Monday, 12th February
Ever since our son got married, he barely pays us a visit. Its as if we hardly exist anymore. These days, hes always wrapped up in helping his mother-in-law, Margaret, who constantly seems to have some emergency or another. I honestly wonder how she ever managed before her daughter tied the knot with our son.
Our sons been married for just over two years now. After they wed, they moved out, settling into the flat wed bought him when he started university. Hes always had our support growing up, and even before getting married, hed lived on his own since his place was close to work.
Ill admit, I never quite took to my daughter-in-law, Emily. She always seemed a bit too immature for married life, though shes only a couple of years younger than him. Emily often acted like a spoilt child, fickle and sometimes rather petulant. Our son is a lovely lad, so I was left wondering how hed cope with what felt more like rearing a child than marrying a partner.
After meeting Emily and her mother Margaret, I realised what we were dealing with. Margaret is about my age but carries on more like a teenager. You must have met people like thatgrown adults who behave as though they never left school. Completely helpless, really. By the time of Emilys wedding, Margaret had notched up her sixth divorce.
We barely speak to her. Theres nothing in common between us at all; she lives somewhere in her own world. Communication doesnt go further than polite congratulations at the wedding and the odd formal greeting.
The warning signs came before the wedding when Emily started dragging our son round to her mothers constantlyfirst it was a leaky tap, then a faulty socket, next a kitchen shelf fallen off. I let it slide at first; theres no bloke around Margarets place, so a bit of help was understandable.
But the never-ending household crises didnt stop. Our son grew more and more distant, always telling us he was off to help Margaret with something or other. Suddenly, every family celebrationChristmas, Easter, birthdayswas at Margarets house. It was just me, my own father, and my mother-in-law left at our place, while the rest gathered round their table over there.
It was hard when he stopped coming to family dos, but it was worse when he ignored our own requests for help. Take the time we bought a new fridge. We asked him to help us bring it home. At first, he agreed, but then called to say he and Emily needed to go to her mothers because her washing machine was flooding.
When my wife rang our son, she overheard Emily mutter, Cant your parents just hire some movers? Our son did show up in the end, but by then he was seething.
He grumbled, Dad, surely you could have booked a removal firm? Now its down to me again!
It got me thinkingwhy couldnt Margaret call in a professional herself? Does she live in a world where tradesmen dont exist? Our son said she cant, because everyone keeps ripping her offtaking her money without fixing a thing.
My own father finally lost his temper. Maybe Margaret cant handle simple household appliances, but shes brilliant at leading someone up the garden path, isnt she? he snapped. Our son stormed out after that. I didnt butt intruth be told, Dad was spot on, because those in-laws have made a habit of leaning on our son for every little thing. Hes become their go-to man for plumbing and repairs, while we barely get to see him anymore.
Afterwards, our son blanked his grandfather for more than two weeks. Dad refused to be the first to make amends and, for his part, our son wont approach him unless he gets an apology. I feel completely tornon the one hand, Dads not wrong, but I wish hed been kinder with his words. Now our sons hurt and wont visit, and Im not prepared to lose him over something so trivial.
Neither of them is budging. Dad wont ring our son, and our son says he wont speak to Dad until theres an apology. And through all this, it seems the only one getting along swimmingly is Margaret.
As I sit here reflecting, I realise how easy it is for misunderstandingsoften over not much at allto create rifts in a family. Looking back, perhaps I should have spoken up and helped bridge the gap. If Ive learnt anything, its that stubbornness rarely fixes anything, and its never too late to reach out. Family, after all, should stick together, whatever the trials.












