Youre not really my husband, Charlie
The old lady sat beside her husbands bed, dabbing his feverish forehead with a damp flannel.
Charlie, theres something Ive wanted to confess all these years, but never had the nerve. I deceived you, Charlieyoure not actually my husband!
The old man blinked up at her, stunned.
Dont interrupt me, or we might part ways forever and Ill never get this off my chest. Remember the time you wandered into our village after the war? I was gobsmacked at first, then threw my arms around you. You looked so much like my husband! Id got a telegram saying hed died, but then you turned upaliveand I thought, They mustve mixed up the paperwork, hes back! So I jumped on you, then realised my mistake. I blushed and apologised, of course, but let you sleep in the barn.
You went to fix the barn door next morning, and a beam came crashing down and nearly flattened you. Honestly, I thought Id have to bury you too! But you were breathing, so I called the doctor. He said you must be a tough old boot, walked away with barely a scratch, though your memory was a bit shaken. Thats when I decided to say you were my husband. Seemed sensibleyou were strong, and I couldnt raise two children alone after the war. I told you, and you believed me. My conscience ate away at me, but by then wed settled in, grown fond of each other, and I didnt want to stir the pot. Only now, after decades, do I admitI made decisions for you. Who knows, maybe your life would’ve turned out completely different
Charlie stared at her for a minute then burst out laughing.
You daft old bat! Why would I want a different life? Ive loved you from the start. Its trueI wandered into your village by accident, but when I saw you, I fell head over heels. Didnt know how to approach you, so I thought Id help out round the house, maybe youd notice me. Then that flipping beam walloped me on the head and everything went fuzzy. When I came round, there was the doctor, and you fussing over me. I asked him to tell you I had a touch of amnesiajust so I could stay a bit longer. Then you claimed I was your husband. Not gonna lieI was thrilled I didnt have to make up anything!
You crafty old fox, the old lady grinned. Couldnt you have said something sooner? We couldve had a right laugh about it!
I tried, honestly! But we were always busyraising the older kids, then three more together, her husband chuckled, twirling his moustache. Turns out our big secrets werent really secrets at all.
At least its all settled now, she said, otherwise the guardian angels would be doubled over with laughter at our story! And Charlie, dont you dare pop your clogs and leave meI couldnt manage on my own.
Oh, stop fussing, he soothed her. Itll all be fine. Enough sitting by me, go on to bed. Mornings wiser than evening.
They settled down to sleep, but she tossed and turnedher mind racing with anxious thoughts, keeping her from rest. She woke at the crack of dawn. Her husbands side was empty. Her heart sank.
She peeked outside, and there he was, perched on the doorstep, having a smoke. She breathed out, relieved. The Grim Reaper had walked right past their door this time, so they’d live to creak and groan another day together.
