I’m 58 and I made a decision that cost me more than most people can imagine: I stopped financially supporting my daughter. And it wasn’t because I don’t love her… or because I’ve become “stingy”. My daughter married a man who, from the very start, made it clear he had no interest in holding down a job. He hopped from one position to another every few months—always with a new excuse: the boss, the hours, the pay, the work environment… Always something wasn’t right for him. Meanwhile, she worked, but the money was never enough. Every month, he would come to me with the same requests: for rent, for food, for debts, for the children’s school. And every time, I helped them out in the end. At first I thought it was just a phase. That things would improve, he’d step up, take responsibility, become a real man. But the years went by, and nothing changed. He lounged about at home, slept in late, went out drinking with friends, always promising that he was “almost” about to land a job. And the money I provided to my daughter was actually covering his bills… or worse, just funding his drinking. He didn’t bother looking for work because he knew, no matter what, I’d always be there to “fix” things. My daughter never confronted him either. It was easier for her to ask me for help than face up to him. So I was paying for bills that weren’t mine. Carrying the burden of a marriage that wasn’t mine. The day I decided to stop was when my daughter asked for money for an “emergency” and accidentally revealed it was to pay off a debt her husband had racked up while playing pool with his friends. I asked her, “Why doesn’t he get a job?” She replied, “I don’t want to push him.” That’s when I made it clear: I will continue to support her emotionally. I will always be there for her and my grandchildren. But I won’t give any more money while she stays with a man who does nothing and takes no responsibility. She cried. She was furious. She accused me of abandoning her. And it was one of the hardest moments I’ve ever had as a mother. Tell me… did I do the wrong thing?

Im 58 now, and Ive made a decision that has cost me more than most people could ever imagine: I stopped giving financial support to my daughter. And it wasnt because I dont love her, or because Ive suddenly turned tight-fisted.

My daughter married a man who, right from the start, made it clear he had no fondness for hard work. He would change jobs every few monthsalways with a new excuse: the boss, the hours, the pay, the working environment There was always something that didnt suit him.

My daughter was working, but the money never seemed enough.

Every month hed turn up at my door with the same old story: rent, food, bills, the childrens school. And every single time, Id end up helping them out.

At first, I thought it was just a rough patch, that it wouldnt last. That hed eventually pick himself up, take responsibility, and become a real man.

But the years went by, and nothing changed.

Hed stay at home, sleep in late, go out with his mates, always promising he was just about to find something. And the money I handed to my daughter was really covering bills he should have taken care ofor, even worse, his drinking.

He never bothered looking for proper work, because he knew that, whatever happened, I would be the one to fix things.

My daughter never held him accountable either. It was far easier for her to come to me for help than to have a serious word with him.

And so, month after month, I ended up paying for bills that werent mine, and carrying the burden of a marriage that wasnt mine.

The day I decided to stop was when my daughter came to me with yet another emergencyand, without meaning to, let slip that she needed the money to pay off a debt her husband had racked up playing snooker with his mates.

I asked her:
Why doesnt he have a job?

And she replied:
I dont want to push him.

That was when I made it clear:

I will always be there for her emotionally. Ill be there for her and my grandchildren. Always. But I wont be handing over any more money while she chooses to stay with a man who does nothing and takes no responsibility.

She cried. She was furious. She said I was abandoning her.

And it was one of the hardest moments Ive ever faced as a parent.

Tell me this was I wrong?

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I’m 58 and I made a decision that cost me more than most people can imagine: I stopped financially supporting my daughter. And it wasn’t because I don’t love her… or because I’ve become “stingy”. My daughter married a man who, from the very start, made it clear he had no interest in holding down a job. He hopped from one position to another every few months—always with a new excuse: the boss, the hours, the pay, the work environment… Always something wasn’t right for him. Meanwhile, she worked, but the money was never enough. Every month, he would come to me with the same requests: for rent, for food, for debts, for the children’s school. And every time, I helped them out in the end. At first I thought it was just a phase. That things would improve, he’d step up, take responsibility, become a real man. But the years went by, and nothing changed. He lounged about at home, slept in late, went out drinking with friends, always promising that he was “almost” about to land a job. And the money I provided to my daughter was actually covering his bills… or worse, just funding his drinking. He didn’t bother looking for work because he knew, no matter what, I’d always be there to “fix” things. My daughter never confronted him either. It was easier for her to ask me for help than face up to him. So I was paying for bills that weren’t mine. Carrying the burden of a marriage that wasn’t mine. The day I decided to stop was when my daughter asked for money for an “emergency” and accidentally revealed it was to pay off a debt her husband had racked up while playing pool with his friends. I asked her, “Why doesn’t he get a job?” She replied, “I don’t want to push him.” That’s when I made it clear: I will continue to support her emotionally. I will always be there for her and my grandchildren. But I won’t give any more money while she stays with a man who does nothing and takes no responsibility. She cried. She was furious. She accused me of abandoning her. And it was one of the hardest moments I’ve ever had as a mother. Tell me… did I do the wrong thing?