A week before Mothers Day, I barely made it out of the courthouse. Tears blurred my eyes. There was only one sentence echoing in my mind: You are no longer husband and wife.
Why did he do this to me? What had I done to deserve such punishment?
I married when I was just nineteen. It was a whirlwind romancesleepless nights, feeling not quite alive, but rather as if I was floating above the ground. We shared five wonderful years together, and throughout that time, I felt enormous love for him. I strived to please him in every way: bringing him breakfast in bed, cooking only his favourite meals, and making sure the house was always spotless.
Sadly, his parents never truly accepted me. They would say I wasnt good enough for their son and that theyd find him a better wife, never letting me forget I wasnt welcome. It soon became clear this affected my husband. Little by little, he grew more distant and critical of everything I did.
At that time, our son was five. At first, my husband adored and spoiled him, but gradually he became colder. I believe my in-laws played a part, casting doubt in his mind, whispering old suspicions that our son wasnt really hiseven though the boy was the spitting image of his father. My husband started spending more and more time with his parents, eventually seeming to live there. When he did come home, he was always in a foul mood and raised his voice at me. Still, I tried to carry myself well, looked after myself, and cared for our home.
One day, his anger snapped and he struck me. I could barely believe it, but foolishly, I still hoped things would improve. Soon after, he told me hed had enoughhe was done. Just like that, he walked out on me and our boy. I begged him to reconsider, pleaded for us to save our family, but he didnt care to listen.
Even after our divorce, I couldnt imagine life without him. He still pays a mere pittance for child maintenance, and insists on seeing a receipt for every penny I spend. Even if I buy a loaf of bread, I have to scan the receipt and send it to him. Im left begging for support from a man who feels no duty to his own child.
He rarely visits our son, and when he does, its only for the occasional day trip. Our boy feels his lack of warmth, and now he doesnt want to see his father at all. My ex is furioushe blames me for turning the boy against him. But I cant bear our separation, and I havent stopped crying. Since we parted, Ive lost weight and slipped into depression. I shout at my son, even though I hate myself for it.
How can one live with a broken heart? Every day I check his social media, spying on his new life. Thats how I learned he plans to marry someone else, and the news left me utterly devastated.
I understand now why he barely visits, and why our son is no longer interested. In my mind, I know its well and truly over, but my heart wont let go. All Ive learned is that sometimes love isnt enough, and clinging to the past only deepens your pain. Perhaps all you can do is gather the shattered pieces and try, somehow, to move forward.
