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I Gave My Surname to Her Kids—Now I’m Legally Required to Support Them While She Lives Happily Ever After with Their Biological Dad Let Me Tell You How I Went From ‘Fun Guy’ to Official Bank of Two Children Who Only Message Me for Cinema Money and Ignore Me at Christmas It All Began Three Years Ago When I Met Marianne—An Amazing, Divorced Woman with Two Kids Aged 8 and 10. I Fell Head Over Heels. She Kept Telling Me: “The Kids Adore You!” Of Course They Did—I Took Them to Theme Parks Every Weekend. One Day, In One of Those Life-Changing Conversations, Marianne Said: — “It Breaks My Heart the Kids Don’t Share Their Dad’s Surname. He Never Officially Acknowledged Them.” In a Shining (Sarcastic) Moment, I Replied: — “Well… I Could Adopt Them. They Already Feel Like My Own.” You Know That Film Moment Where Time Stops and a Voiceover Says, “This Will End Badly”? I Didn’t Get That Warning. I Should Have. Marianne Burst into Happy Tears, the Kids Hugged Me—A Hero. A Foolish Hero, but Still. After Lawyers, Solicitors, and Judges, the Kids Became Sebastian Williams and Camilla Williams—WITH MY SURNAME. We Even Had a Little ‘Family Ceremony’ with Cake. Six Months Later. SIX. Marianne Says: — “We Need to Talk… I Don’t Know How to Say This, But… Mike’s Back.” — “Mike Who?” — “The Kids’ Biological Dad. He’s Changed. He Wants His Family Back.” I Was Speechless. — “What Are You Going To Do?” — “I’m Giving Him a Chance. For the Kids, You Understand?” Of Course, I Understood. Like Someone Was Shoving Me Out With a Neon Exit Sign. — “Marianne, I ADOPTED Them. They’re Legally My Children.” — “Yes, Yes… We’ll Sort That Later. Right Now the Kids Need Their Dad.” “We’ll Sort That Later”—Like It’s an Electricity Bill. My Solicitor Nearly Choked on His Coffee: — “You Signed Full Adoption?” — “Yes.” — “Then You’re Their Father—All the Legal Responsibilities: Child Support, School, Healthcare. Everything.” — “But I’m Not with Their Mum…” — “Doesn’t Matter. You’re Their Dad. That’s the Law.” So Here I Am—Paying Maintenance to Marianne, Who Now Happily Lives with Mike in MY Flat—Because “Children Need Stability and Shouldn’t Have to Move.” MY Flat. Paid By Me. But I Had to Leave Because “It Would Be Too Traumatic for the Kids.” The Craziest Part? Mike—the Phantom Dad Who Never Paid a Penny—Now Kicks a Ball in the Park and Is the Family Hero. And Me? I Get Monthly Emails from the Solicitor: “Child Support Payment: £XXX” With a Sad Emoji. Yeah, That Helps. Last Month Sebastian Messaged: — “Hi, Can You Send Some Extra? I Want New Trainers.” — “Can’t Mike Buy Them?” — “He Says You’re My Legal Dad. He’s Just ‘Dad by Heart.’” Dad by Heart. How Convenient. I’m the Dad by Direct Debit. Adoption Is Almost Impossible to Reverse. The Court Would Paint Me as the Villain Trying to ‘Abandon the Children.’ My Friends Have Stopped Pitying Me: — “Mate, When Did You Think This Was a Good Idea?” — “I Was in Love.” — “Being In Love Shouldn’t Turn Off Your Brain Completely.” He’s Right. Now Any Time I See Someone Dating a Single Mum or Dad, I Want to Shout: “DON’T SIGN ANYTHING! BE THE FUN UNCLE, THE PARTNER—JUST DON’T SIGN!” My Mum Just Said: “Love Made You Foolish,” And Gave Me a Hug That Hurt Even More. Yesterday Again: “Unexpected School Supply Costs—£XXX” Unexpected. Like School Isn’t Every Year. And Marianne Posts Pictures of Her “Happy Family”—The Kids, MY Surname, Next to the Dad Who Abandoned Them. The Best Bit? Camilla (At 10, Yes, She’s Got Instagram…) Wrote in Her Bio: “Daughter of Marianne & Mike ❤️” My Name? Nowhere. I’m Just the Anonymous Sponsor of Their Lives. So Here I Am—Single, £500 Down Each Month, with Two “Children” Who Message Only for Money, Knowing I Made the Biggest Mistake of My Life Out of Love. The Only Silver Lining? When People Ask If I Have Kids, I Can Say “Yes” and Share this Story Over Dinner. Everyone Laughs. Inside—I’m the Only One Crying. So—Have You Ever Signed Something ‘For Love’ and Paid the Price… Or Am I the Only ‘Genius’ Who Gifted Both a Surname and a Bank Account in One Special Offer?

