Life, Like the Moon: Sometimes Full, Sometimes Waning I Thought Our Marriage Was as Eternal as the Universe—Until It All Fell Apart We Met as Med Students, Married Young, and Embarked on a Golden Life Thanks to My In-Laws, Only to Have It All Shatter Overnight After Ten Years of Luxury, a Knock at the Door Changed Everything: My Husband’s Young Lover, Pregnant, Stood on the Threshold Abandoned, Forced to Move from a Spacious Flat to a Diggy Bedsit, I Lost My Husband—and, Slowly, My Sons, Too Alone, I Struggled to Rebuild: Surviving Heartbreak, Raising Myself Up Again, Rediscovering Life, Odd Romances—And Eventually Remarrying a Flawed Man I Fought to Save Now Grown, My Sons Remain Unmarried—Shaped by the Turmoil They Witnessed And My Ex? Three Marriages Later, He’s Lost Everything He Once Had Just as My Grandmother Said: Life Is Like the Moon—Sometimes Bright and Glorious, Sometimes Just a Crescent in the Dark

Author Mitsuko NagasakiReading 8 minViews 1

LIFE, LIKE THE MOON: SOMETIMES WHOLE, SOMETIMES WANING

I once thought our marriage was as unshakeable and eternal as the universe itself. How naïve I was

I met my future wife at medical school. We were both students in Oxford, and by our fifth year we married. My mother-in-law, Barbara, as a wedding present, handed us tickets to Spain and the keys to a new flat in London. And that was just the start.

Once married, we immediately moved into a spacious three-bedroom flat. Barbara and her husband helped us endlesslyannually sending us all over Europe, footing the bill cheerfully. Emily and I were young, happy, with everything ahead of us. Emily was a virologist, and I became a GP. Work, heal, loveour life was simple in its happiness. Our sons were born: Daniel and Charles.

Now, years later, I can see those were the halcyon days of my lifeeach year swept by like a full, lively river. I can honestly say I lived in luxury throughout our ten years together. It all collapsed overnight.

One day, the doorbell rang. I opened it to find a pretty, somewhat troubled young woman standing there.

Can I help you? I asked, calmly.

Are you Emilys husband? If so, Im here for you, the stranger said, hesitantly. May I come in?

Of course, I replied, curiosity piqued.

Looking at her closely, I could see she was slightly pregnant.

My names Daisy. Im ashamed to admit it, but I love your wifeEmily. And Emily loves me. Were having a child together, she blurted out.

Well thats a surprise. Is that all? I felt anger bubbling.

No, Daisy said, fishing a small velvet box from her coat. Please take this.

Inside was a gold ring.

Whats this for? Trying to buy off my family? Emilys not for sale! Take it back! The anger in my chest started to crackle.

I mean no harm. I know you and your sons will suffer. My mum always used to say, Fall in love with a married woman, and youll wreck your life. But I cant imagine life without Emily. Please, just take the ringfor my peace of mind, Daisy pleaded, now openly sobbing.

For a moment, I pitied her. Who, though, pities me? Shed stolen my happiness, and still my heart softened Then, with sudden clarity, I pressed the box back into her hand, pushed her out the door, and locked it. From that very moment, life nosedived.

Barbara called: Emily was leaving us. She came over herself, hands trembling, requesting I pack up all Emilys things. I pointed silently at the wardrobe, reeling in disbelief as she calmly bundled Emilys life into the suitcase shed brought.

Look, well always be family, no matter what, Barbara said briskly. But Emily and Daisytheyll snuggle wherever they land, like lost lambs!

In six months, Daisy gave birth to a daughter. Later, I heard through the grapevine that Emily had adopted Daisys child from her first marriage too. Yet, during all that time, Emily didnt visit Daniel or Charlesnot once. Every so often, Barbara would hand over a pittance of child support, tiny amounts of sterling that barely counted.

These were the ’90s. Back then, I ended up in hospital with a breakdown. Barbara took in our boys, lavishing them with affectionand sweets. Once discharged, I dashed to her flat for my sons, only for them to refuse to come home with me. Grandma makes the best dinners, never tells us off, and theres pudding every night! They were rightI had nothing to offer.

Barbara, hugging my sons, tried to reassure me: Let them stay with us for now. You need to sort out downsizing the flatits a lot for one person. A one-bedroom will do nicely, yes?

