Im off on holiday Im not babysitting anyone! My mother-in-law let me down, but I gave her a taste of her own medicine.
Every family has its own secrets and troubles. Some struggle with inheritance disputes, others with drinking, cheating, or simply a lack of shared values and interests. Were fortunate not to have such problems, but if it werent for my mother-in-law, everything would be perfect. I tried to build a good relationship with her for years, but it led nowhere.
I understand that the bond between parents and their children can be extremely close. But a mummys boy at thirty-seven is going too far! My husband and his mother have plenty of their own secrets, always whispering together and having private discussions behind my back. On top of that, I cant shake the feeling that my mother-in-law isnt particularly fond of our son her own grandson.
Heres what happened in our family recently. Every summer, our son spends almost the entire holiday with my parents at their cottage, while my mother-in-law can never manage to take care of him for even a week or two.
This year, due to the pandemic, my mother, who is a doctor, couldnt get time off. My father isnt well enough to look after our grandson by himself. I couldnt take time off from work either So, we were counting on my mother-in-law to help out. We arranged everything with her a month in advance.
A week before the planned date, she phoned me up and said:
Ive been given a holiday as a present, so youll have to find someone else to look after your son.
I was stunned I just hung up in disbelief. I was at my wits end as there were no other options. My mother-in-law was about to set off for her wonderful holiday, with no concern whatsoever for her grandson. Later, I found out that she hadnt received the holiday as a present at all she bought it herself, even though she knew shed promised to help with our son.
My mother-in-law then asked my husband to look after her greenhouse and water the garden while she was away. As hes always snowed under at work, the job would have automatically landed on me. But this time, I stood my ground and said Id do nothing of the sort. I had good reason:
You let me down and lied to me. I wont do you any favours you wanted a break, so have a break. If your tomatoes wilt, its not my problem.
Of course, my mother-in-law was cross, but she still went ahead with her holiday. Meanwhile, Im tearing around trying to find a summer camp for my son, as I have to find somewhere for him to go.
Did I do the right thing? Sometimes, standing up for yourself is the only way to earn respect and show others that your time and commitments matter too. By setting boundaries, we teach others how we expect to be treated.
