I gave my surname to her children. Now Im bound to support them while she enjoys life with their biological father.
Let me tell you how I went from being the jolly chap to the official cash machine for two children who message me only when they want pocket money for the cinema, but ignore me come Christmas.
It all began three years ago. I met Carolinea wonderful woman, recently divorced, with two children aged 8 and 10. I fell head over heels. Completely besotted. She would always say to me, The children love you so much! And like a true fool, I believed her. Of course they loved meI was taking them to the fairground every weekend.
One day, in one of those conversations where people say things that will alter the course of their lives, Caroline sighed, It makes me sad that the children dont share their fathers surname. He never officially acknowledged them.
And, in what I now see as the most dazzling moment of idiocy in my life, I replied, Well I could adopt them. Theyre practically my own anyway.
Do you know that bit in old films where time freezes and a narrator says, It was then I realised this would not end well? I could have done with such a voice, but of course real life, unlike the films, is silent at those moments.
Caroline burst into happy tears. The children hugged me as though I were some great hero. I felt like one. A daft hero, but a hero nonetheless.
We went through it allsolicitors, offices, judges. The children officially became Sebastian Walker and Emily Walkerwith MY surname. I was thrilled. Caroline was delighted. We even held a small family ceremony with a cake.
Six months on. SIX.
Caroline said, We need to talk… I dont quite know how to put this, but… Tom has come back.
Tom who? I asked, but I already knew.
The children’s biological father. He says hes changed. Grown up. He wants his family back.
I was speechless. Literally lost for words.
And what are you planning to do?
Im going to give him a chance. For the sake of the children, you must understand.
Of course I understood. I understood as clearly as if someone had pointed out the exit with a neon sign.
But Caroline, I ADOPTED them. Theyre legally my children now.
Yes, yes… well sort that out later. What matters now is that the children have their father.
Well sort it out lateras if she was talking about a gas bill.
I went to see my solicitor. He nearly choked on his tea. You signed the full adoption?
Yes.
Then youre their father. With all the responsibilitiesmaintenance, schooling, healthcare, all of it.
But Im no longer with their mother
Makes no difference. You are their father. Thats English law.
And here I am nowpaying maintenance to Caroline, who happily lives with Tom in MY flat. Because the children need stability and shouldnt have to move.
My own flat. Paid for by me. Yet I had to leave because, apparently, it was too distressing for the children.
The most ridiculous bit? Tomthe absentee father who hadnt contributed a penny for yearsnow takes them to the park, to football, and is hailed as the family hero. And every month, I get an email from my solicitor: Maintenance transferred: £XXX, usually with a sad little emoji, which doesnt help a jot.
Last month, Sebastian messaged me, Hi, could you send me a bit more? I want new trainers. Cant Tom buy them? I asked. He says youre my legal dad. Hes just my dad at heart.
A dad at heart. How convenient. Im the dad at the bank.
As for reversing the adoptionthats near impossible. The court would see me as the villain, the man who abandoned his children.
Even my friends have stopped pitying me.
Mate, at what point did you think this was a good idea?
I was in love.
Falling in love shouldnt mean you lose all sense.
Hes right.
Now, when I see a chap out with a woman and her children, I want to shout: DONT SIGN! BE FUN UNCLE, BOYFRIEND, WHATEVERbut DONT SIGN!
My mother just said, Love made you foolish, and hugged me in a way that hurt even more.
Just yesterday again: Extra school expenses £XXX. Extra, as though school appeared out of nowhere every year.
Meanwhile Caroline posts photos of their happy family. Children with MY surname, standing beside the man whod left them behind.
And the best bit? Emily (aged 10, yes, she has Instagram already) has written in her bio: Daughter of Caroline and Tom
My name? Nowhere.
Im simply the anonymous benefactor funding their lives.
So here I am nowalone, £500 lighter each month, with two children who message only when they need cash, and the cold, clear understanding that, out of love, I made the greatest blunder of my life.
The only comfort? When people ask if I have children, I can say yes and regale them with this little tale at the dinner table. Everyone laughs.
Only I cryon the inside.
And you? Have you ever signed anything for love that ended up costing you dearly or am I the only fool who handed over both his surname and his bank account in one reckless gesture?












