I’m truly glad I chose not to have children. Now, at seventy years old, I have absolutely no regrets about that decision.
Just recently, I had a dermatology appointment and found myself sitting in the waiting room for my turn. Next to me sat a woman, and we struck up a conversation. She turned out to be a delightful companion, and rather fascinatingly, our little chat altered my perspective on quite a few things.
One of the first things I noticed about her was how remarkably well put-together and elegant she looked. My first guess was that she couldn’t have been older than fifty. Yet, as we chatted, she confessed to being well into her seventies. Honestly, I never would have believed it; she looked fantastic and was worlds apart from most people her age.
From our conversation I learnt that shed been married twice, but now lives on her own. She split from her first husband when she was quite young. Shed always been clear that she didnt want children.
Her husband was aware from the start about her wish for a child-free marriage, but after her thirtieth birthday, he started hinting that a proper family should have kids. Despite that, she never felt any motherly urge, and her decision stood firm as the years passed.
In the end, it was easier for her to divorce than to go against her wishes and have a child. They spoke honestly, and eventually decided to go their separate ways.
The second time around, she married a man who was divorced and already had a child from his first marriage. He didnt want any more children either. That worked out rather well for them, seeing as the topic of having children never came up at all. In fact, he was pleased with her attitude. Sadly, their time together was cut short when her husband died in a car accident.
She told me quite frankly that living alone doesnt bother her in the slightest. On the contrary, she feels content that she doesnt need to accommodate anyone else. Shes firmly convinced shell never regret her choice.
Her friends, who once thought their children would look after them, now sigh with disappointment. Their children have their own lives and little interest in ageing parents. That, she said, was precisely why she decided against having children shed never banked on it and never even entertained the idea. Now she enjoys a full life, cherishing every moment. The absence of children gives her freedom and happiness, not a sense of loss.
The old saying, Wholl bring you a glass of water when youre old? doesnt worry her. I wont be left hungry or helpless, she told me. While my friends spent their money raising children, I saved mine. Now my nest egg is more than enough for whatever care Ill ever need.
Looking back on our conversation, I cant help but reflect on how content she seemed. I suppose the lesson, for me, is that leading a satisfying life doesnt have to follow any particular script we each chart our own course, and sometimes, happiness comes from making choices that suit us, no matter what anyone else might think.
