Im forty-one, and Ive never once cheated on my wife. But before I met her, I certainly wasnt a saint. Id never had a serious girlfriend. I was free, living the bachelor life. Id see one woman, then anotherthe usual Friday night dates, Saturday pub crawls, raucous birthday parties. I never owed anyone explanations; I hadnt promised anybody anything.
I worked in an electrical workshop, earning a decent wage. After hours, Id hit the pubs and clubs with mates, or swing by some party. Sometimes Id spend the night with a woman, only to vanish from her world by morningnot because I was cruel, but because I didnt want anything serious. I always joked that commitment simply wasnt for me.
Everything changed the day I met my wife. She was a trainee nurse in the hospital and Id been called in to fix a dodgy socket. She asked for help, and we got chatting. She asked my name; I asked hers; we both laughed. At the end of my shift, she handed me her number. That night, I messaged hernot with my usual bravado, but with the nerves of a fifteen-year-old.
Our first dates were uneventfulwalks around Hyde Park, ice cream near the Serpentine, shepherds pie after work. Gradually, I stopped paying attention to other womennot because she demanded it, but because I simply didnt want to give my time elsewhere. I could tell she wasnt just another one.
When I asked her to be my girlfriend, I told her plainly, If were going to start something, lets do it properly. No half-measures. She looked me dead in the eye and said, I dont share. I replied, Neither do I. From then on, I realised that fidelity isnt just about looking away from other women but about keeping your promise.
We got married with no fanfare, no posh ceremony. We rented a small bedsit with a borrowed bed and a tiny cooker. She worked night shifts; I took overtime. We had no energy, no time for adventure. Just bills, tiredness, and our shared dreams.
Temptations cropped up, though. A colleague from work would message me late at night, send me accidental photos, suggest I deserved better than a wife who was always knackered. Once, she waited for me in the car park and invited me to a motel. I told her no, got in my car, and drove home.
At a mates party, some woman sat beside me, tipsy and bold, stroking my arm. I stood up, found my wife, and we left without saying our goodbyes. Id rather seem abrupt than cross a line I could never erase.
My friends tease me now. They say I used to be alive, but nowadays Im dull. And to be honest, theyre rightIm no longer that person. Before, it was just me, living for myself. Now, theres someone else in my world.
Recently, my son asked me if Id ever been with other women since I got married. I said, No. He looked surprised and told me almost all his friends have parents who split up because of cheating. Thats when I saw my choices didnt just shape my marriagethey shape my kids.
Back when I was single, women came and went because I had no commitments. But the day I chose herthe day I decided she was the woman I wanted to grow old withI realised loyalty isnt a cage. Its something you choose, daily. And even now, I dont regret choosing her.
