The Grown-Ups Exam
Hazel, why arent you coming out for celebratory drinks with us? grinned Michael, adding a quick wink for good measure.
Because, my dear friend, I have a date tonight, Hazel replied, cheeks tinged pink.
Well, this is a plot twist! Michael exclaimed. Hed known Hazel for five years. She was a single mum and hadnt seemed interested in dating at all. Odd, but perhaps hed just not noticed. Or maybe hed been too self-absorbed. Alright then, we wont keep you. Hope it goes brilliantly, he said, before herding the remaining colleagues. Right, shall we?
Definitely.
Lets get a move on!
Im parched! came the responses, as the team shuffled off towards the nearest pub.
Michael smiled and tried to chat with his mates, but somewhere deep inside, a pang of jealousy took root. Not that he had any right to be jealous; nothing ever happened between him and Hazel. Their relationship was strictly professional, with a side order of friendship.
Strange business, this, he thought.
* * *
That day, Michael arrived home much later than usual. To his immediate ambushthe children charged, shrieking, Dads home! Dads home! And then, his wife steamed into the hallway.
Mike, finally!
She hugged him and pecked his cheek.
We managed to build a magnificent ship in the park while you were off on some endless errand, Katie announced, grinning at him.
I was earning actual money, just so you know, he muttered. Besides, Im perfectly within my rights to work late when I fancy.
Of course, you are, Katie conceded, raising an eyebrow.
And Id appreciate it if you didnt interrogate me when I walk in the door, he added, still sulking.
If youd asked Michael why he was so curt, he wouldnt have known what to say. He genuinely didnt know.
Mike, has something bitten you? Katie asked, still smiling, not missing a beat.
And suddenly Michael realisedhe was being childish and mean, purely because he wanted to wipe the smile off her face as he was feeling dreadful himself.
No. Just shattered. Please warm up whatevers for dinner, he tried to say it neutrally, but once Katie glided off to the kitchen, he slumped onto the boot bench, head in hands.
What on earth am I doing? he wondered, horrified.
* * *
A few days later, Michael was over it. He decided his earlier outburst had simply been frustration that Hazel hadnt joined the project celebrations.
There was a fresh project now, so he buried himself in work.
* * *
Hazel, I think youll need to stay a bit late today, he mentioned one afternoon. I need those figures.
Sorry, Im heading to Mums tonight, Hazel said with a shake of her head. Its important. But Ill come in early tomorrow and get it sorted, promise.
Fine, Michael nodded. Deal.
Truth be told, he was annoyed. How could anything be more important than the project? Wasnt everyone supposed to live for their job like he did?
Is your mum unwell? Michael pried.
Yeah, something like that, Hazel murmured, eyes dropping.
Alright, he agreed. Family emergencies were a valid reason in his book.
But then it turned out Hazels mum was absolutely fine. In fact, Hazel had spun a story so Michael wouldnt guilt her into working late.
What do you mean, shes not actually going to her mums? Michael blinked when his nosey colleagues filled him in.
Oh, shes going, said Olivia, returning from the window and beckoning him over. But shes not alonelook whos meeting her!
Standing beside Olivia, Michael watched as Hazel left the office. A young man strode toward her. They joined hands and strolled off to his car together before driving away.
Right then, jealousy swept over Michael like an icy tidal wave.
Oh, blimey. She really *has* met someone, he thought.
Well! Michael tried to sound casual, We finish at six, so everyones free to disappear as they wish.
He slumped at his desk, attemptingentirely unsuccessfullyto focus on emails and spreadsheets.
* * *
Time went by. Michael grew nervier by the day, unable to make sense of his own chaos. It started as mild anxietyhed see Hazels name ping up in the chat, or overhear her laugh, and his heart would rattle about like a tin can. The same feeling hed had ages ago, when dating his future wife.
Good grief, am I falling for Hazel? he mused, half-amused, half-terrified. At forty, with a lovely family, he ought to have been impervious to such nonsense. He still loved Katieor did he? These days it was more mutual respect and warm familiarity than the old high-voltage passion. Maybe its like that for everyone eventually.
His worries grew louder. He started noticing new odditiesstraightening up when Hazel walked in, hoping shed notice him first. Jumping into conversations. Asking for her opinion far more than necessary. Then replaying every word and look afterwards, convinced there was some hidden meaning in their small talk.
One day, a shocking thought struck him: What if Id met her earlierbefore kids?
It hit him like cold water: yes, he would have left. Not immediately, but hed have found an excuse, reasoned it out, and gone. Left his house, his comfortsall for a shot at being with her.
Guilt crashed over him, fast and fierce. He gazed at the family photo propped on his deskKatie, the children, their last beach holiday. All smiles. Everything good and proper. So why did it feel as if he was living someone elses story?
He couldnt explain it. Why now, after three perfectly professional years with Hazel, did he find himself obsessed? Why couldnt he just stop thinking?
Inside, his world was crumbling. The constants hed trusted now felt flaky. He wasnt planning to betray anyone. He didnt want to lose his family. He just couldnt turn off his feelings.
* * *
One morning, Michael woke before dawn, his bedroom shadowy except for a sliver of bluish light peeking through the curtains. He stared at the ceiling.
