Someone Elses Bride
Charlie was always in demand. He never needed to advertise in the paper or on the telly; his name and phone number just spread by word of mouth, like wildfire through the village grapevine. Hosting a concert? No problem! Running an anniversary or a wedding? Lovely! Once, he even ran a nursery school graduation and charmed not only the little ones, but their mums as well!
It all started quite by chance. One of Charlies close mates was getting married, but the hired master of ceremonies vanishedturned out hed gone off on a bender. There was no time to search for a replacement, so Charlie grabbed the microphone himself.
At school, he was always up for amateur dramatics, had attended local theatre clubs, and at university, he was a regular in Rag Week performances and the University Challenge team. That first impromptu gig went off beautifully, and right there in the function hall, two guests approached him, asking if he would run their events too.
After graduating, Charlie found work at one of the citys research institutes, earning little more than peanuts. When he started making proper money as an emcee, he took on every job he could, thrilled with both the substantial pay and the sheer fun of it. Before long, his event income was nearly ten times his salary as a junior researcher.
A year on, Charlie bit the bullet: he left the institute, invested his savings in quality equipment, opened a small business, and became a fully-fledged entertainer. He even began taking singing lessonshe did have a decent voice and ear after all. Soon, he was a singing emcee, picking up extra work as a crooner three nights a week at a restaurant in the city centre.
By the time he hit thirty, Charlie was handsome, relatively well-off, and pretty well-known as a solid singer, DJ, and top-notch host who could rescue even the dullest do. He wasnt marriedwhy bother? The women practically threw themselves at him; just a wink would do. But as his mates started settling down and having kids, Charlie himself found he was longing for a quiet family life. There was just one problemno one suitable around! The easy ones were just for fun; he wanted a proper love, for keeps.
You know what you need, mate? he once joked to a mate. Find yourself a schoolgirl, train her up for a few years, marry her when shes eighteen. Shell be the perfect wife!
He even started taking jobs running school leavers balls, hoping to spot a potential future wife among the sixth formers. But todays girls? He found them nothing like hed imagined. Still, he kept looking, joking with his mates that he was on the hunt, looking for a rare creature. And thats when fate decided to have a laugh at my cousin Charlie.
At first, nothing seemed unusual. A woman rang, mentioning shed got his details from mutual friends.
We need a host for a wedding. Are you free on the 17th of June? Brilliant! Could we meet?
So they did. And by Charlies account, it was the first time he truly understood the phrase the ground fell away beneath my feet. The woman, who introduced herself as Helen, was stunninghed never seen anyone like her in the flesh. She spoke clearly and sensibly, listing what they needed. Charlie couldnt help himself; he just stared, marvelling at her luckbeautiful and, by all signs, clever too. A rare mix! At first, he guessed Helen was about twenty-five, maybe a touch older, but in conversation, she mentioned having been in the girls youth club, so she must have been at least forty.
They talked through every detail, agreed terms, and signed a contract, though Helen objected.
Is it really needed? I trust you, and your references were glowing!
Charlie always insisted on contracts, sticking rigidly to his word and expected the same in return. He joked, The tax man loves paperwork, I dont want any trouble. Truth be told, he just needed concrete proof this wasnt all a dreamHelen was real.
Helens phone pingeda text message.
Oh, thatll be the groom here to pick me up. Do you need a lift anywhere?
Charlie declined but walked his client to the car. He always did this if the engaged couple arrived separately; it gave him a chance to see how they acted together. But this time, it wasnt curiosity, it was jealousy and envy. When shed said groom, he pictured a man in his forties, to match Helens age. But out of the car bounded a young bloke, clearly even younger than Charlie himself.
Helen, everything alright?
She just smiled as if to say, When is it not? Got in, and the groom turned to Charlie,
Youre the host for our wedding, yeah? Pleasure to meet you. My mate, Simon, said youre the best. He stuck out his hand. Sorry, Im Robert, the groom.
Charlie couldve throttled Robert the groom then and there, wiped the cheery grin off his face, but managed only a polite handshake.
Charlie. Nice to meet you.
From that day, Charlie went out of his mind. He invented any excuse to call Helen, hear her voice, or see her again. The wedding day crept nearer, and Charlie felt he was losing it. The only mate he confided in teased,
What about those schoolgirls you were training up to be your perfect wife?
Charlie waved dismissively, Stuff the schoolgirls! Helens the real deal. I want no one but her.
So tell her, then, his friend advised.
Are you mad? Shes getting married; clearly she loves him. What would she want with a lovesick loser like me?
Occasionally, the ever-grinning Robert would pop by.
Helen asked me to drop this off
Charlie seethed with silent loathing in those moments, struggling not to let it show. He even considered bailing on the job and to hell with his reputation! But then hed never see Helen again. And that, he couldnt face.
Two days before the wedding, Helen arrived at Charlies flat (the office was out of commission thanks to some builders work) to polish up the running ordergot to get it spot on. They talked for ages, much of it nonsense, laughing and joking. When theyd sorted all the details, Charlie suggested a glass of bubbly.
To a perfect wedding!
Helen accepted, grinning, With pleasure!
After a good laugh and a bit of Dutch courage from the champagne, Charlie, overcome, kissed her. And, to his astonishment, she kissed him back. It was electric.
Charlie woke suddenly. He sat up, blinking in confusion. Had he dreamed it, or was that the best night of his life? There was no sign of Helen, but the pillow beside him still held the faintest trace of perfume. So it really happened? Racked with doubt, he got upand realised, yes, it had. Now what? Would she cancel the wedding? He rang her number.
Hi
She picked up, chipper as ever. Hello! How are you? Sorry I slipped out without saying goodbyeso many things to sort, what with the wedding tomorrow!
So the weddings still on? Charlie asked, miserably.
Of course! Why wouldnt it be? Everythings grand.
Were all women this callous? How could she get married with a completely clear conscience? Charlie was beside himself. Should he ruin the wedding? Did he even want someone as cynical as that? Though, if he was honestyes, he did. By God, he did.
He showed up early at the restaurant the next day. The decorators were finishing up the tables, fluttering their eyelashes in his direction. And then
He could hardly believe itHelen herself came up to him.
Hello. I slipped away just after the registry office, just had to see you, she beamed, Whats wrong, Charlie?
I dont get it, he muttered, So, you went to the registry? Then ran off?
Well, yes, silly. Why would I want to drive round town with a bunch of youngsters? Much better to spend time with you. Dont you agree?
But waitwhat youngsters? Arent you the bride?
Helen stared at him, baffled, then suddenly burst into laughtergenuine, ringing laughter that made Charlie grin in spite of himself.
Of course not! My daughter, Lucy! She studies in Manchester, just flew in yesterday, she said, suddenly serious, Oh my word, did you really think I was the bride?
And with just two days to go, Id sleep with someone else? You must have some opinion of me
Then it finally clicked for Charlie. Helen had never said I or we, it was always the bride and groom. And Robert never called her Lucy, just Helen, always politely. How had he missed the signs? It was almost funny. Then finally, he blurted the only thing that mattered.
And you? Are you free, Helen? And when she smiled and nodded, he blurted, Marry me. Please.
The wedding was a grand success; Charlie outdid himself, and the guests were delighted. The happy couple sought him out to say thank you.
Its been wonderful. We dont know how to thank you enough.
Ill handle that myself, Helen said, joining them. Off you goyour limos waiting. Ill make sure everythings tidy here.
News that Charlie was marrying a woman nine years his senior flew through the family. At first, folks were wary, but then they met Helen and everyone agreed
How could anyone not fall for her?
Helen and Lucy had their babies just a fortnight apart.
