed himJacks such a good lad.
At first, Jack lived in the student halls set aside for country kids. But my motherly heart couldnt stand it, so I convinced Simon to rent him a flat in the city. Jack insisted on paying part of the rent himself and got an online job. Smart as anything, my boy!
Id travel to the city every weekend to check on Jack, help him tidy and cook. Yet his flat was always surprisingly spotless.
At home, hed never tidy his roomabsolute chaos was more his style. And he always had food readysteamed burgers or stews in pots. Im telling you, hes clever, not just a son!
Soon Simon grew annoyed with my constant trips.
Mary, let the lad breathe! You never give him a moments freedom! And youve no time left for me! Ill go off and be welcomed by Linda the postwoman insteadsee how you like it!
He was joking, but it still gave me a fright! I couldnt imagine life without my husband, especially if he went to Linda. Still, he was rightit was time to let Jack stand on his own.
For a while, I continued fussing over him, but gradually I learned to live with Jacks independence. I let go, stopped hoveringonly to realise Id made a mistake.
One day, someone from the university office rang to say Jack was missing seminars and close to getting dropped from the course! How could that be? Was there some mix-up? My Jack? Impossible! I turned frantic, took a few days off work, and dashed off to the city. Not even Simon could hold me backI was unstoppable.
Jack hadnt expected me. Worse, he hadnt hidden the reason for his absences.
The reason was Anna. She was sweet-faced, angelic evenand with her was a one-year-old boy.
I understood at once. This girl with a baby on her hip was trying to ensnare my son and have him marry her.
Its true, Im a modern mum, and times are different now, but still! Jack was far too young for marriagelet alone raising a child not his own. Anna couldnt have been more than eighteen herself. How had she already a baby?
A storm raged inside me, but I kept myself in check. I greeted Anna politely and cornered Jack in the kitchen for a serious talk.
Jack, are you in love? I asked, forcing a smile that probably looked like a grimace.
Absolutely, Mum, he smiled.
And what about uniis it really getting away from you? I eased towards the heart of it, treading carefully.
I know, Ive let things slide a bit, but its just a phase. Ill get on top of it, dont worry.
What sort of phase? Will you tell me?
I cant, Mumits not my secret. Maybe, once you and Anna get to know each other better, Ill tell you.
I didnt want to set Jack against me, so I retreated and went home.
This is your fault! I stormed at Simon. You insisted on letting him off the leash! Now look whats happened! What do we do now?
Whats the matter, really? my ever-optimistic husband asked. Dont you like the idea of a ready-made child? If Jack cares for him, the boy is family.
And youre ready to be grandfather?
Why not? When the kids were born, I knew Id be a granddad one day.
But to someone elses child!
Mary! Are you sure Im talking to you? No childs really a strangerthink about it.
He went off to sleep in the other room. I paced our empty bedroom half the night, angry with everythinglife, Anna, Jack, even Simon for siding with them. Then I started to calm down and realised Simon was right.
The child was blameless. And Anna, probably, was just unlucky. By dawn, Id cried myself out, berated myself, and crept to Simon asleep on the sofa.
Simon, forgive me! I Ive just realised how much I love you all.
Come here, silly woman! he chuckled, lifting the blanket so I could snuggle in.
I drifted off with a happy grinwell, Im going to be a grandma! So what? That little lad in Jacks flat really is adorable. His names Michael.
But reality wasnt as simple as Id hoped. Soon Jack said he wanted to switch to evening courses and marry Anna.
This time, I resolved not to rush to judgment and let it settle in. Only after some thought did we travel to the city together one weekend. Simon, I knew, would help us sort things out sensiblyand not get into any unnecessary drama. I needed him, because honestly, the urge to create drama was very real!
Anna met us in the hallway, dabbing a tear.
Im sorry, honestly! I dont want Jack to do this, but hes stubbornyou must know.
Stubborns putting it mildly, Simon chuckled, kicking off his shoes. But hes not thick. If hes decided, it must matter. Anna, calm down. Were here to talk things through.
We moved to the kitchen; Jack was out getting milk.
He wont be long, Anna explained.
Why keep apologising? Simon asked kindly. We dont know what youve done wrong yet. Lets have some teaIve just driven a hundred miles, after all.
Oh! Yes, of course! Anna bustled about nervously.
Simon rolled his eyes at yet another apology, and Anna caught the look, smiling in return. I saw hed already accepted her, and sighed in resignation.
When the tea was steaming and Simon was working through his third homemade biscuitvery rare among young ladies these daysI was sure Jack hadnt baked it himselfJack returned.
