A HEART BEATS AGAIN
Eleanor gave birth to her daughter, Grace, and never quite knew by whom. It could be said she had a slip before the bonds of marriage. There was, to be fair, a young man pursuing her attentions with some enthusiasm, though he never once hinted at asking for her hand. He was, admittedly, breathtakingly handsome and carried himself with a charm that won over even the most sceptical.
Eleanor would walk arm-in-arm with her beau, head held high, past the group of pensionersthe sunflowers, as everyone called themclustered along the benches outside her block of flats in Norwich. These old dears would always turn their heads in unison, following each passer-by, just as sunflowers do the sun.
Her young man, however, didnt work. He preferred to drift through life, as care-free as a butterfly. Eleanor cooked for him, cared for him, and let him sleep beside her; she was ready to lay herself out for him, like a bright, patterned rug before his feet. Then, one day, he declared he was dreadfully bored with her; she didnt value him enough as a woman, and, besides, if she truly loved him, she could at least take him to Brighton for a holiday at her expense.
Eleanor wept for a week. Then she tore up his photographs and tossed them into the fireplace. She mourned a month in solitude until, on a harried morning when she was late for work, she met Victor.
That particular morning, standing anxiously at the bus stop, a black cab pulled up beside her. The driver swung open the door and offered her a lift. Eleanor, not one to dither, climbed in. On the way, the cabbie, a middle-aged, well-groomed man, started up a conversation. Eleanor couldnt help but notice the neatness of his suit and the subtle scent of clean linen. He exuded a quiet gallantry, the kind you could only imagine was the result of a caring mothers influence.
Victor, as he introduced himself, was the very opposite of her former lover. Without hesitation, Eleanor gave him her number, wishing for the acquaintance to continue. It was the only time she ever rode in a taxi for free.
Soon after, the pair began to see each other properly. Victor showered Eleanor with flowers and gifts, doted upon her, and filled her life with tenderness.
One spring day, as they wandered through the woods on the outskirts of town, Eleanor began gathering bluebells. Victor, seeing her joy, joined in. The bounty was abundant. Eleanor sat in the car with her small bouquet, while Victor carefully placed his own, far larger, collection on the back seat. A pang of doubt struck Eleanor: For his wife? She didnt dare put the question to him. What if he were married? In six months, she had grown so used to Victors attentive ways. Eleanor chose sweet self-deception and let the matter rest.
Yet not long after, Victors wife arrived at Eleanors flat, flanked by two small children.
Well, love, you might as well look after these two. They do adore their father, after all, she said, pointedly.
Eleanor, caught entirely off guard, managed only a quiet, Im sorry, I had no idea Victor was married. Ive no intention of breaking up your family. I will not build a nest under another womans eaves.
That very evening, Eleanor ended things with the married man.
Her next suitor was William.
He hailed from Wales and his romance with Eleanor was swifta whirlwind that swept through her life and vanished just as quickly. They had met at the birthday party of a mutual friend. William, with his broad-hearted nature, generosity, and overwhelming optimism, captivated her. With him, there was no time to brood; his calendar was always crowded with events, and his laughter seemed to banish every trivial worry.
For one glorious year, William made Eleanor the centre of his world. Then, compelled by family ties or a longing for his homeland, he returned to Cardiff. Perhaps the English climate didnt suit him; perhaps his ailing mother called him home.
Eleanor, feeling cast aside and unwanted, decided shed endured enough heartache. I shall live alone, thenno more tears, she resolved.
It was only after Eleanor resigned herself to the fate of an independent woman that she discovered a new life was beginning beneath her heart. The news left her stunned. Who could the father be? How would she survive? How could she keep her wits?
In time, a baby girl arrived. Eleanor named her Grace. For Eleanor, Grace became the very meaning of life. The child reminded her so much of William, with the same curls, dark eyes, and irresistible smile. It warmed Eleanors soul, perhaps because she had loved William as shed loved no other. Watching Grace, Eleanor would recall those carefree days spent laughing with William.
Of course, at times, Eleanor was nearly overcome by despair and jealousy of her married friends, but raising Grace took all her time. There was simply no room for tears.
When September came, Grace started at St. Marys Primary. She was seated beside a boy named Daniel. Grace took an instant dislike to him, and he promptly called her a silly curly-head. Hostility blossomed at once; the teacher had to separate them, though even so, they managed to quarrel and scuffle during playtime.
Eleanor paid a visit to the school when Grace came home scratched and upset. The teacher, apologetic, gave Eleanor Daniels address, suggesting she take up the matter with the boys family.
Without delay, Eleanor went to the provided address.
A young man answered the door, wiping his hands on a tea towel slung over his shoulder.
Can I help you? Please, come in. Ill make you a cuppa, once Ive fed my rascal in the kitchen, he said, bustling away.
Eleanor stepped inside the cluttered sitting roommens things scattered everywhere, sour with lingering tobacco smokeclearly, no womans touch had softened the place.
Well then… thought Eleanor.