Hazel still occupied his thoughts, even in the safety of home. Deep inside, she was a stubborn splinter he couldnt dislodge.
He replayed yesterday; Hazel had left early, hand-in-hand with her new flame. Each time she did that, a little piece of him snapped.
Im losing myself, he thought. If I dont cut this out, Ill lose everything. Ill grow distant, angrya stranger to my kids, to Katie, eventually to myself. Ill despise the person I become. If I wait too long, itll be too late.
He got up, got dressed, made himself coffee, and leaned by the window. Outside, the street was deserted, drizzly, and dreary. And there, Michael made up his mind.
* * *
What dyou mean, youre transferring to another department? Michaels team crowded around himeven Hazel looked surprised.
Its just how things have panned out. They need me to troubleshoot over there, he announced.
Just temporarily, yeah?
Of course, just for a bit, he nodded, knowing full well that temporary often turns permanent.
Hed considered quitting altogether, but that would have been recklesshe was well thought-of in the company, the salary was decent, and opportunities for advancement abounded.
So he asked for a transfer, even if only for a few months. It would help him break the cycleevery smile or throwaway comment from Hazel had become torture.
He didnt want to become a tragic middle-aged cliché, blowing up his life for a fleeting feeling. He wanted to be the sort of person who made tough choices and stood by them. He believed the ache would fade in time.
That evening, he told Katie, I want to spend more time with you and the kids. Im done being chained to the office.
She gave him an uncertain look. Really?
Yes. I feel like Im missing out on you all. On everything.
She didnt reply but gave him a small, knowing smile. And it struck himhow familiar, how right that smile felt.
He started taking the kids to the park, bringing them home from school, showing up at school events hed previously groaned about. He talked with Katie about more than chores: about his day, his thoughts, even his worries. And, finally, he remembered to ask about hers.
Occasionally, he wondered, Why didnt I do this before? Why did I ever think it was a chore rather than an opportunity to really know the woman beside me?
Hazel crept into his thoughts now and then, but less and less. Whenever he did see her at work, the flicker of longing was just thata flicker. Not pain. Not jealousy. Just a quiet reminder that hed made his choice, and he was grateful for it.
* * *
Mike! Michael!
He was in the shopping centre, navigating his way to the toy shop, when he heard a familiar voice.
He turnedand there she was. Hazel.
Mike! Where have you been hiding? Wed all given up hope of your return, you know. Its been a whole year!
Michael grinned. It felt good to see her, but there was no ache inside him now.
Hello, Hazel. Lovely to see you!
How are you? she asked.
Im well. Noactually, Im great, he replied, surprised as he realised it was true.
Why never come back to us? she pressed. You were the best manager we ever had.
Just fancied a bit of a change, he shrugged. And you?
Me? Her smile widened. I got married. Hes a wonderful blokesolid, true. My daughter likes him, even.
Michael nodded. No trace of jealousy, just a mild sense of seeing an old friendchanged, but still familiar.
Im so pleased for you, he said sincerely.
They stood chatting about office gossip and mutual mates. Neither suggested coffee. Both understood: this was the end, or maybe the beginning of something elsejust not for them.
After saying goodbye, Michael finished his errands, bought a present, and, sitting in his car, realised that the old feelings were gone at last. No longing, no urge to start over. Just relief.
He looked ahead. At the traffic lights, at people bustling across the street, adults shepherding kids in all directions. For the first time in ages, he felt he was exactly where he ought to be.
Not in some ideal fairy tale, but in his own real, flawed, muddly life. And that was just fine.
* * *
Hazel and Katie, these days, saw each other regularlyturns out their gym routines had crossed paths. One afternoon, chatting while hovering by the treadmills, Katie asked, So, how did your chat with Michael go?
Hazel shrugged. Non-event. He wished me happiness, and that was it. Looks like you won, she teased. Your husband really is a remarkable guy, she added.
I know, Katie replied, with the hint of a sly smile. I always have.Always. But sometimes people forget what they already have, until the world nudges them to remember.
Hazel laughed, rolling her eyes. Well, heres to grown-ups learning things the hard way.
Katie glanced over, warmth in her voice. Maybe thats the only way anyone really learns. We muddle through, get lost, and find our way back.
They jogged quietly, side by side, matching strides. Outside, the rain had stopped; sunlight streaked through passing clouds, scattering brightness across the gym windows.
Later, Michael met Katie and the kids for dinner. They passed stories back and forth, laughter zigzagging across the table, the simple comforts of an ordinary evening wrapping around him like a favorite coat.
He caught Katies eye. For a moment their gazes heldunspoken understanding, all that had been said and unsaid, the shared relief of weathering yet another storm together.
Life, he thought, was not about grand passions that threatened to sweep you away. It was about second chances, the gentle dailiness of forgiveness, learning to see anew what had been in front of you all along.
He reached for Katies hand beneath the table, gave it a gentle squeeze. She squeezed back. It was enough.
And as they walked out under the streetlights, their children skipping ahead, Michael felt something steady and whole open up inside hima quiet, unshakeable knowing that, in the exam of being grown-up, maybe the real victory was choosing, over and over, to stay.
