Why Was This My Fate
With each passing year, Lucy became more certain that she never wanted to live as her mother, Barbara, did. Barbara was still a young woman but looked worn, far beyond her years, all because of her eternally drunk husband Simon.
Lucy was seventeen and had not gone to college after finishing school, worried about leaving her mother alone. She would have run away from home long ago if not for pity for her motherher father, in his rage, could do anything. If she left, who would help her mother, soothe her bruises, or bring her a glass of water?
Tonight, her father returned home drunk once again, collapsing at the kitchen table. Barbara silently set a bowl of soup in front of him, only to see the bowl hurled onto the floor, narrowly missing her.
Im sick of your soup, Simon spat, wild-eyed.
Lucy jumped up to help her mother clear the broken bowl from the floor while her father, lumbering past, kneed Barbara aside. He barked at Lucy:
Up at dawn tomorrow, were going fishing. Well bring back some fish for this old hen so she can make a decent stew for once.
Lucy hoped her father would forget about it, but she awoke to him shaking her.
Get up, or well miss the bite. Best fishing at sunrise.
Lucy hurriedly got dressed, but Barbara appeared at the doorway, holding a fresh pail of milk from the morning milking.
Have you even looked outside? she said to her husband. Theres a storm coming, cant you see the clouds? You cant go out on the river in weather like this.
Barbara set down the pail and blocked Lucys path.
I wont let you go, hell drown you.
But Simon shoved his wife aside. She fell, spilling the milk, and with a sneer, he grabbed Lucy and pushed her out of the house. Lucy saw ominous clouds gathering beyond the roof, and as they got into the boat, the wind picked up. Frightened, Lucy watched as her father rowed into the middle of the rivertowards the deeper waters, where the fish were supposedly better.
The far bank was just ahead when the wind roared and lashing rain began to fall. Fear seized Lucy, and she clung to the boats edge.
My old man always said fishings best in weather like this! her father bellowed, just as the opposite bank came into view.
Simon stood up in the boat, fishing rod in hand, when a mighty gust sent a wave crashing over the side. He lost his balance and went overboard. Lucy saw him thrashing helplessly as waves rolled over him. She tried to reach for an oar to help, but fell in herself as the boat overturned; something slammed into her head and darkness closed in.
Lucy woke in a damp, tiny room, lying on a bed. A heavyset, bearded man entered, cheeks ruddy, breath visible in the chilly air. Lucys breathing was laboured, and she felt too weak to move.
Youre awake at last. Good, the man grunted, stoking the hearth, but Lucy slipped back into unconsciousness, drifting into a dream where she saw a young woman she recognised as her mother.
When she next woke, the bearded man was still there, sitting beside her and spooning something bitter into her mouth. She realisedit was a herbal brew.
Drink up, youll feel better. You must eat, he said.
Time passed before Lucy was able to rise, her legs trembling as she went to the small window. The world outside was deep in autumn. She was wearing a bulky pair of pyjamas and her hair was braided, though the plaits were untidy. She was in some sort of wooden cottage. Feeling hungry, she made her way to another room.
Ah, so youre up. Come on, to the tablehave some bread, the man said, stirring a pot as rich cooking smells filled the air.
Lucy sat, confused and uneasy, as he set a bowl of soup before her and started eating himself.
How did I end up here?
Eat first, talk after…
Not daring to argue, Lucy finished her soup.
You dont remember anything, do you? he asked.
No, she shook her head.
And your namedo you even remember that? She shook her head again.
He gave a crooked smile. So thats how it is. You lose your memory after all Ive done for you. Maybe its the illness. You nearly drowned in the river; I pulled you out.
Lucy couldnt remember a thing, didnt know what to say.
Youre my wife, Valerie. Do you remember that? he persisted.
That cant be, Lucy blurted out, shocked, but she honestly remembered nothing.
Oh yes, it can, he said with an unpleasant smile. Come along to the bedroomIll remind you, pulling her by the arm. Youve been ill for two months, I waited and waited for you to recover.
He dragged Lucy back to the room. She struggled, but he hit her and shoved her onto the bed.
Ungrateful thing. I looked after you, saved your life. Now youll remember who your husband is
Lucy lay limp and defeated as tears slid down her cheeks. Outside, she could hear the whine of a chainsaw. Later, seizing her chance, she snatched a large coat from the rack and slipped out the back, heading for the woods by the river. She spotted his boat with a padlock on the chainthe key, she knew, hung on the wall inside the house. Just as she heard twigs snapping behind her, the bearded man caught up and knocked her down.
