I’m 60 Years Old and No Longer Expect Friends or Family in My Home – Why I’ve Stopped Entertaining Guests, Embraced My Own Company, and Prefer Meeting Loved Ones Out in Cafés Instead of Hosting at Home

Author Harlan CovingtonReading 3 minViews 2

Im sixty years old. I no longer expect friends or relatives to come calling at my home. Quite a few people close to me think Im dreadfully stand-offish, but honestly, I cant bring myself to care much about what others think.

Truth be told, the biggest reason Ive stopped inviting people over is simple laziness. Keeping the house ready for guests absolutely wore me out. It wasnt just a matter of tidying every corner, but also having to sort out tea, cakes, sandwichesor whatever else the occasion called for. These days, I havent the resources or desire to go through all that. There are plenty of cafés in town where you can meet for a proper cup of tea or coffee. Why should everyone have to gather at home?

Another reason is that not every guest comes bringing good cheer. Some people carry a weight of negativity with them, and I saywhy invite someone elses troubles into your sitting room? After almost every visit, Id feel thoroughly deflated and miserable. I grew tired of sacrificing my own peace of mind. Ever since I stopped opening my door for all and sundry, the nightmares and sleepless nights have left me alone.

Now that Im retired, the last thing I want is to be stuck at home all the time. I want to get out, explore new placesjust find a bit of enjoyment and escape from monotony. Whats the point of playing hostess and dragging everyone round to mine? They leave, and Im left hoovering and worrying whether I entertained well enough or made some terrible social blunder.

Our town is full of lovely places for outings and celebrations nowadays. Theres really no need anymore to have birthdays or name days squeezed into the sitting room. I want to get out and enjoy life myself, not spend the day chasing after crumbs with a dustpan and brush.

My home is my little haven now, reserved just for me and those I truly want around. Some would probably call me inhospitableeven a bit of a hermitbut I think theyve missed the mark.

Does this point of view ring true for you at all?

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The One-Woman Man On the Day of His Wife’s Funeral, Fyodor Didn’t Shed a Tear—”You See, I Told You He Never Loved Zina,” Tosia Whispered to Her Neighbor. “Hush Now, What Difference Does It Make? The Children Are Orphans Now, with a Father Like That.”—”You’ll See, He’ll Marry Katie Soon Enough,” Tosia Assured Lelya. “Why Katie? She Wants Nothing to Do with Him. Glafira Was Always His True Love, Or Have You Forgotten How They Used to Sneak Around the Barns? Katie Has a Family and Moved On from Him Long Ago.” Zinaida Was Buried. The Children Clung to Each Other. Misha and Pauline Had Just Turned Eight. Though Zina Married Fyodor for Love, No One, Not Even She, Knew If He Truly Loved Her. Rumor Had It She Married Him Because She Fell Pregnant. Their First Child, Klavdy, Was Born Premature and Didn’t Survive; For Years Afterwards, There Were No More Children Until God Granted Twins—Pauline, Who Took After Fyodor, and Misha, Gentle Like His Mother. Fyodor Was Stern, Called “Lone Wolf” By Villagers for His Silence and Lack of Affection. When Zina Died, She Entrusted Misha With Protecting His Twin Sister. “You’re the Man of the House Now, Promise Me You’ll Care for Her,” She Said Before Passing. Fyodor Sat Wordless at His Late Wife’s Side. Life Slowly Settled—Pauline Tried to Manage the Household, But Needed Aunt Natalia’s Guidance. Villagers Whispered: Maybe Fyodor Would Marry Again, Perhaps to Glafira, His Old Flame—though Such Gossip Was Met with Chiding from the Parish Council Chairman, Maxim Leonard. Glafira Had Loved Fyodor Once, But Married Mitya Instead; Still, Old Sparks Began Rumored to Fly. Yet Fyodor Stayed True to Zina’s Memory. Even When Glafira Approached Him With Homemade Pies, He Refused, Remaining Loyal to His Wife, Even After Death. Years Passed, the Twins Grew Up. Aunt Natalia, Still Helping Them, Maintained That Her Brother Had Only Loved One Woman. When Pauline Confided She Loved Grisha Voronin “for Ever,” Natalia Cautioned Her That Sometimes Love Lasts a Lifetime—and Sometimes, If Betrayed, There’s No Loving Again. On Fridays, Pauline Secretly Followed Her Father to the Cemetery, Where He’d Whisper to Zina’s Grave All He Couldn’t Say in Life—For Fyodor, the Lone Wolf, Had Told Her Everything with His Heart.