With nothing to say, I trudged home alone, bitter and empty. First my wife, now my children. I had to give up the family flat, exchanging it for a minuscule bedsit. The place was a dump: peeling wallpaper, ancient plumbing, warped wooden floorboards.

Daniel and Charles stayed with their grandmother. I was only allowed to see them on major holidays. Please, dont disrupt the boys peacetheyve been through enough, Barbara would sigh. Focus on your own happiness.

My sons drifted away bit by bit, an invisible thread between us slowly snapping. At times, I wanted to curl up in the corner of my icy little room and disappear. I lost all zest for life.

My own grandmother used to say, Life is like the moonsometimes its full, sometimes its nothing but a sliver. I realised it couldnt go on like that, or Id lose my mind. I needed to do somethingsomething reckless, something mad. I was tired of being the good boy everyone trampled on. After all, Id finished medical school with top honours.

Work sent me to a medical conference in Paris. There I met a young woman, Rosalind, an English radiologist. To this day, Im not sure how we understood each other so perfectly. Words seemed unnecessary. We had a whirlwind affair.

After ten days, I had to return homereluctantly. That brief fling with Rosalind brought me back to life. My eyes shone again. Later, there were other flings and goodbyes. Nothing seriousjust short-lived dalliances.

Barbara once remarked, You look well, John! Like the first flush of spring.

Still, I was on my own. When my best mate Lydia moved to Athens for good, she invited me over one last time. Lydia was single and child-free.

Im marrying a Greek chap. Im sick of British drunks. All I want is to finally live a proper life, she confided, close to tears.

Why cry? Youre starting freshlife begins at forty! I tried to console her, not getting her sorrow.

Tell you what, John! My old friend Alex knows nothing. Meet himmaybe youll hit it off. Take him off my hands! Hes yours, Lydia said, gesturing expansively.

Well, if fate deals you the chance, best to seize it. Thats how Alex became my lawful husband. He had one flaw, thoughone that overshadowed everything else. For all his virtues, Alex drank like a fish. But love is strange even the devil can seem charming if youre lonely enough. I couldnt imagine life without this hopeless drunk. And so it began

Detox, rehab, endless tears. All in vain. I stuck by him, though. Alex, half-embarrassed, sometimes muttered, John, you want me sober, but Im not sure I do.

Yet, it never crossed my mind to leave Alex. I told myself, Better patchwork than none at all. Bitter loneliness had worn me down. I stubbornly decided to fight for my man, just as Daisy had once battled for Emily. Seven years went by

But Alex turned things around. He found work as a driver at a London hospitals morgue. The daily sights changed himslow, contemplative, but for once, sober. I was finally happy, though it might sound inappropriate. At last, I had a model husband! He came home quiet and thoughtful, and most importantly, sober.

Lydia, popping over from Athens now and then, could hardly believe it. Alex isnt drinking? I dont believe you!

Id reply, laughing, No refunds, no exchanges!

My sons grew up. Now theyre in their thirties, both still unmarried. After their chaotic childhood, theyve never wanted to settle down, though theyve tried. I fear grandchildren are a long way off, if ever.

As for Emily, her second wife Daisy drank herself into oblivion, and their daughter now raises a child alone. Emily, ever the romantic, married againa nurse from her surgery, this time. Before the wedding, she cautiously asked our sons, Would your father want to start over?

I replied, quick as a flash: Only when pigs fly! Meaning, never.

Looking back, life is like the moon: sometimes whole, sometimes dark and empty. But no matter its shape, you have to keep moving, even when the lights thin.

