How My Son’s Mother-in-Law Stole Him Away from Us Ever since our son got married, he refuses to visit us—he’s always at his mother-in-law’s house. She always needs urgent help. I can’t even imagine how she managed before her daughter married our son. Our son has been married for over two years. After the wedding, the newlyweds moved into the flat we bought for him when he started university. He’s always had our support and understanding. Even before the wedding, he lived on his own since his flat was close to his work. I won’t say I didn’t like my daughter-in-law—she just never seemed mature enough for married life, despite being only two years younger than our son. She often acted like a child and was quite moody at times. Our son is such a kind soul, and I always wondered how he’d manage life with someone so childish. After meeting her and her mother, I realised what kind of people they are. Despite being my age, my son’s mother-in-law acts like a child herself. Maybe you’ve met people who behave like children even when they’re older? They’re very immature and helpless. When her daughter got married, she was already on her sixth divorce. We never had much to say to each other—she was in her own world, though she didn’t try to invade ours. Our communication rarely went beyond the polite congratulations at the wedding. The warning signs started even before the wedding—the daughter-in-law would constantly drag our son over to her mum’s: a leaking tap, a socket to fix, a kitchen shelf that had fallen down. The first time, I let it go—there wasn’t a man in the house, so of course, an extra pair of hands would help. But the issues at her house never seemed to end. Our son started ignoring us, always saying he and his wife were off to her mother’s. Soon after, they began spending every holiday at his mother-in-law’s, leaving only me, my father, and my mother-in-law alone here. It was bad enough when our son stopped coming to all family celebrations, but it hurt even more when he started ignoring our requests for help. When we bought a new fridge and asked our son for help moving it, he agreed at first, but later he called to say he couldn’t because he and his wife were going to her mum’s again—this time about a leaking washing machine. When my husband rang him, we overheard my daughter-in-law saying, “Couldn’t your parents just hire movers?” Our son did turn up, but he was in a vile mood. “Dad, couldn’t you have just booked a removals team? Now I have to lug this thing myself!” That’s when I lost my patience. Why couldn’t his mother-in-law just call a specialist herself? Is she living in a parallel universe where those don’t exist? My son said the poor woman needed help because everyone tries to cheat her nowadays—they’ll take her money and not fix a thing. At that point, my husband snapped and said, “Maybe your mother-in-law doesn’t know much about appliances, but she’s certainly a skilled shepherd—she’s managed to lead one sheep perfectly.” Our son stormed out, furious with his dad. I didn’t interfere—as much as I agreed with my husband that our new in-laws had made themselves very comfortable on our son’s back, he could have put it more gently, and now our son refuses to see him and is upset with me too. After that row, our son hasn’t spoken to his dad for more than two weeks. His father won’t be the first to make amends. I feel torn—caught between a rock and a hard place. Of course, my husband is right, but he could have put it more kindly. Now my son is offended, and I risk losing him altogether over something so petty. Neither will give way—they both say the other should apologise first. Meanwhile, his mother-in-law seems to be having the time of her life! — How My Son’s Mother-in-Law Took Him Away from Our Family: Ever Since He Got Married, He’s Always at Her House—Now There’s Always an Emergency Needing His Help, and He Hardly Sees Us Anymore

Author Harlan CovingtonReading 5 min

How My Son Was Drawn Away by His Mother-in-Law

It feels like it was just yesterday, though many years have passed since these events unfolded. My husband and I have often spoken of the time when our son married and, bit by bit, drifted away from us. Since his wedding, he rarely visited. Instead, he seemed always ensconced at his mother-in-laws home, forever summoned for some urgent assistance. I sometimes wonder how she ever managed at all before her daughter married our William.

William has now been married for more than two years. After the ceremony, our son and his bride moved into a flat we had bought for him when he started university. We had always done our utmost for William, giving him every advantage and support as he grew. He began living independently even before his marriage, as the flat was conveniently situated near his office.

I wouldnt say I disliked his wife, Emily, at first, but it did cross my mind that she lacked maturity for married life. William was only two years her senior, yet she often acted in a childish manner, prone to whims and flights of fancy. Our son was such a gentle soul, and I used to worry about how he would navigate life with someone so naïve.

