Ive simply had enough of you lot turning up every weekend!
Perhaps you, too, have encountered that particular type of person who seems steadfastly convinced the world must revolve around them, and who doesnt give a fig about whatever plans you might have made. Such is my brother-in-law, whose entire family would descend upon us for the duration of every weekend. His brood included himself, his wife, their two children, and his wifes brothera whole troupe arriving at our doorstep for an impromptu sleepover. Never once did they even bother politely enquiring as to whether we might have plans, or whether we were able to accommodate them at all.
This circus went on for nearly a year, and I truly reached the end of my tether. Of course, I rather enjoy having company, but only within sensible limits. As it was, I soon realised I couldnt so much as run my own errands or simply enjoy a quiet rest after a particularly gruelling workweek.
Instead of unwinding, my weekends were spent endlessly tethered to the stove, making small talk, preparing their beds, and, after theyd finally trundled off home, scaling veritable mountains of laundry. Time and time again, Id ask myself if they were even aware how presumptuousand frankly rudeit was to turn up unannounced, even as family. Perhaps I wouldnt have minded so much were their visits infrequent, but three weekends out of four was simply unreasonable.
Neither my husband nor I ever imposed on other relatives in this fashion. It crossed my mind that perhaps we should repay the favourpop over to theirs a few times to grant them the privilege of experiencing such hospitality firsthand. I begged my husband to have a word, but he couldnt bring himself to do it, worried about wounding their sensibilitiesor perhaps he simply wasnt bothered. As he refused to help, I knew I must act for myself.
My first move was to stop cooking at weekends; the visitors then had to make do with the scraps and leftovers from the week. Should anything run out unexpectedly, I made it clear theyd have to fend for themselves. I, after all, could manage without a meal if needs be.
One Saturday, as they were all poised at the table, expectation written across their faces, I calmly explained that, today, there was nothing to eatso if any of them felt peckish, they were more than welcome to prepare something themselves. The dumbfounded silence was palpable, yet not a soul rose to the challenge; they simply sipped their tea and turned in for the night.
Additionally, I quit meticulously tidying the entire house before each of their visits. On one occasion, my brother-in-laws wife complained that her daughters white socksoddly enoughwere now a dreary grey. I told her, quite candidly, that I hadnt found the time to mop the floors, but if she was so troubled by the state of my house, shed find the mop and bucket ready and waiting in the bathroom. She never broached the subject again.
And, perhaps most crucially, I finally stopped putting myself last. I no longer altered my own plans simply because guests had descended upon us. At the end of the day, I am entitled to a life of my own, and I wish to spend my time with those I choose. When the family called round, Id sit with them for an hour, then excuse myself, explaining that I had other matters requiring my attention. If my husband wished to entertain his kin, he was perfectly welcome to do so. And on the rare occasions when I had no prior engagement, Id make a calculated show of diving into a thorough spring-clean, thus minimising my interactions as much as possible.
Once, after yet another of these gatherings, my brother-in-law turned to my husband and said, It appears our times up then, isnt it? How on earth he finally caught on, Ill never know. But ever since that day, they now only pay us a visit after first phoning aheadand even then, its only for the afternoon, never overnight, and blessedly seldom.
Have you ever faced anything of this sort, and if so, how did you untangle yourself from such a predicament?