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I gave my surname to her children. Now Im bound to support them while she enjoys life with their biological father.

Let me tell you how I went from being the jolly chap to the official cash machine for two children who message me only when they want pocket money for the cinema, but ignore me come Christmas.

It all began three years ago. I met Carolinea wonderful woman, recently divorced, with two children aged 8 and 10. I fell head over heels. Completely besotted. She would always say to me, The children love you so much! And like a true fool, I believed her. Of course they loved meI was taking them to the fairground every weekend.

One day, in one of those conversations where people say things that will alter the course of their lives, Caroline sighed, It makes me sad that the children dont share their fathers surname. He never officially acknowledged them.

And, in what I now see as the most dazzling moment of idiocy in my life, I replied, Well I could adopt them. Theyre practically my own anyway.

Do you know that bit in old films where time freezes and a narrator says, It was then I realised this would not end well? I could have done with such a voice, but of course real life, unlike the films, is silent at those moments.

Caroline burst into happy tears. The children hugged me as though I were some great hero. I felt like one. A daft hero, but a hero nonetheless.

We went through it allsolicitors, offices, judges. The children officially became Sebastian Walker and Emily Walkerwith MY surname. I was thrilled. Caroline was delighted. We even held a small family ceremony with a cake.

Six months on. SIX.

Caroline said, We need to talk… I dont quite know how to put this, but… Tom has come back.

Tom who? I asked, but I already knew.

The children’s biological father. He says hes changed. Grown up. He wants his family back.

I was speechless. Literally lost for words.

And what are you planning to do?

Im going to give him a chance. For the sake of the children, you must understand.

Of course I understood. I understood as clearly as if someone had pointed out the exit with a neon sign.

But Caroline, I ADOPTED them. Theyre legally my children now.

Yes, yes… well sort that out later. What matters now is that the children have their father.

Well sort it out lateras if she was talking about a gas bill.

I went to see my solicitor. He nearly choked on his tea. You signed the full adoption?

Yes.

Then youre their father. With all the responsibilitiesmaintenance, schooling, healthcare, all of it.

But Im no longer with their mother

Makes no difference. You are their father. Thats English law.

And here I am nowpaying maintenance to Caroline, who happily lives with Tom in MY flat. Because the children need stability and shouldnt have to move.

My own flat. Paid for by me. Yet I had to leave because, apparently, it was too distressing for the children.

The most ridiculous bit? Tomthe absentee father who hadnt contributed a penny for yearsnow takes them to the park, to football, and is hailed as the family hero. And every month, I get an email from my solicitor: Maintenance transferred: £XXX, usually with a sad little emoji, which doesnt help a jot.

Last month, Sebastian messaged me, Hi, could you send me a bit more? I want new trainers. Cant Tom buy them? I asked. He says youre my legal dad. Hes just my dad at heart.

A dad at heart. How convenient. Im the dad at the bank.

As for reversing the adoptionthats near impossible. The court would see me as the villain, the man who abandoned his children.

Even my friends have stopped pitying me.

Mate, at what point did you think this was a good idea?

I was in love.

Falling in love shouldnt mean you lose all sense.

Hes right.

Now, when I see a chap out with a woman and her children, I want to shout: DONT SIGN! BE FUN UNCLE, BOYFRIEND, WHATEVERbut DONT SIGN!

My mother just said, Love made you foolish, and hugged me in a way that hurt even more.

Just yesterday again: Extra school expenses £XXX. Extra, as though school appeared out of nowhere every year.

Meanwhile Caroline posts photos of their happy family. Children with MY surname, standing beside the man whod left them behind.

And the best bit? Emily (aged 10, yes, she has Instagram already) has written in her bio: Daughter of Caroline and Tom

My name? Nowhere.

Im simply the anonymous benefactor funding their lives.

So here I am nowalone, £500 lighter each month, with two children who message only when they need cash, and the cold, clear understanding that, out of love, I made the greatest blunder of my life.

The only comfort? When people ask if I have children, I can say yes and regale them with this little tale at the dinner table. Everyone laughs.

