Six months ago, my friend Emily was ditched by her husband, and I did my best to support her through the upheaval. Over the past month, however, she seemed oddly distant and not particularly bothered about keeping in touch. Worried she might be moping about all alone, I decided it was time for a visitjust to see how she was getting on.
When I turned up, Emily greeted me with all the enthusiasm of a damp rag and sported the sort of face that wouldnt have looked out of place at a wake. She was busy rustling up something in the kitchen, so I tried to lighten the mood by telling her how marvellous whatever she was making smelled. She murmured a hurried thanks and disappeared again, muttering about something burning on the hob.
While I was sitting in her living room, my husband rang to say hed be stuck at work again tonighta sentence so familiar these days I could practically hear it in my sleep. Right around the same time, Emily stopped confiding in me about her private life, which was strange considering she used to keep me in the loop about absolutely everything.
Then, just after Id finished chatting with my husband, Emilys phone started ringing next to me. I glanced down and, to my amazement, saw my own husbands name flashing on the screen. Without thinking, I picked upand sure enough, it was him. He addressed Emily in a voice far more affectionate than Id heard from him in years, purring that he missed her and would be coming round soon.
Thats when the penny dropped. My supposedly devastated friend Emily had been having it off with my husband right under my nose. Overwhelmed by a cocktail of shock and indignation, I grabbed my bag and left. As dreadful as it was, I felt an odd sense of reliefas if someone had finally snatched the worlds heaviest shopping bags from my aching arms. I realised I no longer had to put up with a feckless husband who barely worked, made even less money, and happily relied on me to keep him in socks and sandwiches.
Later, I couldnt resist keeping tabs to see how long Emily would actually last with him. Amazingly, she managed a whole six months before finally booting him out. He genuinely thought Id take him back, bless him. But I showed him the door, properly this time.
Now, Im living my best lifeno more dead weight, no more drama, and certainly no more lazy husbands who cant even boil an egg. Freedom and good riddance!