He unpacked the groceries, but I saw something steely in his eyes Id never noticed beforea grown mans resolve. It occurred to me that perhaps I couldnt tell him what to do anymore.
So, youre planning to marry? Simon put the question straight.
Yes. Its not up for debate, Jack replied firmly.
Fair enough. But why the rush? Is there another baby on the way?
Oh no! Anna shook her head, cheeks flushing.
A strange thought crossed my mindtheir relationship might not even be at that stage yet. Who knows? But
Whats the hurry, then?
If we dont, Michael will be put into care, Anna murmured, eyes lowered.
Why would that happen? Simon asked seriously.
Because his mother passed away Anna whispered, her lips trembling.
Anna, you dont have to explain, Jack cut in. Mum, Dad, please understand and accept what I told you. The rest is our business.
Wait, Jack, Anna stopped him. If were together, your parents are my family. I wont hide from themit wouldnt be right.
Anna paused, and Simon and I glanced at each other.
Anna, is Michael not your son? I ventured.
No, hes my half-brothersame mum, different fathers.
I wanted to hug everyone right then, but managed to keep my composure. Anna continued:
My mum died in prisonshe had a heart defect. They say she lived longer than most would. Her life wasnt easy; she had a fiery nature.
The words came slowly, but Anna pressed on, even as Jack and Simon tried to spare her.
She first went to prison after an argument with my dadshe knocked down an old lady at a crossing. The newspapers even covered it.
When Mum was jailed, Dad took me, and we lived separately. Before short, he remarried Helen, gentle and kind. We got on wellyou could say their decision gave me a stable life. I truly count Dad and Helen as my real family.
Anna paused again. Jack took her hand under the table, and I sensed more trouble was coming.
Three years ago, Mum fell in love with Dennis, ten years her junior. Along came Michael. I was glad to have a little brother and often visited. I never saw any arguments at home, but the neighbours said they heard rows, breaking crockery, that sort of thing.
One day, an argument got out of handMum apparently grew jealous of Dennis. She pushed him; he tripped over the blanket and hit his head on the coffee table. He died two days later in hospital. Mum was arrested.
Anna rushed on, voice trembling:
She died in custody before her trial. Her heart just stopped. I ask only thisplease dont judge my mum harshly. She was like a hummingbirdcolourful, restless, unstoppable. But I loved her so much.
Simon spoke gently, Now, Anna, you must forgive usfor making you relive all this. But youre right, were family now, and we should support each other.
Its embarrassing to admit, but part of me wanted to shout: Jack, dont do it! We dont want this kind of trouble! Our familys never had criminals!
But I stopped myself, remembering the picture of Mum crying at my own wedding, trying to talk me out of marrying Simon.
I mentally berated myself, repeating: You of all people should knowyou cant judge by someones parents!
That inner reckoning brought clarity, and a wild, wonderful idea. I looked at Simon and saw him smilinghed understood, and was on board too.
Simon nodded and said:
What if we do this? Your mum and I can apply for guardianship of Michael. You two focus on your studies, and hold off on marriage for now.
What? Anna frowned.
Dad, dont, Jack protested.
Michael would be happy in the villageyou know how good your own childhood was. If ever you decide, you could take him back. But right now, your mum and I would love to care for him. Your sisters all about boys now anywayparents are old news.
Anna, I said softly, the decisions yours.
How can I ask you to take on such a responsibility? Even my father and Helen refused, Anna replied.
We hadnt noticed when Michael himself woke up and tottered into the kitchen, arms reaching for Simon.
Oh, what a heavy load, Simon joked, scooping up Michael.
Simon, youll make a better dad than granddad! I laughed.
Just you wait, he winked, then whispered in my ear, Ill show you what a granddad can do this evening.
The kids fussed a little, but in the end they agreed to our plan. Surprisingly, getting guardianship was straightforward.
The social worker told us its quite common nowolder families taking in little ones, with lots of love still to give. Simon and I definitely felt revived, caring for Michael.
Getting up in the night to see to him, I sometimes cried tears of sheer happiness at this unexpected joy.
Naturally, Mum scolded us for our crazy decision. She told us off and loved Michael the fiercest of all.
Oh Mary! What are you thinking! shed lament, then turn to Michael and coo, And whose sleepy eyes are closing now, who wants a nap?
And then again:
What do you think youre doing, Mary? Whose little fingers are all sticky now? Oh dear, how will you manage? Wheres my Michael, where has he gone?!
But thats the thing about family. We dont always get whats expected, but love finds its way. What matters isnt where someone comes from, but what they do with the life they have. In the end, its not the past that defines us, but the compassion and acceptance we choose to offer. Thatmore than anythingis what makes a family whole.