Only I cryon the inside.

And you? Have you ever signed anything for love that ended up costing you dearly or am I the only fool who handed over both his surname and his bank account in one reckless gesture?

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Let him scowl, grumble, and act up, so long as he stayed—right there, in his favourite armchair, having dinner, breathing beside her. Desperate for words to save her life (really, just her life), Marina didn’t sleep till morning. Out of despair, she fetched the wedding album: young, so beautiful, so much ahead! Many had wished to call her their own. Her husband should remember this. She hoped he’d see those fragments of their old happiness and realise—some things cannot be thrown away. But he came back only on Sunday, and she saw: it was over. Before her, a different Max. He was charged with adrenaline; awkwardness and shame were gone. Unlike her, fearing change, he craved and embraced it. Even planned it. He spoke in a tone that brooked no dissent. From now on, Marina should consider herself free. He’d file for divorce tomorrow. Himself. The son’s family was to move in with her—according to the law: the double-bedroom flat belonged to Max, inherited. Family games. 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Intelligent, pleasant, even considerate in bed. She liked that there were no rented flats, no cash struggles, no theft. All pluses? Well, she had doubts over his age. After a year together, disappointment grew. She still felt young, craved excitement—frequent, not once a year and dignified. She loved concerts, dreamed of waterparks, sunbathing in bold swimsuits, meetups with friends. Her youth and energy meant juggling all that with housework and family was easy. Even her son, now living with her, didn’t slow her down. But Max was clearly flagging. At work, the expert legal manager handled endless tasks briskly; at home, she got a tired man who mostly wanted quiet and respect for his habits. Guests, theatre, beach—allowed, but only in small doses. He was open to intimacy, but then straight to sleep—even at 9pm. Plus, she had to account for his sensitive stomach—no fried food, sausages, supermarket ready meals. The ex-wife had spoiled him. He even felt nostalgic at times for her steamed meals. Asya cooked to suit her son, couldn’t understand why pork cutlets made his side ache. She couldn’t memorise his tablets list either—surely a grown man could sort his own meds. Gradually, part of her life happened without him. She took her son as a companion, choosing activities to suit him, teamed up with friends. Oddly, her husband’s age spurred her to live faster. They didn’t work together anymore—the directors found it unseemly, and Asya switched to a notary office. She felt relieved not to spend all day with her husband—he was starting to remind her of her father. Respect—that’s what Asya felt for Maxim. Was that too little or just enough for two people to be happy? Max’s sixtieth loomed, and Asya craved a lavish celebration. But her husband booked a table in a familiar, modest restaurant, one he’d visited often. He seemed bored, but that’s normal at his age, she thought. Colleagues toasted the birthday boy. Old family friends from the Marina years—it was awkward to invite them; family was far away, and they hadn’t understood his marriage to a much younger woman. His own son had cut him off. But doesn’t a father have the right to live his life as he chooses? Honestly, when marrying, he’d thought “choosing” would look rather different. That first year with Asya was a honeymoon. He enjoyed being in public with her, encouraging her to spend (not too much), keep up with friends, do fitness classes. He coped with concerts, wild movies, made Asya and her son co-owners of his flat. Later, he even gave her his half of the cottage, previously shared with Marina. Meanwhile, Asya, behind his back, persuaded Marina to sell her half, threatening to offload it to unsavoury buyers. Buying it (of course with Max’s money), she registered the place solely to herself. Her rationale: the river, the woodland—perfect for children. Now, for summer, Asya’s parents and her son moved in at the cottage. In fairness, this worked well: Max was not fond of the boy, who was noisy and lively. He’d married for love, not to raise another’s offspring. The old family took offence. After getting the money, they sold their own three-bed and went separate ways—his son’s family found a two-bed, Marina downsized to a studio. Max didn’t care how they lived. Family games. *** Now, Max’s sixtieth: so many wished him health, happiness, love. But he was missing the spark. Each year brought that familiar discontent. He loved his young wife, sure. But couldn’t keep pace with her, that was it. And to “press down”, to rule her, didn’t work. She’d smile and live in her own way. Never crossed a line—he could feel it, but it frustrated him. If only he could transplant his ex-wife’s soul into Asya! Someone who’d bring