Ever since our son got married, he hardly visits us anymore. These days, he seems to spend all his time at his mother-in-laws house. She constantly has some urgent problem and needs his help. I honestly cant imagine how she managed before her daughter married our son.
Our son has been married for over two years now. After their wedding, the newlyweds moved out, choosing to live separately in a flat we bought for our son when he first started university. From a young age, he always had our support and understanding. In fact, even before his marriage, he had started living on his own because his flat was close to his job.
I cant say I ever disliked my daughter-in-law, but at the time, I felt she was simply too immature for married life, even if our son was only two years older than her. My daughter-in-law often acted like a small child, sometimes even a bit spoiled. Our son has always been such a kind-hearted young man, and I kept wondering how he would cope with someone who seemed more like a child than a partner.
After meeting her and her mother, I realised exactly what the situation was. Even though my sons mother-in-law is about my age, she behaves as though shes half it. Perhaps youve met people like thatadults who act like children no matter how old they are? They seem quite helpless, almost incapable of managing on their own. By the time her daughter got married, the woman had already been through six divorces.
We had nothing much in common to talk about, as she seemed set in her own little world, though at least she never tried to interfere in our lives. Our conversations were limited to polite congratulations when our children married, and that was about it.
The first warning signs came even before the wedding, as our son was constantly being dragged over to his mother-in-laws for some emergencya leaky tap, a broken socket, a shelf that had fallen down. At first, I let it go; after all, there was no man in the house, and she probably could use some help.
But as time went on, the emergencies at his mother-in-laws house didnt let up. Our son began ignoring us, always excusing himself with some job he and his wife had to do for her mother. Eventually, they started celebrating every holiday at his mother-in-laws, and I was left at home with just my own mum and my husband.
That was bad enough, but it got even worse when our son began ignoring our requests for help, too.
At one point, we bought a new fridge and asked our son if he could help us carry it in. He agreed at first, but then rang to say he couldnt make it as he and his wife needed to go to her mothersapparently her washing machine was leaking.
When my wife rang our son, she overheard our daughter-in-law in the background saying, Couldnt your parents just hire some movers? The son did turn up in the end, but he was thoroughly annoyed.
Dad, why couldnt you just get someone in? Now I have to do it!
I couldnt help but wonder why his mother-in-law never called in a handyman herself. Is she living in another world where such people dont exist? My son tried to explain that his mother-in-law was fed up with being ripped offshe said every tradesman tried to overcharge and never fixed things properly.
At that point, my wifes patience snapped, and she blurted out that perhaps his mother-in-law might not know her way around appliances, but she certainly knows how to herd sheepshes a talented shepherd if ever there was one. Our son immediately took offence at his mother and stormed out. I didnt get involved in the argument then, mostly because I believed my wife was righther family has always leaned heavily on our son. Hes always there as both plumber and handyman for them, while we hardly see him anymore.
After that quarrel, our son refused to speak to his mother for more than two weeks. And she, for her part, declined to be the first to apologise. I feel caught in the middle, torn between themof course, my wife was right, but I wish she had put it a bit more kindly. Now hes cross, doesnt want to see his mother, and I certainly dont want to lose him over something like this.
Neither of them wants to make the first move to reconcile. The whole impasse continues, and, ironically, the only one enjoying herself in all of this seems to be his mother-in-law.