He hauled her up by the collar, snarling, Trying to run off, are you? Got your feelings hurt? I was just upset you lost your memory, thats all. Thought you wouldnt make it. Youre not going anywhere. Now, in you gotime to warm up in the bathhouse. Dyou at least remember my name? Im Colin.
In a daze, Lucy followed him home. Nothing came back to her, but she couldnt fight anymore, not after her long illness. She waited and watched for any chance to escape.
Why did I deserve a fate like this? she kept thinking.
Colin loaded her with housework, expected everything spotless, meals hot and tasty, and chores done in the animals shed. The worst of it was when hed force her to his bed, with a hostile grin. If she resisted, he beat her; so she learned to surrender, just to avoid pain.
Time went on. Colin left for fishing, hunting, or took meat and fish to sell in the local town. On those days, Lucy felt a small peace; there was no television, so she read dusty old books. But whenever Colin returned, her fear returned, too.
One day, under the pretense of gathering firewood, Lucy went to the riverside and saw the locked boat. She knew where the key was. Later, when Colin fell asleep after lunch, she took the key, dressed warmly, and darted out the door. She fumbled with the lock, got in the boat and pushed off, just as a bullet whistled over her head. Looking back, she saw Colin with his shotgunhe was a good shot, and she knew it.
Row back, or Ill shoot properly next time, he warned. He fired again, and Lucy turned the boat back.
He pulled her out, punched her to the ground, and hit her until she blacked out. When she woke, she was back in the house.
If you dont behave, Ill lock you up in the shedchain and all. Youll live out there, he threatened before leaving.
A week passed. Lucy felt close to losing her sanity from that miserable life. But she gradually grew stronger, though soon she found herself sick one morning. Colin eyed her suspiciously.
Whats this, are you expecting?
Soon enough, Lucy and Colin both realised she was pregnant. Colin started treating her better, freed her from harder work, and only threatened her, rather than actually striking her. One day he went into town. He always rowed his boat to the far bank and caught the bus from there, always returning the same way, his fishing gear in tow.
Lucy went for a walk along the river, shivering in mid-Novembers cold, with winter on the way. Suddenly, she heard the putter of a motor. A boat approachednot Colin, but another man stepped ashore with bait and fishing rods. When he saw her, he stared in astonishment.
Lucy! Is that really you? he gasped, eyes wide.
You must have me confusedIm Valerie, Lucy replied.
Dont talk nonsense. Ive known you since you were a child! Your mother Barbara buried your father, but when you disappeared, she thought youd drowned too. Shes been beside herself. Im your old neighbour, Uncle Charles. Dont you remember? How did you end up here?
I live here with my husband, Lucy stammered.
I thought nobody lived out herenever seen a soul. Lucy, pleaselet me take you to the other bank, you can tell me everything. If Colin finds out, hell kill me.
All rightplease, lets go, Lucy pleaded, grabbing his hand. As the boat reached the opposite shore, gunshots rang out behind them, and they scrambled up the bank to safety.
Inside the warm cottage Uncle Charles led her to, Lucy saw a familiar womanher mother, just as shed seen her in a dream.
Hello, she whispered.
Lucy, my girl! Barbara enveloped her in a tight hug. Charles, where did you find her?
Tears welled up as Lucy caught fragments of memory. It all came back in a rushher mother and father, and especially the moment her father fell from the boat. She told them about the ordeal with Colin, who had rescued her but then kept her captive.
Mum, if he finds us, hell kill both of us Hes not a man, hes a monster.
Soon, the neighbours, Charless wife Susan among them, hurried in to give support.
Barbara, your daughters rightyou two need to leave at once. Go to my sisters place in the next villageshe lives alone, theres room for you. Charles will drive you there; gather your things.
They piled into Charless old car, and as Lucy and Barbara looked back one last time at their old house, they felt a strange hope take hold as they left for good.
Colin did find their house after a few days, but it was already locked up.
Who are you looking for? Susan asked, appearing in the yard.
Im looking for someonean old friend. Do you know where shes gone? he pressed.
No idea, Susan lied, watching Colins face as he stalked away, unconvinced.
Before long, with Charless help, Barbara sold the house and received the cashpounds sterling in hand. He and Susan helped them buy a tiny cottage in the village, cleaned it up, painted, scrubbed, and even painted the ceilings.
Lucy began to heal, little by little. She tried to forget the nightmare with Colin, and the only reminder was her baby boy, Toby. She loved him more than life itself, and her mother adored him too. In the end, happiness waited for hernearby lived Gregory, who was already dreaming of asking Lucy to marry him.
Looking back, I can see how much pain shapes a man, but Im convinced that even from the worst nightmares, hope will find a way. The lesson I learned is never to give up on your future, no matter how lost you might feel. Theres always a road forward, especially when good people lend you a hand.
