My ex-husbands son from his second marriage fell ill, and my ex asked me for financial help. I said no.
Im 37 years old and have been divorced for quite some timeexactly ten years now. My ex cheated on me, and I couldnt forgive him. Hes now living with the woman he left me for.
She became pregnant, had his child, and then he married her. After all that, I preferred not to have any contact with him, so I honestly havent got a clue what goes on in his life.
I have a good job, and money isnt an issue for me. Then, last week, my ex showed up at my door. We hadnt seen each other for years, so I was genuinely shocked. I wanted to tell him off, but he got the words out first. He said his son had been diagnosed with cancer, and the treatment was expensive. He and his wife couldnt afford it, so now hed come to me.
The truth is, I do have a considerable amount of money since I recently sold my grandmothers old house. He found out about the sale and decided this was his chance. It was quite convenient for him, really. Everything seemed to fall perfectly into placefor him.
I havent yet decided what to do with the money. Id like to buy a decent car, but I need to learn to drive firstand there doesnt seem to be enough time or urgency. The sum is pretty substantial, and Im not in any hurry to part with it. I couldnt help but wonder, would he help me if I became seriously ill? I sincerely doubt it.
Do you have any idea how desperate we are? he pleaded. Yet, he never cared a whit about my feelingsnot once. His wife, the same. He tossed me aside for her without a second thought when the time came. At the divorce, we split everything in half. He insisted he needed everything for his new family. He even tried to lay claim to my flat, but fortunately, I bought it before we married, so it remained mine. That was my saving grace. How miserable he was about it! Now, here he is, demanding money and appealing to my sympathy.
He said he could show me every document to prove the situation if I didnt believe him. But I dont need to see them. Im not even willing to consider it. Even if he promises theyll pay it all back. And rehabilitation for the child would cost even more. Quite honestly, I doubt Id ever see the money again.
Why not get a bank loan? I asked.
I was blunt and said it all straight to his face. He shouted, said hed drop to his knees, but thats not what I want. I dont wish to humiliate himI simply want nothing at all to do with him. He traded me in once, betrayed me utterly. So no, he can just get lost. He said hed be back once I had time to think it all over, but theres nothing to consider.
Some might say I have no heart. Perhaps so. But I want to be in control of my own finances. Im not sharing them with anyone else. Of course, after that conversation, I did feel uneasy. But I wont be helping themthat will be a lesson for him and the price he pays for his past mistakes.
Sometimes life gives us the chance to help those who once hurt us. But its also important to stand up for ourselves, not sacrifice our own well-being for someone who never valued us. True self-respect means knowing when to say nonot out of revenge, but from the wisdom to protect your own future.
