Choice
And it turns out Daniel is very much married sighed Elsie as she sat on a bench in the little park, nervously clutching the folded referral in her coat pocket.
Her dormitory roommates had always envied her, catching glimpses of her with that dashing, coal-haired, clean-shaven blue-eyed man. They thought her lucky to have such a gentleman for a companion. There ended up being nothing worth envying, after all.
Elsie shuddered, remembering the first and only meeting with Daniels wife. The woman had been waiting just past the factory gates, determined to spell out precisely where things stood.
Well, hello there! Elsie, isnt it? the woman began, her voice cool and calm.
And who might you be? Elsie flinched, unsettled by the womans piercing gaze. Tall, slim, and with ash-blonde hair, she carried herself with the assurance of the truly certain.
Im Madeline. Daniel Bennetts wife.
What?
You heard.
Another naive little thing, said Madeline in a measured voice, Theres always going to be a new crop of you, isnt there? Chasing someone elses happiness.
How dare you?
Now, listen. The blonde woman calmly took Elsies arm, What are you playing at, exactly? Im his lawful wife and I saw you walking with my husband. Yet you put on airs in front of me instead of simply apologising and disappearing from view. Decent girls do that, but I suppose decency has nothing to do with you.
She scanned Elsie with clinical detachment. Theres been more of you than I could count using fingers and toes. You think you can settle with a married manShameless!
Hes a man, a hunter. Understand? You, to him, are just a fleeting adventure. Hell have his fun and wont remember your name. Stay well clear.
Oh, and by the way, weve two daughters. I can show you a family photo. Madeline fished out a worn picture and thrust it into Elsies hands. There. Proof. Thats us in Brighton two months ago See? You have nothing to say?
What do you want from me? Go and talk to your husband.
Oh, I will, dont worry! He only started at the factory recently. Proper wagesand now you turn up! Do the decent thing. Dont fall for his promises; Daniel has no plans to get divorced. Dont waste your youth. How old are you, thirty?
Twenty-five! Elsie snapped, stung.
Even better. Youve time enough for marriage and children of your own. Leave Daniel alone.
Elsie stopped listening and walked away on legs turned to jelly, her little bubble of dreams abruptly punctured by the woman who had swept in and upended her world. All her pretty hopes were dashed in a moment.
Traitor murmured Elsie as a hard lump rose in her throat, but she would not allow herself to break down here in public. She refused to become office gossip. She would not give them the satisfaction.
That evening Daniel arrived as if nothing had happened, bearing flowers. Elsie, red-eyed and raw, threw him out of her tiny room, unmoved by his declarations of eternal love or promises to leave his wifeafter all, they had long been strangers to one another, apparently.
For a fortnight afterwards Elsie tried to gather herself. Daniel stopped bothering her entirely, pretending not to see her at work, turning briskly away whenever they crossed paths.
Trouble never travels alone. Elsies morning nausea and dizziness were first blamed on nerves, but soon the cause was clearthe impulsive, starry-eyed affair with Daniel had left utter certainty in its wake. Six weeks, echoed in her ears like a verdict.
She did not want to end up a lone mother. Fear seized her. She felt certain everyone around her knew the secret, silently watching with disapproval, because she had trusted someone shed never truly known, and now she had erred.
Daniel had deceived her. What could she have done? Demanded his passport when they first met? There wasnt a ring on his finger, not that all married men bother with such things. Why hadnt she been wary when hed insisted on keeping their relationship a secret from their colleagues?
She had been tricked, but knowing shed been honest didnt lighten the burden on her soul. Besides, the entire office now buzzed about Madelines confrontation at the gates.
Im pregnant. Elsie told her former lover during her lunch break, having lost all hope.
Ill give you moneyjust sort it out, he muttered in reply.
The next morning Daniel left his job without a word, disappearing from her life for good.
Elsie realised she couldnt stall. Despite the nurses warnings, she took the referral for the procedure.
There she was, sitting on the park bench, white-knuckled around the slip of paper, frightened it might vanish or shift from her grasp.
In a hurry? said a young man in a business suit, flopping onto the bench next to her, arms full of dark red chrysanthemums.
