For forty years I heard the same sentence, over and over again, and honestly, it felt like a crown was being placed on my head every time I heard it.
My wife doesnt work. Shes the queen of the house.
People would smile. They looked up to me. Sometimes, I even caught a glimpse of envy in their eyes.
And I truly believed it.
I believed I mattered. That I was valuable. That what I did was the most important job in the world.
And it was a job, really. Only, nobody actually called it that.
I was the cook, the cleaner, the childminder, the teacher, the nurse, the psychologist, the driver, the accountant, the organiser of everything. I worked fourteen hours a day, sometimes even longer. There were no days off. No pay packet. No thank you every time I could have done with one.
There was just one thing:
Youre at home. Youre all right.
My children never went to school in dirty uniforms. My husband never came home to find the dinner cold. My house was always tidy. My whole life revolved around keeping everyone elses lives peaceful.
Sometimes, when I looked in the mirror, I didnt see a woman.
I saw a function.
But Id reassure myself, saying, This is family. This is love. This is my choice.
The one comfort I had was believing everything was ours.
Our house.
Our money.
Our life.
But the truth turned out to be something else entirely.
When my husband passed away and went to meet his maker my world didnt just collapse from grief. It shattered under reality.
We cried. People called him a good man, provider, pillar of the family.
Then came the day the will was read.
There I was, a widow hands clutched tight, chest aching, hoping for some security, some protection after all those years Id given him.
And then I heard the words that made me feel like a stranger in my own life.
The house was in his name.
The bank account was in his name.
Everything was in his name.
In seconds, ours became his.
My children my kids inherited what Id looked after, cleaned, and kept going my whole life.
And me?
I wasnt even allowed to say one word:
Thats mine, too.
From that day on, I started living in the most humiliating way not poor, but dependent.
I had to ask,
May I buy my medicine?
May I get some shoes?
Can I get my hair done?
As if I wasnt a seventy-year-old woman, but a little girl begging for pocket money.
Sometimes, clutching my shopping list in my hand, Id wonder how it was even possible
How could I work forty years, and have my labour counted for nothing?
The pain wasnt just having no money.
What hurt most was realising Id been deceived.
That my crown was nothing but words, not security.
That Id been a queen, but had no rights.
Thats when I started asking myself questions I never dared to before:
Where was I in this love?
Where was my name?
Where was my future?
And why, all this time, did I think having my own money meant I didnt trust him?
Now I know the truth.
To have your own income, your own account, your own pension, your own property isnt betraying love.
Its self-respect.
Love shouldnt leave you undefended.
It shouldnt take your strength and then leave you begging.
Heres what Ive learnt:
A woman might give her whole life to her home but the home should make space for her too not just in the kitchen, but in the rights, the security, and the finances.
Housework is noble work.
But dependence thats a trap.
Let me ask you:
Do you know a woman who was the queen of the home, but in the end, was left with no rights and no future of her own?












