How could she?! Didnt even ask! Didnt talk to me about it! Honestly, to wake up one day and find someone marching around your flat, acting like they own the place no respect at all! Lord, what have I done to deserve this? Ive spent my whole life looking after her, and this is the thanks I get! She doesnt even see me as a person! Jane brushed away the tears that had crept down her cheeks. Apparently, she just doesnt like my way of life! She ought to take a look at her own, sitting in that little one-bedroom flat, thinking shes found happiness. No decent husband, no proper job just working from home, doing who knows what. How does she even get by? And yet she’s the one trying to teach me about life! Ive long forgotten the things shes just starting to learn!
That last thought got me out of the armchair. I wandered into the kitchen, put the kettle on, and walked to the window. Staring at the view of London in all its Christmas glory, sparkling with festive lights, I started crying again.
Everyones gearing up for the New Year, and yet, for me, its just another night… utterly alone.
The kettle whistled, but I barely noticed, lost in memories.
I was twenty when Mum, at the grand age of forty-five, had my little sister.
I remember being surprised why would Mum want that at her age?
I dont want you to ever be completely alone, shed explained. Sisters are a blessing. One day, youll understand.
I understand well enough now, Id said flatly at the time. But dont expect me to look after her. Ive got my own life.
Its not just your life any more, Mum had smiled.
Those words turned out to be prophetic. My sister was only three when we lost Mum… Dad had passed away even earlier.
All responsibility for Alice fell to me. I essentially became her mum. For years, she even called me Mum.
I never married. It wasnt Alices faultjust that nobody ever came along who could sweep me off my feet. Not that I would have noticedmy life was work, home, Alice; work, home, Alice…
Losing our parents forced me to grow up overnight. My whole life revolved around Alice I raised her, made sure she got a proper education.
Now Alice is all grown up, living on her own, getting ready to get married. She pops round often were close, for all that were different in age, personality, and outlook.
Take me: Im overly thrifty. My flat has become a storeroom of old things. Somewhere in the wardrobe, theres a dressing gown from ten years ago when I was a good stone lighter. And receipts for rent from the early 2000s.
The kitchen is full of cracked mugs, chipped enamel pots, and frying pans without handles. I havent used them in years but cant bring myself to throw them out just in case they come in handy.
Not to mention, the décor hasnt been touched for ages. Not because I cant afford it, but because the wallpapers still hanging on. Years of scrimping for Alice have left their mark.
Alice is the opposite: cheerful, spontaneous, and a true minimalist. Her home is tidy with no hoardingjust the essentials.
Shes got a rule: if she doesnt use something in a year, out it goes!
So, Alices flat always feels fresh, light, and easy to breathe in.
Shes offered again and again:
Come on, Jane, lets give your place a makeover. And have a clearoutyoure going to run out of space at this rate.
Im not throwing anything out and Im not changing a thing, Id reply. I dont want a makeover.
But honestly, Jane, just look at your hallway! Those textured wallpapers are ancient! Its like stepping into a cellar. And all this clutterfeels suffocating. All it does is drain your energyyoull get ill keeping things like this! Alice would try to persuade me.
But I always brushed her off.
So, Alice decided to take things into her own hands. Shed do up my hallway herselfa surprise makeover, so Id see the difference for myself.
There’s hardly any furniture in the hallway, just a few odds and ends, so she picked that room. A week before New Years, while I was on a night shift (my rota always had me coming home at funny hours), Alice and her fiancé, Tom, turned up with a roll of fresh wallpaper. They stripped away my gloomy old paper and replaced it with light green wallpaper patterned with golden designs.
They put everything back in its placeAlice wouldnt dare move my things around too muchand slipped away.
When I got home, I almost walked straight back out, thinking Id got the wrong flat.
Checked the door number twice.
All correct…
I went back in and took it all in.
Alice.
How dare she?!
I rang hergave her a piece of my mind and hung up.
Half an hour later, Alice turned up at my door.
Who asked you to do this?! I barked as she walked in.
Jane, it was meant as a surprise! Just look how bright and tidy it is now, she tried to explain.
Dont you dare take over my home! I couldnt stop myself.
The words came tumbling out.
Finally, shed had enough:
Thats it. You can live in your own dump if you wantI wont set foot here again!
What, cant stand the truth? Running off, are you?
I just feel sorry for you, Alice replied quietly, and left.
She didnt call for a week. Wed never gone so long without speaking, and the New Year was just around the corner. Were we really going to ring it in alone?
I sat down on the little stool in my hallway.
Actually, it was brighter in here, I realised. I pictured Alice and Tom putting up the wallpaper, taking care to get every crease out, picturing my shocked face. Why had I been so furious? It really was betterlighter, happier. Perhaps Alice was right…
Suddenly, my phone rang.
Jane, Alices voice was shakyshe was crying. Im so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to make you happy…
Oh, love, Im not angry anymore, I sniffed myself, overwhelmed by it all. And youve nothing to forgiveyou’re completely right. The wallpapers wonderful. After the holidays, well start tackling all the clutterif youre up for it, that is.
Of course I am! she laughed through the tears. Id love to help! But for tonight? Please, I cant imagine seeing in the New Year without you…
Nor can I…
Then start getting ready, Alice was suddenly herself again. Were all set over here fresh Christmas tree, fairy lights, candleseverything you love. And stop worrying, theres nothing left to shop for, Ive sorted it all. I knew, right up until the last minute, that wed make up and spend New Year together. Take your time, Tom will pop by to give you a lift.
I went to the window one more time. London still glistened beneath the night sky, but now I saw the city through new eyes.
And I found myself thinking, Thank you, Mum for my sister.
If theres anything this year has taught me, its that family isnt about what you keep, but who you keep close.
