While my children and grandchildren make do in a tiny flat, my son-in-laws parents enjoy life in a spacious apartment.
My daughter got married, but sadly we’ve had no luck with her husband or his parents. We do everything for our children, whilst they get nothing from his side. Eight years have passed since the wedding, and yet were still dealing with this family.
When the matter of housing arose, his parents made their stance clear”we have nothing to do with that.”
My husband and I had to move out to buy a flat for the kids, even though our own was lovely, warm, and built from sturdy brick. But what could we do? It was far more important that our children had a place of their own. We put our hearts into renovating it, bought brand new furniture, but had not a penny of help from his parents.
I even help with my grandchildren. My daughter is on maternity leave with the little one, while the eldest is starting Year 1, so I drive him to school. It would be impossible for her to juggle both on her ownwaking the baby, dressing everyone, and getting to school in the span of an hour! So, I take turns with my husband; we both share in caring for the grandchildren.
My son-in-laws parents, as ever, act like its none of their concern. I watch and wonder, how can grandparents be so detached?
Its been like this from the very beginning. Imagine not giving your son a single pound to help with his wedding. Before the big day, I rang to suggest we meet and discuss things since our children were marrying. Their response?
What if they divorce in a month? These days, 70% of couples split in the first six months, it’s just statistics!
In the end, my husband and I organised the wedding ourselves and gifted the couple a flat. His parents showed up like strangers, handing over a meagre £100 in an envelope.
Even so, my son-in-law never stopped making requests.
Eight years ago, we bought their flat a small studio, just right for two. Now, with two children it’s become cramped, of course.
I feel my son-in-law could show more initiative. Ive said, Well, if you cant earn more, cant your parents lend a hand?
He always refuses. I cant ask them to do that! he says.
So I suggested, Shall I raise it with them, then? But he forbade me from mentioning it.
His attitude shocked me. Apparently, its too much to ask ones own parents, but fine to take from someone elses. For eight years, hes relied on my support. Why not earn for himself? People manage to buy homes somehow. I told himYoure young, youll find a way. Consider a second job, or maybe try work abroad.
Hes the same way with my daughter, and now complains to her about my involvement. He insists his parents cant be changed, thats just how they are, and they never will help.
It frustrates me: they live comfortably, holiday in Bath, but nothing can be said to them. My son-in-law seemingly forbids it. What a devoted son! Yet, he doesnt show the same consideration for his in-laws.
Its hard not to notice that in life, kindness and support should not flow only one way. Sometimes, the greatest lesson we can teach our children is to take responsibility and balance give and take. Only then can families truly thrive together.