What? her hollow gaze flitted to this stranger.
Your watchrunning fast. He nodded at her wrist, indicating her little gold watch.
My watch is always ten minutes ahead I set it back all the time, but its no use. She spoke with cool indifference, turning away.
The weathers glorious. Real Indian summer, dont you think? the stranger continued, undeterred. My mum loves this time of year. Says it was on just such a warm autumn day, long ago, she made the right choice in her life and never regretted it. Did you know he rambled on, as if hed fallen out of nowhere, my mums the very best. I owe her everything! He flashed a proud thumbs-up.
And your dad? asked Elsie before she could stop herself.
She never saysmust be hard for her to recall him. I never ask.
Ive just come from an interview. Out of all the applicants, they picked me for a brilliant company job. First time anyones picked me for anything, and Ive got no experience! Hard to believe
It was Mum who gave me the confidence I needed. I already know what Ill do with my first payIll buy her a trip to the seaside. Shes never seen the sea.
Have you?
No. Elsie found herself gazing at the young mans matching dark red tie.
He caught her look and smiled, A gift from Mum, he explained, smoothing the silk proudly.
Im probably boring you silly, but I so much wanted to share my happiness with someone, and you looked so terribly sad I just thought maybe you needed someone to talk to. Am I rambling?
Elsie simply shook her head. The stranger was oddly comforting; he had managed to halt the oppressive dark thoughts spiralling in her mind. His open love for his mother awoke something like respect within her.
What a loyal heart, she thought, watching and listening to him with growing interest. His mother is so lucky If only I had a son like that
Well, Ill be off. My mum will be waiting for me and worrying And you, dont rush it!
Pardon?
I meant your watch. He beamed at her.
Oh. Elsie smiled back at him.
A minute later, the young man had vanished, and Elsie, who had fiercely guarded the referral just moments before, tore it into a thousand shreds and let them flutter away.
She sat for a long while, mesmerised, breathing in the golden air of the autumn day.
Somehow her heart felt lighter and warmly awake after her brief, strange encounter with the talkative stranger who felt so familiar. She was not alone. That woman had raised her son alone, brought up a marvellous young manElsie hadnt even asked his name, but by now that hardly mattered.
The choice had been made.
***
Twenty-three years later
Mum, Im going to be late, Toby called, hovering at the mirror as his mother deftly knotted his new deep red tiethe very one theyd bought together for this crucial job interview.
Maybe forget the tie?
Its for luck, Mum. Im sure itll go welltheyll love you There, perfect! Elsie finished and stepped back, taking in her son with glowing pride.
Its nerve-wracking, what if?
This jobs yours. No nerves. Just answer the questions clearly and dont forget to smile. You look smashing.
Thanks, Mum. Toby kissed her cheek and dashed off.
Elsie watched from the window as her most precious person in the whole world strode off towards the bus stop. Suddenly, she drew a sharp breath, shivering as if electrified.
Hadnt she seen this all before? That young man on the park bench, over twenty years ago
Now her Toby, in his smart suit, reminded her of him.
She had nearly forgotten that strange moment all those years ago, and now the long-buried memory rose to the surface clear and huge.
How could that be?
Had fate itself shown her, in a quiet, surreal vision, the person shed nearly let slip through her fingers? Had destiny itself nudged her along the right path, saving her from herself?
Why on earth hadnt she spoken his name, or his mothers name? But it did not matter anymore.
Everything had come together splendidly.
That evening, Toby returned home with an enormous bouquet of rich red chrysanthemumsmatching his tie and announced that hed been offered the job.
He promised Elsie that now, at last, theyd go to the seaside. After all, shed never in her life seen the sea.
Now it was his turn to look after the mum he loved so fiercely. For her, hed move mountains and turn rivers backwardssuch a son was Elsies.
All the hardships, every worry along the way, faded. Sometimes she would clasp his sweet-smelling hair and find it healed her heart.
Theyd managed everything; they had endured, never once losing heart.
Elsie never once regretted her decision. She had made the best choice for herself in all the world.
And so it would be.