The Choice “Turns out, Feddy is very much married…” sighed Susan, perched on a park bench with a referral slip for the hospital tightly gripped in her pocket. Her flatmates back at the halls envied her when they saw her with that dashing, clean-shaven, blue-eyed dark-haired gent, thinking she’d hit the jackpot with such a charming man. But, as it turns out, there was nothing to envy. Susan shivered, recalling the first and only time she met Feddy’s wife – who’d waited for her outside the factory gates to set the record straight. “Hello there! You must be Susan!” the woman began. “And you are?” Susan asked, startled and tense from the tall, slim woman’s piercing, ashy-blonde gaze. “I’m Olivia – Feddy Myles’ wife.” “What?” “You heard me!” “Another naïve girl,” Olivia said calmly. “How many of you are out there, chasing after someone else’s happiness?” “How dare you?” “Listen,” Olivia said, gently gripping Susan’s elbow. “You should be asking yourself the same question. I, his legal wife, have seen you with my husband – and now you’re acting haughty instead of apologising or feeling any shame… But maybe that’s not in your nature. He’s had more of your lot than I can count on my fingers and toes. Getting involved with a married man is shameless.” “He’s a man, a hunter, you see? For him, you’re just a brief fling. He’ll move on soon enough. Keep away from him. By the way, we have two daughters – I can show you a family photo.” Olivia produced a cherished snap, handing it to the stunned Susan. “Here. Proof of true love. This was us in Brighton just two months ago…” “Well, what do you want from me? Sort things with your husband yourself.” “Don’t worry, I will! He only started at this factory recently and, lo and behold, then you turn up. Walk away, won’t you? Don’t fall for his promises – Feddy isn’t about to get divorced. Don’t waste your time. What’s your age – thirty?” “Twenty-five,” Susan retorted, wounded. “Even more reason. There’s still plenty of time for you to get married and have a family. Leave Feddy be.” Susan listened no longer. She walked away on shaky legs, her dreams suddenly eclipsed by the arrival of her lover’s wife. “Betrayer…” she muttered, choking back her tears – she wouldn’t let the world see her pain, not on the street and not in front of her workmates. That evening, Feddy showed up at Susan’s with flowers as if nothing had happened. She kicked him out, swollen-eyed, unswayed by his vows of everlasting love and talk of an impending divorce, after his wife’s revelation changed everything. For two weeks, Susan was left reeling. Feddy didn’t pester her again and acted as though he’d never met her, averting his gaze whenever they crossed paths. Misery never comes alone… At first, Susan blamed her morning sickness and dizzy spells on nerves, but soon reality struck – her all-consuming, naive affair with Feddy had left consequences. “Six weeks,” sounded like a sentence. Susan couldn’t bear the thought of being a single mum. She was terrified, convinced everyone else knew – and now she faced their silent judgement for trusting a man she barely knew, who’d hidden his family all along. What could she have done? Ask for ID on the first date? He wore no ring. Some married men don’t. She should have been suspicious when he insisted they keep their relationship secret at work, but love blinded her until his betrayal became the talk of the office, especially after Olivia’s visit. “I’m pregnant,” she finally confided to her former lover at lunch, desperation pushing her forward. “I’ll give you money, but deal with it,” he grunted. Next day, Feddy resigned, vanishing from her life forever. Susan knew she couldn’t delay forever. Ignoring the doctor’s warnings, she took the referral for the ‘operation’ and found herself gripping that slip on a park bench, terrified to let go. “In a hurry?” said a young man in a sharp suit, plopping down beside her with an enormous bouquet of burgundy chrysanthemums. “Sorry?” she looked up with hollow eyes. “Your watch is fast,” he said, nodding at the gold watch on her wrist. “Oh, it’s always ten minutes ahead,” she replied wearily, turning away. “I keep resetting it, but it’s hopeless.” “The weather’s wonderful today, isn’t it? Real Indian summer. My mum loves this time of year. She always says she made the right choice on a day like this – and never once regretted it. You know,” the stranger chattered on, “My mum’s truly something – I owe her everything.” “What about your dad?” Susan found herself asking. “She never talks about him, and I’ve learnt not to ask. She’s better off without him, I think…” “I just came from a job interview actually. Imagine, they picked me out of ten applicants for a top position – and I’ve barely any experience! It still feels unreal. My mum’s the one who gave me the confidence I needed. My first paycheque will get her a holiday by the sea – she’s never been.” “Have you?” “No.” Susan studied the candid lad, noting his burgundy tie. “Gift from mum,” he said proudly, stroking it. “Sorry – I’m rambling. But you seemed so sad, I just wanted to share my joy.” Susan shook her head – he didn’t annoy her at all. In fact, he’d stopped her downward spiral, and his love for his mother was touching. “What devotion!” she thought. “His mum’s so lucky… I wish I had a son like him…” “Well, I’d better be off – my mum’s waiting and worrying. Don’t rush, though!” “Pardon?” “I meant your watch,” he grinned. “Oh,” she smiled softly in return. A minute later, he was gone. Susan tore up her referral slip in tiny pieces and lingered on the bench, breathing in the crisp autumn air, warmth and light finally returning to her heart. She wasn’t alone after all. Some women raise and nurture wonderful sons single-handedly. A pity she hadn’t asked the lad’s name – but it didn’t matter any more. She’d made her choice. *** Twenty-three years later… “Mum, I’m going to be late,” Stan said, standing at the mirror as his mother carefully knotted the new burgundy tie she’d bought him for an important interview. “Maybe forget about the tie…” “It gives confidence, trust me. You’ll be amazing, they’ll definitely hire you!” Susan finished neatening his collar and stepped back to admire her grown boy. “I’m nervous – what if…?” “This job’s meant for you. Just answer their questions clearly and don’t forget to smile. You’ll be irresistible.” “Okay, Mum,” Stan kissed her cheek and hurried out the door. Susan watched him go, her heart swelling as her dearest strode off to catch the bus. Suddenly, a shock ran through her – she’d seen this before… That young man in the park, more than twenty years ago… Stan in his business suit looked just like him now… How had she forgotten that day for so many years? But now, the memory pulsed with life again. Was it really fate, giving her a glimpse of the future she’d almost thrown away? Showing her – literally – the child she might have lost, steering her onto the right path? She never did learn his mother’s name, nor asked his name, but now – it didn’t matter. Everything turned out just as it should. That afternoon, Stan came home beaming, with a huge bunch of burgundy chrysanthemums to match his tie, announcing he’d got the job. He promised they’d finally go to the seaside, since his mum had never been. Now it was time for him to take care of her, and he’d move mountains to make her happy. No matter what life threw at them, Susan always found comfort in her son’s embrace. They survived it all, and her brave choice had given her a life she’d never regret. Just as it was meant to be!

