“I never invited any guests!” The daughter-in-law’s voice snapped, fraying at the ends. “I didnt invite you at all!”
Michael stood in the cramped kitchen, intently whisking together a sauce for the evenings pasta. In his left hand, a sturdy whisk; in his right, a well-thumbed recipe book propped open. Fixed upon his face was that particular look of determined kitchen concentration that comes to men who rarely cookbut try hard to get it right.
The apartment was thick with the scent of garlic, tomatoes, and fresh basil, mingling with the faint perfume of melting beeswax from the candles Emily had dotted about the sitting room.
“I think Im getting the hang of it,” he called over his shoulder to his wife, who was slicing cheddar for the salad. “At least it hasnt gone lumpy.”
Emily smiled at him, eyes warm. Her chestnut hair was lazily twisted atop her head, and the soft light of the overhead lamp danced in her blue-grey eyes.
“Youre the most talented man I know,” Emily said, stepping over to hug his waist. “It smells amazing. Just like that little place in Bath.”
“Thats the goal. Just picture it: silence, gentle music, a candlelit dinnerno phone calls, no visitors, just you and I.”
They had both longed for this plan, to celebrate her birthday in peace. After the constant bustle and whirlwind of relations coming and going, they dreamed of a night just for themselves.
Emily had picked up their favourite bottle of English sparkling wine in advance. Michael left work early to cook everything himself.
Once theyd finished setting dishes on the table and carried nibbles into the lounge, Emily set some mellow music playing.
“Happy birthday, dearest,” Michael lifted his glass. “Let this year bring you only happiness and calm.”
“Thank you, love,” she replied, clinking her glass with his.
The wine was crisp, tinged with apples and toast. She closed her eyes, soaking in this rare, perfect moment. Emily had craved it for weeks.
Then, with a splintering shriek, the buzzer cut the bliss, echoing sharp through the flats hallway. Michael frowned.
“Who could that be? Were not expecting anyone.”
Emily shrugged, but dread skittered down her spine, cold and distinct. Michael stepped to the intercom.
“Hello?” he asked tentatively.
A voice boomed so loud it seemed to fill every dusty corner.
“Michael, its us! Open upweve brought treats! Here to wish the birthday girl well!”
Michaels face drained of colour. He shot a panicked look at Emily.
“Mum?” he whispered. “What on earth?”
“Well of course! Here to see my lovely daughter-in-law on her special daylet us in, its blowing a gale out here!”
Michael pressed the entry button in silence. The room fell heavy, the way a storm presses down before it breaks.
“Your mum? Now?” Emily whispered, her words trembling.
“I…she said shed only ring…”
Before either could move, there came a booming, impatient knockingknocking that sounded less like visiting guests, and more like people claiming their territory.
Michael drew a deep breath and answered the door. There stood Janet, his mothera sturdy woman with cropped hair and lipstick as red as a pillar box.
She was bundled in a voluminous tartan shawl, clutching a colossal, misted-up Tupperware box.
“Finally! We were freezing out therelike stray pups!” she declared, bustling into the corridor, shaking raindrops onto the mat.
Thats when Emily and Michael saw the rest. Behind Janet, a whole cavalcade squeezed inside: Uncle Charles, Janets brotherenormous and beaming in a tracksuit, hauling a crate of Robinsons squash; Charless wife, Auntie Marythin, fidgety, balancing an enormous cake box like a shield; their twenty-year-old daughter, Sophie, already glued to her phone; and two little ones, close in age, shrieking as they hurtled into the flats nooks and crannies.
“Mum, what is this?” Michael managed.
“Whats the harm?” Janet retorted, flinging her coat onto the rack, somehow using up three hooks at once. “Were family! Wanted to surprise Emily! All for you, love!” She handed the oversized container to her daughter-in-law. “Homemade brawnfor Michael.”
Emily accepted it numbly.
“Thank you, Mrs. Turner,” she murmured. “But we… we werent expecting…”
“Were not guests, dear! Were your lot!” Janet thundered, already drifting toward the sitting room. “Blimeycandles! How romantic.”
Auntie Mary deposited the cake box onto the table with a flourish, elbowing aside Emilys vase of daffodils and their wine glasses to make room.
“Emily, happy birthday!” Mary called. “Baked it myselfa proper Black Forest, just like my mum did it. Try a slice!”
The children darted about the flat, screeching, playing a lopsided game of tag. One nearly toppled a floor vase, and Emily lunged to catch it.
Her pulse hammered. Michael, recovering, tried to corral the chaos.
“Well, since youre all here, make yourselves comfy. Emily, should we spread things out in the kitchen?”
But Janet had already decided.
“No need for that! Its nice in hereCharles, move the table; Mary, fetch the plates; Sophie, dont just gawp at your phonecome lend a hand.”
Sophie shuffled off to the kitchen without glancing up. The fragile spell of the evening was shattered.