him chamomile tea, tuck him in if he dozed off. Max would love slow walks in the park together, late-night kitchen chats—but Asya couldn’t bear his long stories, and seemed to be bored in bed now. He grew anxious, which didn’t help. Max kept inside his regret at rushing the divorce. Wise men turn lovers into rare treats; he’d made his into a wife. Asya, with her temperament, maybe ten more years would stay the playful filly. But even at forty, she’d still be much younger than him. That gulf would only widen. If he was lucky, perhaps life would end quickly—but if not? Such “un-festive” thoughts pounded, making his heart race. He scanned for Asya—there she was, dancing, radiant. Happy, though, of course—it’s wonderful to wake with her beside him. Gift baskets. Seizing the moment, he slipped out of the restaurant, longing for air, to shake off the gloom. But colleagues flocked over. Uncertain how to deal with the growing pain inside, he bolted for the waiting taxi and urged the driver to hurry. He’d decide the destination later. He yearned for somewhere he was truly appreciated—where arriving meant someone was waiting just for him. Where his time was cherished, he could relax, never feel old or weak or foolish. He rang his son, pleading for his ex-wife’s new address. Receiving a bit of well-earned scorn, he insisted—this was a matter of life and death. He let slip it was his birthday, after all. His son softened slightly and said his mum might not be alone. No boyfriend—just a friend. “Mum said they went to school together. The surname’s—something funny, Bulkovich?” “Bulkevich,” Max corrected, jealousy flaring. Yes, he’d fancied her once—many did. She was beautiful, bold. She’d planned to marry Bulkevich, but Max stole her away. Long ago, but yesterday enough to feel more real than life with Asya. His son asked, “Why do you want it, Dad?” The word “Dad” startled Max, and he realised how much he missed them all. So he answered honestly: “I don’t know, son.” Son gave him the new address. The driver stopped. Max got out—he didn’t want to speak with Marina in front of witnesses. He checked the time: nearly nine—she was an owl, who also was his lark. He buzzed at the door. But the answer was a muffled male voice—not his ex-wife’s. She was busy. “What’s wrong with her? Is she okay?” Max inquired, nervous. The voice demanded his name. “I’m her husband—even now! You must be Mr Bulkewich!” Max snapped. “‘Mr’? You’re her ex-husband, so you have no rights to bother Marina,” came the reply. Didn’t bother explaining: the friend was just taking a bath. “What, old flames never rust?” Max asked, gearing up for a long spat with Bulkewich. But he only replied, “No, they turn to silver.” Max never got through that door…
06
— Dad, please meet my future wife—and your daughter-in-law—Barbara! Boris beamed with happiness. — Who?! — Professor Roman Philipson, Doctor of Science, asked in surprise. — If this is a joke, it’s not very funny! He eyed the “daughter-in-law’s” rough fingers with distaste, especially her nails. It seemed to him this girl had never heard of soap and water—how else to explain that ingrained dirt under her nails? “My God! How lucky my Lara didn’t live to see this disgrace. We tried so hard to teach Boris the best manners,” raced through his mind. — I’m not joking! — Boris declared defiantly. — Barbara will be staying with us, and in three months we’re getting married. If you won’t participate in your son’s wedding, I’ll manage without you! — Hello! — smiled Barbara, striding confidently to the kitchen. — Here are pies, raspberry jam, dried mushrooms… — she listed foods pulled from a well-worn tote. Roman Philipson clutched his heart as Barbara ruined his pristine, hand-embroidered tablecloth with spilled jam. — Boris! Come to your senses! If you’re doing this just to spite me—it’s not worth it… It’s too cruel! What backwater did you bring this uncouth girl from? I won’t let her live under my roof! — the professor cried in despair. — I love Barbara. My wife has every right to live in my home! — Boris smirked mockingly. Roman Philipson knew his son was tormenting him. Not wishing to argue further, he silently retreated to his room. Relations with his son had changed drastically since his wife’s death. Boris had become unruly, dropped out of university, spoke rudely to his father, and led a wild, reckless life. Roman Philipson hoped his son would change—become thoughtful and kind once more. But each day Boris grew farther apart. And now, Boris had brought this village girl home, knowing full well his father would never approve… Soon Boris and Barbara were married. Roman Philipson refused to attend the wedding and accept the unwelcome daughter-in-law. He was bitter that the place of Lara—the perfect homemaker, wife, and mother—was now filled by this uneducated girl who struggled to string two sentences together. Barbara seemed oblivious to her father-in-law’s dislike, trying to please him—but only making matters worse. He saw no good in her, only poor manners and ignorance… After his stint as the model husband, Boris resumed drinking and partying. His father often overheard their quarrels, secretly pleased—hoping Barbara would leave the house for good. One day, Barbara burst in crying. — Roman Philipson! Boris wants a divorce, and he’s throwing me out in the street. Plus, I’m expecting a child! — Why out on the street? You’re not homeless.