How am I supposed to go on without you? What do I do now? Whats the point in carrying on? Silent tears run down his cheeks, and all he can feel inside is a numbing emptinessa great gaping hole where his heart once was.
Edward has loved Alice since they were children at school. Petite and slight, with a dusting of ginger freckles across her nosethats how he first saw her, and even as an awkward boy in year six, he fell completely in love.
Alice was three years younger than Edward. She was always the top of her class, reserved, modest, and gentle.
Each year, Edward found himself drawn more to her. He would watch her in the playground during break, skipping rope with her friends, as light on her feet as a butterfly. He found himself wishing that one day, theyd surely be married.
After Edward returned from national service, he went straight to Alices door that very day with a bunch of wildflowers, ready to ask for her hand.
Alices father was a stern and serious man, but once hed spoken to Edward in private, he finally broke into a smile and took Edwards hand, formally giving him Alices.
Their wedding was a lively affair, teeming with guests. Even distant cousins travelled down. For three days, family and friends toasted the couple. Alices eyes sparkled with happiness and Edwards chest swelled with pride. He was certain he had married the prettiest bride in the village.
Within two years, with help from both families, Edward managed to build a little house. Alice was over the moonthey moved in three months before expecting their first child. Family life began.
They had a daughter and named her Lucy, after Alices grandmother. She was a strong and healthy baby, but the birth left Alice utterly drained.
For an entire year after Lucys arrival, Alice was pale and seemed to have no energy. Edward took her to every doctor they could think of, but the answer was always the same: she needed time, her body would recover eventually.
When Lucy was only a year and a half old, Alice found out she was pregnant again. The doctors recommended she terminate the pregnancy, certain she was simply too weak. If she even survived, the baby might not.
Edward pleaded with her, alongside the doctors, but Alice stood her ground.
I wont give up my own child! Its not their fault for wanting to come into the world, Alice insisted, What will be, will beleave it in Gods hands!
The final month was especially hard. Alice was kept in hospital, and back at home, a lonely little Lucy waited, and Edward found no peace.
He sensed something awful looming. And his fears proved well-founded. Alices heart simply gave out during childbirth. But the world was briefly blessed with beautiful twin girls.
Edwards sorrow was bottomless. At the funeral, he stared blankly at the dark mound of earth, haunted by memories of their life together, her smile, her laughter still ringing in his ears.
He fell to his knees, howling with griefa cry more animal than human.
How will I manage without you now? What am I to do? How do I go on? The tears flow, the emptiness inside him now palpable.
After the funeral, Edward drowned himself in drink. He drank to blackout, desperate to escape the memories, the sound of her laughter echoing in his mind.
Alices parents took the girls in. They believed Edward, broken by grief, could no longer care for the children.
On the fortieth day since her passing, Edward, having drunk himself senseless again, dozed off in the porch. He dreams. Alice comes into the house, dressed in a white summer frock, her auburn curls glowing golden in the morning sun.
She comes up to him, gently strokes his hair, and in that old, tender way, whispers:
Edward, my dear, what do you think youre doing? Arent you ashamed? She narrows her bright green eyes, wagging a finger at him.
The girls are missing their father. Youre needed just as much as I was. If you love me, then dont abandon our daughterslove them as you loved me.
He wakes as if sobered by the dream, sunlight warming his cheek through the window.
The moment the sun is fully up, Edward makes his way to Alices parents house, clean-shaven and smartly dresseda world of wisdom in his gaze, as if hes aged fifty years overnight.
He silently kisses his mother-in-laws hand, hugs Alices father, gathers his daughters, and takes them back home.
From then on they live as a family of four. Edward tries his best to be both mother and father. He learns to cook, to mend clothes, and to plait hairsoon hes braiding better than most mums. At school, the girls do well and behave impeccably.
If anyone ever upset them, Edward was fiercely protective.
Neighbours would often ask, Why havent you married again? Youre still young, a fine man, and youve your health. Plenty of women look at you hopefully!
He would look at them in amazement, replying,
Im already married.
LookIve three brides at home already. If I brought in one more, I couldnt handle it, four would be too much!
With this kind of banter, sleepless nights, meagre suppers, and endless hard work, Edward raised his precious girls into fine young women.
When the girls were in their final years at school, a neighbour took to visiting Edward. Sometimes shed bring dried mushrooms, other times pickled herring, looking for every reason to be near him.
Edward soon realised shed never stop, yet he didnt want to hurt her feelings. One evening, he invited her in and asked:
Which of my daughters do you love most?
She promptly replied, Its not your daughters I want! Theyll soon finish school and move away. Do you mean to live alone forever? I love younot them!
Edward simply handed her his photograph. Take my portrait then, and love me at home as much as you like.
The neighbour left, crestfallen, clutching his photo.
The girls grew up and went away to university, but never forgot their father. Every weekend, all three would return to help with the house and the garden.
And then, in time, each of Edwards girls was married. He made sure to have a private word with every prospective son-in-law, just as Alices father had with him. Above all, he wished his three princesses only happiness.
And now, the girls are grown, each with her own family, children, and responsibilities. Yet none of them ever forget their father!
Come weekends or holidays, whole families still gather, heading back to the village to see Edward. Hes adoredby daughters, grandchildren, and now his first tiny great-grandson.
On Edwards eighty-first birthday, he dreams again.
He stands in a field, young and strong, black hair swept back, shoulders broad. Before him, his Alice is runningbarefoot in a white frock, sunlight caught in her hair, shimmering as if it wants to take flight.
He stretches his arms wide, his heart pounding and trembling as if it might burst. They meet, embrace, and Alice raises her sparkling eyes to his and says softly,
Edward, my dear, you did so well! You gave our girls a truly happy life. I saw it all. I prayed for you every day, she murmurs, taking his hand gently.
Come on, now. Its time for us to be together at last.
Hand in hand, they walk together through the thick, lush green grass.
All the family comes to pay their respects to Edward. His daughters grieve deeply, struggling to say goodbye, but every one of them understandshes finally with the woman he loved all his life.
This is a true storythe life of a good man, a remarkable father. My own grandmother told it to me.
Everyone in the village knew him. Sometimes, a man chooses not for himself, but for the happiness of his beloved daughters. May his memory be cherished.
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