I kept quiet for ages. Not because I hadn’t anything to say, but because I’d convinced myself that if I gritted my teeth and swallowed my pride, I’d somehow preserve peace in the family.
My daughter-in-law, Lily, took a dislike to me from day one. At first, I thought it was just banter, a bit of tongue-in-cheek needling. But soon it became a habit, and then, well, it was simply part of the daily timetable.
When she and my son, Oliver, tied the knot, I did everything a mother ought to. Gave them the good room, helped sort out furniture from IKEA, made the place feel like a home. Id reasoned, Theyre young, theyll figure things out. Ill just keep a low profile, make myself scarce.
But Lily didnt want me scarce; she seemed to prefer me non-existent.
Every attempt to lend a hand was met with her signature brand of disdain.
Leave it, Jane. Youre making a pigs ear of it.
Ill just do it myself. Properly, this time.
Will you ever learn?
Her remarks were quiet, polite almost, but they stung like nettles. Sometimes shed lace up her sarcasm in front of Oliver, sometimes with company, and sometimes so even the neighbours could hear, proudly showcasing her ability to put me in my place. Shed smile and her voice would turn honeyed sticky sweet, with a hint of venom.
So Id smile. Nod sagely. And keep up the charade, even when inside I wanted to bawl like a baby.
What hurt the most wasnt Lily herself it was Olivers silence. Hed pretend not to hear, fiddling on his phone or shrugging his shoulders. When we were alone, hed mutter, Mum, dont mind her. Thats just how she is ignore it.
Ignore it
How do you ignore it when your own house starts feeling like someone elses?
Some days, Id count the minutes until they left the house, just so I could breathe. Be myself. Not hear Lilys relentless commentary.
Shed begun treating me like some kind of live-in maid, one who ought to remain invisible and never utter a word.
Why have you left your mug here?
Why havent you binned this?
Why do you natter on so much, anyway?
I hardly spoke anymore.
One day, I made soup. Nothing grand. Just homemade, hot, the sort Ive always whipped up for the people I care about. I cooked to show love, simple as that.
Lily breezed into the kitchen, took the lid off the pot, had a sniff, and actually snickered.
Oh, whats this? Another one of your country messes, is it? Oh, cheers
And then she threw in something I can still hear as clear as the Big Ben chimes:
Honestly, if you werent here, everything would be easier.
Oliver was at the table. He heard. I watched his jaw clench, but, as always, he didnt say a word.
I turned away so neither of them could see my tears. Told myself, Dont cry. Dont let her have the satisfaction.
But Lily wasnt finished; she started in louder:
Youre just a burden! Everyone thinks so me, and him included!
I dont know why, but this time something snapped. Not in me, but in Oliver.
He pushed his chair back, slowly. Didnt slam it, didnt shout. He simply said:
Stop.
Lily froze.
What do you mean, stop? Im just being honest, she trilled, feigning innocence.
Oliver stood, not backing down, for the first time in his life:
The truth is, you belittle my mum. In the home shes kept running, with the hands that raised me.
Lily opened her mouth, but Oliver wasnt having it.
Ive bitten my tongue for too long. Thought thats what a man does keeps the peace. Turns out, all I was doing was allowing ugliness. And it ends now.
She went pale.
So youre picking her over me?!
And then Oliver said the most powerful thing Ive ever heard:
Im choosing respect. If you cant give it, youre in the wrong place.
Silence descended. Thick. Like every molecule of air had stopped moving.
Lily stomped off down the hall, slammed the bedroom door, and started grumbling from within. But I didnt care anymore.
Oliver turned to me, eyes glistening.
Mum Im sorry I left you on your own.
I couldnt reply straight away. I just sat down, hands shaking.
He knelt next to me, took my hands, just like he used to when he was a little lad.
You dont deserve this. No one has the right to humiliate you. Not even someone I love.
I cried then. But this time, not out of pain. Out of relief.
Because, finally, someone saw me.
Not as an inconvenience. Not as the old woman. But as Mum. As a person.
And yes, Id kept quiet for far too long but one day, my son spoke up for me.
Thats when I realised something important: sometimes, silence doesnt keep the peace it keeps cruelty hidden.
So tell me, do you reckon a mum ought to put up with humiliation for the sake of peace, or does keeping schtum just make the pain weigh heavier?












