Youre better off than the rest of us, so your presents should reflect that, snapped the mother-in-law, her voice echoing through the living room.
It was a chilly evening in London when Richard sank onto the sofa beside his wife, Charlotte.
What on earth are we getting your mother this year? Im completely stumped, he admitted, brow furrowed.
Charlotte let out a long sigh. Finding a suitable gift for her mother-in-law had always been an uphill battle.
Relations with Margaret Taylor had been tense from the outset.
Richard had immediately sensed his mothers cool distance, so the couple had decided to keep interactions minimal.
No one owed the other anything. Conversation was limited to the odd phone call and family gatheringsonly if both sides bothered to show up.
This year, Margaret had decided to mark her seventieth with a grand affair and had invited nearly the entire extended family, including the young couple.
Oh, by the way, Mum said shes happy with anything we bring, Richard suddenly remembered.
She always says that, and then pulls that sour face, Charlotte replied, frowning. Your sister can give her whatever she likes, but we never get away with it!
Charlotte recalled all too well the look of disappointment that accompanied every present theyd ever given Margaret.
Remember last Mothers Day? We gave her that fancy skincare set. How did she react? Tears, and then turned it into a dig that we think shes old and past it, Charlotte sighed. What have we ever given her that shes liked? Jewellery or electronicsbecause she can put a price to them right away.
Maybe Ill just call her and ask outright, Richard suggested hesitantly.
Do as you wish, Charlotte replied, shaking her head.
Richard dialled his mothers number, hoping desperately for some hint, anything to end the gift-giving agony.
Oh son, I want for nothing. Your company is gift enough, Margaret assured him meekly.
Really, Mum? You wont be cross with us? Richard probed, not convinced.
Of course not! Im grateful for every little thing, she said with a bright laugh, and so Richard decided to take her at her word.
Mum says anything is fine, Richard reported to his wife.
Charlotte surveyed her husband with doubt. She had little faith in Margarets promise.
But Richard insisted on making their own choice, and Charlotte, though wary, gave in.
I think we ought to get her a robot vacuum cleaner, spare her wrestling with the hoover across the house, Charlotte suggested, after going over their finances.
That settled it. They bought Margaret Taylor a gift worth over a thousand pounds and headed to the party with lighter spirits.
The birthday girl greeted her son and Charlotte warmly, but her face instantly clouded over as she spied the vacuum box.
Whats that? she muttered with a sigh. Just put it in the back room, love.
Charlotte stood frozen for a moment, stung by Margarets blatant lack of enthusiasm.
Soon after, Richards sister Helen and her husband entered, Helen flinging her arms around her mothers neck.
Mum, this is for you! she sang.
Thank you, darling! Youre simply wonderful! Margaret gushed, enveloping her daughter in a hug.
Charlotte was curiouswhat precious gift did Helen offer to deserve such excitement?
To her amazement, it was a simple toiletry set from Boots, barely worth ten pounds.
Charlotte glanced questioningly at Richard, who had also clocked what his sister brought.
The look on Richards face said it all: he was seething over his mothers response.
Hours passed, Richard biting his tongue, but when Margaret praised Helens gift yet again, he couldnt contain himself.
Mum, can we have a word? Richard called her aside.
What is it? she asked, following him out. Is something wrong?
Yes, Mum! Do you remember what you told me about the gift? Richard pressed, a hint of accusation in his voice.
Yes, I do.
So why did you turn your nose up at ours, but beam over a cheap set like that? Richard asked, wounded. Dont say Im imagining things.
I wont. You and Charlotte are more comfortable than Helen, so your presents should be accordingly special, Margaret grumbled.
What would you have us do then? Richard demanded, forehead creased. Go cheap? Would you rather we included the receipt so you know the value?
Oh, not this again, Margaret replied, signalling her wish to end the discussion. What can I say? I just prefer Helens gifts.
Is it simply because you dont know what ours cost? Richard asked, sarcasm dripping from his words. Just for your information, it cost over a thousand quid!
That much? Margaret exclaimed, feigning surprise.
But she quickly seized on a way out of the awkward squabble.
You know why I praise Helens familys gifts more? Because they give what they can, but you just tick boxes, Margaret retorted, unexpectedly blunt.
Mum, are you actually being serious? Richard ran a shaky hand through his hair.
Do I look like Im joking? With what you two earn, a spa break would have been more apt, said Margaret, chin held high and proud.
Richard was so taken aback by his mothers words that he gawped speechlessly at her for several seconds.
Do you honestly think Charlotte and I have money growing on trees? he managed at last.
Their raised voices had drawn in Charlotte and Helen, who stood uncertain in the doorway, both startled by the row.
Helen, quicker on the uptake than Charlotte, leapt to their mother’s defence.
Mum never wanted a robot vacuum; she wanted a humidifier. Her old one broke three days ago. If you ever showed any real interest in Mum’s life, youd have known that, Helen rebuked.
I specifically asked about the gift! Richard hissed through clenched teeth. Are you trying to make fools of us? From now on, therell be no presents! We do our best to please you, and all we get is grief! The vacuums wrong, now you want a humidifier. Sorry we dont live up to your expectations. Were done here, he snapped, turning to Charlotte.
Margaret burst into tears as Helen soothed her, while Richard and Charlotte departed, their faces stony with hurt.
Richard kept his promise to his mother. Tired of feeling ridiculed and no longer willing to waste money or time, he decided to skip future family gatherings altogetherforgoing both presents and the drama they brought.