It wasnt until I met Emily and her mother face to face that I truly grasped the sort of people they were. Although her mother was the same age as I, she behaved as though she hadnt outgrown her schoolgirl days. Im sure youve come across such folkpeople who, no matter their years, remain childlike and helpless. By the time of Emilys wedding, her mother had already accrued six divorces to her name.

We never found any common ground for conversation as her world seemed so far removed from ours, though I will say she did not intrude. Our interactions were confined to the niceties of congratulating one another on our childrens marriage, and nothing more.

I first sensed trouble even before the wedding. Emily constantly hauled William to her mothers houseone time a dripping tap, another for a loose socket, another because a kitchen shelf had collapsed. At first, I thought little of it. With no man about the house, the odd bit of help seemed fair enough.

However, as time wore on, her mothers home seemed to require sustained and ever-increasing repairs. Meanwhile, William stopped visiting us, always making his excuseshe and Emily were, once again, needed at her mothers. Slowly, all holidays and celebrations came to be spent there, and at Christmas it was only myself, my father, and my mother-in-law sitting glumly at the dinner table.

It was bad enough losing my sons company at special times, but worse that he also began to ignore requests for even the smallest help.

I recall, about that time, wed purchased a new refrigerator and asked William for a hand moving it in. He agreed initially, but later phoned to say he couldnt manage as he and Emily had to rush to her mothers due to a leaky washing machine.

When my husband called William to plead with him, I overheard Emilys voice in the background, asking, Cant your parents just pay for a removal service? In the end, William arrived but was cross as could be.

Dad, couldnt you have called someone? Now Ive got to lug this thing! he barked, hardly himself.

My patience snapped. Why couldnt Emilys mother simply hire a professional? It was as if she lived in another world, blissfully ignoring that such trades existed. William replied that his mother-in-law needed helpthese days, tradesmen are all tricksters, he said, charging a fortune and not fixing a thing.

My husband, never one for mincing his words, finally let it out: maybe Emilys mother didnt have an ounce of sense when it came to household appliances, but she was a marvellous shepherdshe always seemed to herd one particular sheep in her desired direction. Williams face darkened instantly, angry at his father, and he stormed out. I kept silent then, even though I thought my husband had spoken nothing but the truth: Williams new relatives were running him ragged, and he had neither time nor energy left for us.

Since that row, William hasnt spoken to his father for over a fortnight. My husband refuses to reach out and make peace, while William also remains stubborn, insisting he will not seek contact until an apology is offered. I find myself torn between the two, caught in the middle: my husband might have spoken too harshly, but I cannot bear the thought of losing my son over something so trivial.

Now both my husband and son refuse to give an inch, while Emilys mother, it seems, is thriving. What a tangled web this family life can weave!

Living in Someone Else’s Flat? Then Pay the Rent! “I don’t even know if my daughter’s wedding will happen. Everyone’s fallen out, and the future son-in-law has gone off the rails. There are only two weeks to go and he’s acting up. I feel so sorry for my daughter,” complains Alina. “Why is everyone arguing?” “You won’t believe it, but it’s over a flat. We wanted to make the young couple happy, so we used all our savings and bought them a flat as a wedding gift. We had to sell our little cottage by the lake and the garage just to afford it. The property is in my daughter’s name. But they’re getting married anyway—so what difference does it make whose name it’s in?” “Exactly…” “That’s what my husband and I think too. Now, the flat’s totally bare. It needs renovating and furnishing, but we’ve got no savings left. My husband suggested to our son-in-law-to-be that we all pitch in to get the place ready so they can move in quickly. But he refuses to help with the renovation!” “Why not?” “Because it’s not his flat! He won’t invest in property he doesn’t own. He said we should do the renovation ourselves. Maybe he’ll buy a few bits and bobs, but he won’t spend any real money.” “So why don’t they just move in as it is?” “They can’t. It’s completely empty and needs new plumbing and electrics, the floors and walls need evening out, the old windows are about to fall out—they need to be replaced. At the very least, it needs basic finishing,” says Alina. “I think it’s impossible to live in such a state, even though I’m not hard to please. How can young people live in a dump like that? It’s embarrassing! My future son-in-law works for a big company and makes good money, but he doesn’t want to spend it. He wants to save up for his own place so he’s not left without a roof over his head. “So it seems he wants to live at our expense. He’s demanding we pay for the renovation. So I told him, if he thinks it’s someone else’s flat, then he should pay rent! He just smiled and agreed,” Alina sighs. “What does your daughter say?” “She’s very upset and cries all the time. She loves him very much, but we can’t add him to the flat’s deeds. Now she says she doesn’t want the flat or the renovation at all. But I dislike that he’s unwilling to invest in their family. What’s going to happen next? They’re not even married and already thinking about divorce and splitting the assets,” says Alina. Do you think my future son-in-law should invest in this flat? He plans to live there, start a family, settle in. Does it really matter whose name is on the deeds? Or is his position logical? What would you do in his shoes?