Ten minutes later, the table was sagging beneath all the food brought from home: brawn, pickled herring, potato salad, gherkins, and Auntie Marys towering Black Forest cake.
“So then, birthday girl, tell ushows life treating you?” Janet settled herself on the sofa, peering at Emily like a teacher at exam time. “Still at the same job? Boss still impossible?”
“Its fine, thanks,” Emily replied softly, picking at her salad.
“Our Sophie still cant find anything,” Janet rattled on, ignoring Emilys answer. “Studied all those years, now nothing to show. Maybe you could get her something at your firm? Shes a bright one, our Sophie.”
Emily could only nod, shrinking inward. Michael hunched beside her, answering Uncle Charless questions about the football, his weariness and frustration barely concealed.
Michael kept shooting apologetic glances at Emily, knowing he was powerless. The children, fuelled by cake, dashed away to play again.
The youngerHarrynoticed the crystal animal collection Emily had spent years building along the bookshelves.
“Mum! Look at all these shiny things!” he cried.
“Be careful, Harrytheyre fragile,” Emily called, but too late.
The boy reached for a delicate swan. There was a sharp, metallic crackand suddenly, shards of crystal were strewn everywhere.
Utter quiet fell. Even the music had ended, and the only sound was the faint hiss of candle flames.
“Oh, blimey!” Auntie Mary gasped. “Harry, love, what have you done? I told you not to touch!”
“Come on now, no need to fuss,” Janet brushed it off. “Just glass ornaments, nothing special. Will sweep it up. Kids dont mean any harm.”
Emily looked up at her coldly.
“That was my grandmothers gift,” she said quietly, with precision. “Shes gone now.”
“Well, yes, may she rest in peace, of course, but the living come first,” Janet persisted. “If youre having people over, best to keep delicate things out of reach.”
That was it. Emily shot up, her chair skidding back across the floorboards.
“But I didnt invite anyone!” Her voice finally broke free. “I didnt ask you to come! Michael and I wanted to be alone tonight. Its my birthdaynot a family invasion!”
A hush blanketed the room. Even the children paused, sensing the change in the air.
Uncle Charles stared at his plate, Auntie Marys mouth hung open. Janet flushed crimson.
“Is that so?” she said, ice creeping into her tone. “We come here with presents, set the table, and you want us gone? Im not allowed in my own sons house?”
“Enough, Mum,” Michael rose, his own patience torn to shreds. “Emilys right. We planned an evening just for us. You cant just barge in unannounced, bringing half of Yorkshire along.”
“Barge in?” Janets voice hit a pitch. “Its barging, now? After all Ive done for youraising you single-handed, killing myself for youand now, just because youve got a wife, Im not welcome?”
“Its not about Emily! Its about respecting our space, and what wed planned!”
A loud, pointless quarrel erupted. Janet listed grievances, Michael pleaded for understanding, the others sat in humiliation.
Emily soon couldnt bear it. She silently left the sitting room.
Muffled echoes of the argument seeped through the wall; somehow softer, yet no less painful.
She wasnt sure how long she waitedten, maybe twenty minutes. Eventually, the shouting dwindled into a thick, heavy stillness.
She heard shuffling, low voices, the scrape of closing doors.
Finally, the bedroom door inched open. Michael, utterly spent, filled the doorway.
“Theyve gone,” he said quietly. “Emily, I should have just turned off the buzzer…”
“But you didnt,” Emily replied flatly. “You should have stopped her from coming in.”
“Shes my mum. She meant well…”
“For whom?” Emily stared at him, eyes blazing. “Herself? To prove she runs the show? She ruined everything, Michael!”
“What could I dothrow her out? Shed make a scene…”
“And this wasnt a scene?” Emily paced. “She always decides for uswhat to eat, where to go, how to live! And you always let her…”
Emily looked from the window. Down on the street, she saw Janet and the family piling into their car, blotting away through the drizzle. A sense of crisis faded, but she knew betterthis was only a pause.
“I dont know how to go on, Michael,” she whispered. “I cant live in fear that your mother will crash in here with her casseroles and orders, any time she likes.”
“Ill talk to her. Really talk, this time. Shell have to understand…”
“Youve said that beforenothing ever changes.”
The evening theyd imaginedidyllic and quietnever really happened at all.
“Im sorry,” Michael said again. “Happy birthday, darling.”
Emily shut her eyes, feeling suddenly three times her age. She was thirty-three. She felt sixty.
“Shall we try to celebrate still?” Michael offered, eyes hopeful. “Theres plenty left to eat…”
“Im not in any mood,” Emily answered, voice hollow. “Im exhaustedI just want to sleep.”
She left for the bathroom, desperate to wash the whole night away and sink into bed, to dream that tomorrow might be a day without forceful mothers-in-law or their well-meaning siege.
Janet, after the row, nursed her offence. She truly could not fathom what harm she might have done that night.