The Choice “Turns out Fred really is well and truly married…” sighed Sue, sitting on a park bench and clutching the hospital referral note deep in her pocket. Her flatmates back at the halls envied her when they saw her with her tall, clean-shaven, blue-eyed, dark-haired companion, thinking she’d lucked out with such a charming gent. But there was nothing to envy, really. Sue shuddered, remembering her first and last meeting with Fred’s wife, who had caught her at the factory gates to spell out how things stood. “Well, hello there! You must be Susan?” she began. “And you are?” Sue tensed under the piercing gaze of the tall, slender woman with ash-blonde hair. “I’m Olivia—Fred Mason’s wife.” “What?” “You heard me!” “Yet another naïve girl,” the woman said calmly. “How many of you are out there—never ending, chasing after someone else’s happiness.” “How dare you?” “Listen,” Olivia gingerly took her rival by the elbow, “how dare you? I’m the legal wife. I saw you with my husband, and you’re still acting up, instead of apologising and feeling some proper shame—although, I suppose that’s something only decent people do, which doesn’t seem to be you. “There have been so many like you, I couldn’t count them all on my fingers and toes. “You’ve tangled with a married man—shameless! He’s a man, a hunter, you know? But to him, you’re just a fleeting adventure. He’ll tire of you before you know it. Best keep your distance. “By the way, we have two daughters—I could show you a family photo.” Olivia pulled out a photograph and handed it to a stunned Sue. “There. Proof of real, honest love. Us in Blackpool, just two months ago… “So? Why are you silent?” “What do you want from me? Sort out your husband yourself.” “Oh, I will—don’t worry! He only started at the factory recently, it pays well, and now, you’ve turned up to make things worse. “Let it go, for your own good. Don’t fall for Fred’s promises—he’s got no intention of getting a divorce. Don’t waste your time. How old are you, thirty?” “Twenty-five!” Sue retorted indignantly. “Well, then. You’ve got time to find someone else and start a family. Leave Fred be.” Sue listened no longer—she stumbled away from Olivia, whose sudden arrival had shattered her happy world and erased her hopeful dreams in a heartbeat. “Traitor…” Sue muttered, a lump in her throat, determined not to let her emotions spill out in public. She didn’t want workplace gossip. That evening, Fred turned up as if nothing had happened, flowers in hand. Crying and red-eyed, Sue threw him out, despite his eternal promises and claims he and his wife hadn’t loved each other for years. For two weeks, Sue recovered in silence. Fred left her alone, behaving at work as though she didn’t exist. But as they say, trouble never comes alone. When Sue started feeling sick in the mornings, she told herself it was stress. Soon, though, she realised her naive, passionate romance with Fred had left consequences. “Six weeks,” the doctor said—a sentence rather than a diagnosis. Sue didn’t want to be a single mum. She was frightened. She felt like everyone was judging her, all because she had trusted a man who turned out to be a stranger. Fred had hidden his marriage. What was she supposed to do, ask for his passport when they first met? He’d worn no wedding ring, though not all married men do. Why didn’t she question it when he said to keep their relationship secret at work? He had tricked her—and knowing she’d been deceived offered no comfort. The office now buzzed with gossip about “the wife’s visit”. “I’m pregnant,” Sue managed to tell her former lover one lunchtime, desperate. “I’ll give you the money—just sort it,” he muttered, and the next day Fred quit and vanished for good. Sue knew she couldn’t delay. Despite every warning from her doctor, she took the hospital referral for “the procedure”. And so, she sat on a bench, clutching that note as if it might vanish. “In a hurry?” asked a young man