Why Bring Your Own Food? For Five Years, I Cooked and Hosted Christmas Alone for My Husband’s Sister and Brother and Their Families—Last Year I Divided the Work, But Now They Won’t Help, and My Mother-in-Law Wants Another Celebration at My House. When I Asked Everyone to Share the Cooking—Me Making Two Hot Dishes and Cake, The Rest Bringing Salads, Fish, Meat, Cheese, Fruit, and Drinks—Suddenly No One Had Time, and They Said They’d Rather Celebrate at Home. Now I Don’t Know How to Tell My Mother-in-Law, Who Will Be Very Upset—Should I Host Christmas Alone Again This Year, or Stand My Ground?

Why Should You Bring Your Own Food?

For the past five years, my husbands sister and brother, with their families, have spent every Christmas at our house in Oxford. I cooked every dish myself, set the table, made sure everything was just right, and cleaned up after everyone while they simply enjoyed the festivities. But last year, I finally reached my limit. It all became too much for mephysically, mentally, and even financially.

So, last Christmas, I suggested we share the responsibilities.

But a few weeks ago, my mother-in-law called to say theyre getting on in years, and times arent easy, so she would love another family Christmas at ours.

I rang my husbands brother and sister and explained that Mum wishes us to celebrate together. At first, they were all for it and said, Of course, well do what Mum wants.

Then I proposed we divided up whod prepare what dish. I said Id provide the mains, cook two hot dishes, and make a cake.

They could handle two salads, fish, cheese, fruit, and drinksperhaps everyone could bring a bottle.

As I listed out what was needed, all the enthusiasm disappeared from their voices. They grumbled about being busy, having to shop, and the hassle of preparing food. Frankly, they couldnt understand why they should bring food at all. They suggested that maybe we should just celebrate separately at their houses.

So I asked, But what about Mum? And, would you believe it, they shrugged and said, Well just ring and wish her happy holidays, that should do.

They clearly dont want to share the load or the expense. I havent broken the news to my mother-in-law, and honestly, I dread disappointing her. Shell be heartbroken.

What should I do now? Should I take it all on myself again this year?

Sometimes, people forget that the joy of a shared meal goes beyond the foodit’s about everyone sharing the effort. Maybe this Christmas, Ill remind my family that true celebration means pitching in together, so no one is left exhausted and alone. After all, a holiday is best when everyone brings something to the tablewhether its a dish or even just a helping hand.