My Husband’s Parents Refuse to Accept His Divorce – They Keep Trying to Reunite Him With His Ex-Wife. “Don’t You Understand, They Have a Son Together!” My Mother-in-Law Complains I am married to a man whose parents have stubbornly refused to accept the fact that their son is divorced—even though it’s been over four years since it happened. They’re constantly trying to reconcile him with his ex-wife. He and I married three years ago and we have a happy life together. My mother-in-law thinks her son acted recklessly and foolishly. She believes he must do everything possible to rebuild his relationship with his ex-wife’s family. After all, his son is still there. When I met Adam, he was already divorced. Supposedly, it was a mutual decision, and his ex-wife happily remarried. Apparently, her affair was the reason for their split. Maybe we made a mistake by getting married. My own mum insisted we wed because she got pregnant, and I wasn’t really in love—I was just dating her. “If she hadn’t been pregnant, I wouldn’t have married her,” my husband explained. I wasn’t intimidated by his ex. At first, I decided to watch him closely. I realised he really wasn’t longing for his old family; he was indifferent to his ex-wife. She wasn’t interested in him either. She remarried, and they only communicate about their son. Only my mother-in-law couldn’t stand things as they were. His father as well. They kept trying to reunite the family, and took our relationship very negatively. “You’re still young, your life is ahead of you. Why would you get involved in someone else’s family?” she asked me when we were alone. I replied that if Adam were married, I wouldn’t interfere. But right now, he’s single. My mother-in-law tried to say more but fell silent when Adam came in. At that moment I knew I’d never have a good relationship with her—but I wasn’t particularly upset. We got married and moved in together. I’ve hardly had any contact with my mother-in-law except for occasional family holidays. That’s when I have to listen to her sigh about my husband’s former family. Adam tries to hush his mum, as he isn’t happy about it either—but then it all just repeats. We’re not rushing to have children. I don’t feel ready to be a mum and my husband already has a son, which my mother-in-law is very pleased about. After the divorce, my mother-in-law stepped in—she kept inviting my husband’s ex-wife for Christmas and praised her for everything. “They made such a lovely couple…” she’d sigh. His ex-wife had nothing to do with it—she was completely indifferent, just showed up and that was that. You could feel the lack of enthusiasm. My mother-in-law even tried to make Adam jealous of his ex-wife and me jealous of him. She’d ring me asking if I knew where my husband was. If I didn’t, she assumed he was with his ex. Or she’d send him on errands to his ex. All sorts of little things. I’m not jealous, but it all gets on my nerves. If you look at Adam and his ex, it’s obvious there’s nothing between them and there never will be. But having a child together doesn’t help. My husband regularly gives his ex money, sometimes talks to his son, and brings him round for visits. His ex isn’t manipulative or greedy, and doesn’t restrict visits. She seems perfectly normal. They behave like civilised adults. It just didn’t work out, and now each has their own life and they respect each other. But my mother-in-law can’t accept that, constantly stirring up drama. When will she stop? When will she wise up? My husband hopes she’ll quiet down once I give her a grandchild, but I don’t believe it.