The host reappeared with a tray and two cups of fragrant coffeean aroma Eleanor would remember always.
What brings such a lovely lady to my door? he inquired pleasantly.
Im Graces mother, Eleanor began.
Ah, the man smiled knowingly, my Daniel has quite the crush on your daughter.
So thats why she comes home scratched? Eleanor pressed.
Hmm? Im not sure what you mean, the man replied, clearly perplexed.
Ill thank you to have a word with your son. Thank you for the coffee, Eleanor declared, gathering herself to leave.
I certainly will, he said, reassuring her.
The rascal sat quietly in the kitchen while Eleanor left, returning home deep in thought. That night she could not sleep. Something about Daniels fathersuch an unmistakably homely manhad touched her. And that coffee! Not a single suitor had ever served her coffee. Spirits and wine, yes, in abundance, but not a simple, sincere cup of coffee. She found herself wondering about his family.
In her thoughts, Eleanor tidied up the little flat, aired it out, arranged furniture, and saw flowers blooming on the sill. Oddly enough, she found herself imagining ruffling Daniels hair affectionately.
The next morning, Eleanor told Grace not to quarrel with Daniel at school; to be kinder to him, instead.
The weeks went by.
Then, at a school meeting, Eleanor met the man again. There she discovered that Daniels mother was absent, explaining why his father attended in her stead. This led Eleanor to act more boldly.
Daniels fatherwho introduced himself as Edwardoffered, after the meeting one dark December evening, to escort Eleanor and Grace home. She quickly accepted.
Pleased to meet you, Edward, she smiled, matching his warm handshake.
Apparently, Edward found Eleanor equally charming. He even suggested they see in the New Year together. Eleanor, after seven lonely years, decided she had nothing to risk. Princes, she had long ceased to await. Why fear boiling water forever after burning your lips on milk? she thought.
Later, Edward told Eleanor that hed long been divorced, and his former wife had married his best friend. Edward had kept his son.
Edward had not guessed how deeply he would ache for a womans touch, nor how Daniel would miss having a mother. He confessed his love to Eleanor, declaring he hadnt stopped thinking of her since their first meeting. He saw in her not only a loving wife but a devoted mother for his boy.
Eleanor and Grace moved in with Edward, but first, the adults asked the childrens consent. Grace and Daniel, reluctant at first, nodded.
Life began to whirl by in a contented muddle. Edward, overjoyed, seemed to move mountains for his new family. They bought a spacious flat in Cambridge. Eleanor poured herself into home and children. Grace and Daniel grew up surrounded by love. Eleanor cared for Daniel as her own, and Edward adored Grace, treating his girls with gentle devotion.
Time passed, and the children grewuntil, of all things, Grace and Daniel married. Eleanor and Edward gave their blessing for the unexpected match. The young couple headed off to Paris for their honeymoon, and Eleanor suggested to Edward that they take a seaside holiday.
Edward hesitated. Eleanor, why not buy yourself something nice with the money instead?
She insisted. Oh, Edward, at last we could actually be together alone! Just once, lets breathe free.
Edward conceded, and the couple spent a week in the picturesque town of Whitby by the sea. It was seven days of cloudless happinessEdward gave flowers, poured out compliments, and confessed his boundless love.
On the morning of their departure, Edward and Eleanor walked to the shore to bid goodbye to the sea. It was early morning and they were alone. Edward kissed her softly and said, with unusual solemnity, Eleanor, I love you very much. Truly.
Ill just have one last swim, he said, smiling.
Eleanor never saw him again.
Edward drowned that morning. The lifeguards could not find his body, though the sea was as calm as glass.
Eleanor returned home alone, her mind in a daze. The sudden and senseless loss of Edward changed her life forever. Why did it have to be him? Why, at fifty-five, did she become a widow? Why did she never say she loved him just as madly, then and there? Clearly, Edward had been saying farewell that last morning. She hadnt understood.
There were so many whys, whispered to the sky.
Eleanor retreated into herself. She grew to loathe the sea. The world lost all colour. Nothing could give her comfortshe did not even have a grave to visit, as Edward was never found.
Eleanors heart was torn asunder. She wanted only to stop breathingto burn seven times over rather than be widowed once, she thought bitterly. People say time healsit doesnt. Time simply muffles the ache, the depthless longing for someone so dear. Unearthed memories bite with the same old pain, and memory will not release its hold, but revives the sorrow again and again.
Years later, Eleanor held hands with her two grandchildrenKate and Maxas the family strolled through an autumn park in Oxford. They had made it a tradition to stop by the local café; the children would have ice cream while Eleanor ordered herself a cup of strong, fragrant coffeethat same aroma from so many years ago. The scent spun her head and, for a moment, she felt Edward near, watching over her, knowing all about his Eleanor
After everything, having survived unconsolable grief and accepted her fate with humility, Eleanor would bless her fortune for bringing Edward into her life; for twenty-five years of true happiness that she had been granted as a wife.
Life may end, but love does not.
