Emily grew up feeling like an orphan, despite having both her parents alive. Her mother, Helen, was almost a distant dreamsomeone she saw in photos and heard from only in the form of the occasional video call. Her father, Richard, lived just next door, but never took part in raising her. In fact, Emily had the impression that Richard even avoided looking in her direction, as if any glance her way might result in her asking him for something.
Earlier on, Emily used to take it to heart that Helen had chased after her own happiness, forgetting about her daughter. But as she grew older, she began to understand. It couldnt have been easyleft a single mother at sixteen, especially when the father was just a schoolmate and a neighbour rolled into one.
At least Helen hadnt been afraid to have her. She could have chosen otherwise. Despite leaving Emily as a baby in the care of her own parents, Helen had still granted her lifeand for that, Emily was quietly grateful. Who knew what her life might have turned out to be, had she been raised by a woman who seemed to lack any true feeling of motherhood?
As it was, Emilys childhood was full of warmth and affection. Her grandparents doted on her endlessly, showering her with care and love.
Grandad and Gran could deny her nothing, and Helen regularly sent trendy clothes and toys from London. The parcels only became more frequent once Helen married a foreign man. Sometimes, Emily felt her mother sent all these things out of guilt.
On her eighteenth birthday, Helen even transferred money so that Grandad could buy Emily a flat in Manchester. University was just around the corner, and Helen thought it far better for Emily to have her own place, rather than living in cramped student digs.
In this way, Helen was always, ever so gently, trying to show Emily that everything she did was for her only.
To the surprise of her grandparents, Emily harboured no bitterness toward Helennor, if truth be told, did she feel any particular warmth.
Whenever Helen visited, neighbours and friends often mistook them for sisters, so alike they seemed. Helen, always taking care of herself, looked nowhere near her thirty-four years.
Emily, darling, why dont you come and live with me?
No, Mum, I still have to finish my studies.
Of course, make the most of it You clever thing, who do you take after, I wonder Heres my new number. If you need money, or anything at all, ring me any time.
Thanks, Mum. Youve bought me so much, and given me enough money to last me ages.
Emily didnt notice how the word Mum made Helen flinch. She still wasnt cut out for motherhood, and had even told her foreign husband that she was only supporting her parents and younger sisternever mentioned the grown-up daughter living back in England.
Perhaps Helen did love Emily, but it seemed more the love of a very distant relative.
When her husband left herswapping Helen for a woman from his own countrythe first place she headed was Emilys flat.
Emily, you dont mind if I stay with you a while, do you?
Of course not, Mum, you can. But Ill be moving in with Oliver after the wedding anyway.
Youre getting married? Isnt it a bit soon? You only just turned twenty.
Too soon?
Emily wanted to point out that Helen had given birth at sixteen, but she bit her tongueno sense stirring old hurt, or seeming rude. Emily considered herself an adult, and felt able to make her own decisions now.
Shed often compare Olivers parents with Helen. Where theyd taken her in as their own, Helen had never even asked who her daughter was marrying.
Ill come to the wedding, I promisebut right now I need a break. Im off to Greece.
Oh Greece I bet its beautiful. Oliver goes there now and then for businesshe only left for meetings yesterday, in fact
With the wedding only days away, Emily was run ragged. There was still so much to sort out, and Olivers work had unexpectedly called him away. Her mother stopped getting in touch altogether, and Emily wasnt sure what to think.
But she did know one thingOliver would be overjoyed when he learned he was going to be a father. It hadnt exactly been planned before the wedding, but with the big day so close, no one would think it was a shotgun situation.
Finally, Oliver returned.
Well, at last! I was starting to think youd fallen for some Greek girl and changed your mind about marrying me.
What? Dont be silly, loveyou know I dont do flings.
He was stretching the truth, of course. There had been something, a brief affair Like a fireworkexplosive and fleeting.
Those days would haunt me.
Then, just before the wedding, a woman appeared.
Emily stood there, unable to make sense of it all.
What secrets are there? Im pregnant with Olivers child. I told him ages ago, asked him to let you know
Come again? Youre having my husbands baby? Is this a joke?
Do I look like Im joking? We met in Greece and spent a few passionate nights together. Then, during your wedding run-up, he came back Oliver, tell her how good it was with us!
Get out! Both of you. I never want to see you again.
Emily, Im so sorry. It was a mistake.
The real mistake was marrying someone capable of so much betrayal.
I filed for divorce and never forgave Oliver for what hed done. My relationship with Mum faded away completely.
I moved back to my childhood village to live with Grandad and Gran. There, I carried my baby boy safely to term, and gave birth, surrounded by love.
I heard nothing from Helen or Oliver and, honestly, I didnt want to.
A month after my son was born, I got a call from the hospital in Manchester:
Hello, are you Helen Wilkinsons daughter?
Yes, is something wrong?
Im afraid your mother passed away during childbirth. A little girl was born. We wondered if youd want to take her in. Are you there? Otherwise, well have to arrange for her care
I Ill come. Please, dont do anything until I arrive.
I brought the baby home. I just couldnt abandon her.
Oliver wouldnt have taken the childhe still blamed Helen for everything. I thought they were both to blame, and, in the end, children should never suffer for their parents mistakes.
Children are a gifttheyre my happiness. And you can never have too much happiness. Thats something Ill never forget.
