I was twenty-two when we broke up. One afternoon, he told me he no longer felt the same way, that he needed something else. Just days later, I found out why through a mutual friend. She called me and asked,
Is it true hes seeing an older woman?
I was confused, so she elaborated, sending me a photo. There he was, in some pub, arms around a woman at least a decade older. It wasnt a rumour it was real. When people asked me what had happened, I didnt make excuses. I simply told them: He left me for someone much older.
That was when everything started.
A week later, I got a message on WhatsApp from another friend.
Hey, are you alright?
I responded, asking why she was checking in. She said,
Well hes saying odd things about you.
I didnt understand and asked her to explain. Apparently, hed been telling people that I was unhygienic, that I had smelly armpits, bad breath, and incredibly that hed seen nits in my hair. I just stared at my phone, numb, unsure what to say.
After that, even more comments trickled back to me. Another friend rang to tell me hed repeated those things at a house party, laughing about it with a group of people. Hed actually said,
You lot dont know what I went through.
And when someone asked why he hadnt ended things sooner, he replied,
Unfortunately.
I started noticing the stares. People who used to greet me normally now looked at me warily. A colleague whod always been a bit jealous handed me some deodorant Just in case, she said. It was extraordinary how quickly a lie could spread. Hed said it once, then kept repeating it, embellishing as he went.
I decided to send him a message.
Why are you saying those things about me?
He replied hours later:
You started lying about me.
I told him Id only ever told the truth that he was with another woman. He answered:
Thats none of anyones business.
He never denied what hed said. He didnt try to stop others gossiping. He made no effort to set the record straight. He simply let the story grow.
Meanwhile, he was out and about with this woman, insisting that no one mention the age difference. I was the collateral damage.
The relationship was over, but the fallout wouldnt die down for months. I had to change my social circle, avoid certain places, cut off anyone still parroting his stories. He moved on with his life.
Women, it seems, always bear the brunt when men feel insecure.
