My daughter married an Englishman and I lived with them for two years, helping look after my grandson and keeping the house in order.
Both my daughter and her husband worked at the same company, coming home in the evenings. I had hopes of staying with them for good, but it turned out those hopes were misplaced. One day, my son-in-law told me that they no longer needed my help and kindly asked me to move out. A month later, I was back home. Sadly, I soon discovered I wasnt particularly welcome there either. While Id been living with my daughter, my son had split up with his first wife, left her flat, and moved back into mine.
He brought along his second wife, who was already expecting a baby. It never even crossed his mind to ask for my blessing about that.
What am I supposed to do now? Should I ask my son and his pregnant wife to move out? Of course not. But how are threesoon to be fourof us meant to fit ourselves into a one-bedroom flat? Neither my son nor I have the money to rent anything else. I phoned my daughter and explained everything, hoping shed understand and maybe offer to help. She never rang back. It hurts, but theres nothing I can doshe has her own way of thinking now.
I suppose I cant really blame my son; he never expected Id return. Now Im sleeping on the sofa bed in the kitchen. During the day, I get out of the flat as much as possible. I do the shopping, pop by my old workplace, and chat with friends from years gone by. My son and I get on well enoughnot a single rowbut my daughter-in-law completely ignores me. Its clear she isnt pleased Im there.
I never imagined that at sixty Id be surplus to requirements, sitting in my own home where someone else calls the shots. My son only seems to care about his pregnant wife, and our housing troubles dont seem to cross his mind.
Ive started looking for a part-time job. My daughter-in-laws family live out in the countryside. Perhaps I could suggest that she go stay with her parents? But then, would my son be able to find work in some village? Unlikely. I simply cant decide what to do
If theres anything Ive learnt, its that even when you give everything to your children, life can still take a turn where you end up feeling unnecessary in your own home. Maybe its time for me to think of myself for once and carve out a bit of independence, however late it might be.