in a business suit, plopping himself down next to Sue, an enormous bunch of crimson chrysanthemums in his arms. “Sorry?” she replied, her eyes hollow. “Your watch is a bit fast,” he pointed––indicating her gold wristwatch. “My watches are always ten minutes ahead… I try to fix them, but it never works,” she replied, turning away. “Lovely weather though, isn’t it? Real Indian summer! My mum loves this time of year—she says she made her best life decision on a warm autumn day like this, and never regretted it. Did you know—” he bubbled on, a happy stranger, “—my mum’s like that!” He flashed a thumbs-up. “I’m so grateful to her.” “And your dad?” Sue asked before thinking. “Mum never told me about him, and I don’t ask. She doesn’t like talking about him.” Then, with a bright smile: “I just came from an interview—can you believe, they chose me from ten candidates! The only one they picked, even though I’ve hardly got any experience. Feels almost unreal… “It was Mum that gave me confidence. “I already know what I’ll do with my first pay packet—send Mum to the seaside. She’s never seen the sea. Have you?” “No,” Sue replied, curiously watching the cheerful, talkative chap, her eyes catching his burgundy tie. “A present from my mum,” he explained, smoothing the tie with pride. “Sorry if I’m going on—I just had to share my happiness, and you looked so sad… I thought maybe you needed someone to talk to. Am I bothering you?” Sue shook her head silently. Strangely, the stranger didn’t annoy her—he’d managed to halt her cycle of grim thoughts. His devotion to his mother was something she deeply respected. “What loyalty!” she thought, watching him intently. “His mum is so lucky… Wish I could have a son like him someday…” “Well, I’d better go. Mum’s waiting and she’ll worry. But don’t rush—” “What was that?” she asked. “I meant your watch,” he smiled. “Oh.” She smiled back. A moment later, he’d vanished, and Sue, finally releasing her grip on the crumpled hospital note, tore it into tiny pieces. She sat for a long while, breathing in the autumn air, feeling unexpectedly warm and light. She was not alone. Some women raise wonderful sons on their own. Pity she hadn’t asked his name… but perhaps that didn’t matter. The choice was made. *** Twenty-three years later… “Mum, I’m running late!” Stas called from the mirror. Mum was carefully tying his new burgundy tie—for his own big job interview. “You could just go without, you know.” “It’s for confidence, Mum! Trust me, everything’ll be fine. They’ll take me for sure… That’s it!” Susan finished the tie and stepped back to admire her son. “I’m nervous, what if…” “It’s your job, I can feel it. Just answer clearly, remember to smile. You look fantastic.” “Thanks, Mum.” Stas kissed her cheek and hurried out. Susan watched her only son enthusiastically stride towards the bus stop. Suddenly, she froze, jolted as if by electricity… She’d seen this all before. That lad in the park, more than twenty years ago… Her Stas, suited up, looked just like him. How could she have forgotten that day for so long? Now it all came alive in her memory. Was it fate, she wondered, letting her see with her own eyes whom she almost let go—(such a horrible word)—giving her the chance to make the right choice, guiding her down the right path? Why hadn’t she asked his name, since they were about the same age, or his mother’s name? But now, maybe that didn’t matter. Everything turned out wonderfully. After lunch, Stas came home with an armful of burgundy chrysanthemums—the shade of his tie—and told Susan he’d got the job. He promised they’d finally go to the seaside together. She’d never seen the sea, after all. Now it was time for him to look after the mum he loved more than anything. He would move mountains, turn rivers for her—such was Susan’s son. Whatever life had thrown at them, Susan had never, ever regretted having him. She had made the right choice. And so it was meant to be.