… Go back to wherever you came from. Being pregnant doesn’t entitle you to stay here after a divorce. Sorry, but I won’t interfere in your relationship, — the man said, inwardly rejoicing that he’d finally be rid of the annoying daughter-in-law. Barbara packed in despair, unable to understand why her father-in-law hated her from the start, or why Boris had treated her like a pet then cast her out. So what if she was just a village girl? She had a heart and feelings too… *** Eight years passed… Roman Philipson was living in a nursing home. In recent years, the elderly man had grown frail, and Boris had quickly took the opportunity to send him away—relieving himself of any further trouble. Resigned, the old man accepted his fate, knowing there was no other way. He’d taught thousands of students love, respect, and care. He still received letters of thanks from former pupils. But he’d failed to raise his own son to be a decent person… — Roman, you have guests, — his roommate said, returning from a walk. — Who? Boris? — the old man blurted out, though deep down he knew it was impossible; his son would never visit—his bitterness toward his father ran deep… — Don’t know. The nurse told me to come get you. What are you sitting there for? Run along! — his roommate smiled. Roman took his cane and slowly made his way out of the small, stuffy room. Descending the stairs, he saw her from afar—and instantly recognised her, though it had been years since their last meeting. — Hello, Barbara, — he said softly, head bowed. Perhaps he still felt guilt over not defending that sincere, simple girl all those years ago… — Roman Philipson?! — the rosy-cheeked woman was startled. — You’ve changed so much… Are you ill? — A little…, — he smiled sadly. — How did you find me? — Boris told me. You know, he refuses to speak to his son. But the boy keeps asking to visit his dad—and his granddad… Ivan’s not to blame that you won’t acknowledge him. He desperately needs family. It’s just the two of us…, — Barbara said with a trembling voice. — Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have disturbed you. — Wait! — the old man pleaded. — How old is Ivan now? I remember your last photo—he was only three. — He’s just at the entrance. Shall I call him? — Barbara asked, hesitantly. — Of course, dear, bring him in! — Roman Philipson brightened. In came a ginger-haired boy—Boris’s spitting image in miniature. Ivan hesitantly approached the grandfather he’d never met. — Hello, sonny! You’ve grown so much…, — the old man teared up, embracing his grandson. They talked for ages, strolling through the autumn park beside the nursing home. Barbara spoke of her tough life—about losing her mother young and raising her son and farm alone. — Forgive me, Barbara. I owe you a great apology. For all my learning and education, it’s only now I understand—people should be valued not for wit and manners, but for their sincerity and kindness, — the old man said. — Roman Philipson, we’d like to make a suggestion, — Barbara smiled, nervous and stammering. — Come live with us! You’re alone, and so are we… It’s so important to have family close by. — Granddad, come on! We can go fishing together and hunt mushrooms in the forest… Our village is beautiful, and there’s plenty of room at home! — Ivan pleaded, not letting go of his grandfather’s hand. — Alright! — Roman Philipson smiled. — I missed my chance with Boris, but maybe I can give you what I couldn’t give your father. Besides, I’ve never been to the countryside—maybe I’ll like it! — You’ll love it! — Ivan laughed.
012
While Waiting for the Bus: A London Autumn, a Chance Encounter, and How Missing the Number 24 Changed Everything
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Recently I Visited My Daughter-in-Law, and Was Shocked to Find Another Woman Responsible for the Housework and Cleaning I Always Told My Son That His Future Wife’s Financial Status Didn’t Matter to Us—So He Happily Married Mary, Who Never Had Much Money and Was Generally Spoiled by Life After the Wedding, the Kids Moved into the House We Bought and Renovated for Them, and My Husband and I Have Been Helping Them Financially and Bringing Them Groceries—My Daughter-in-Law Just Had My Grandchild, Isn’t Working Right Now, and My Son’s Job Isn’t Amazing or High-Paying So Imagine How I Felt When I Walked In, Only to Find a Stranger Cleaning the House—My Daughter-in-Law Hired a Housekeeper, but She Doesn’t Lift a Finger Herself! How Can She Afford This? Doesn’t She Have Any Shame? I Drove the Cleaner Away—After All, It’s Still My House, and She Was Cleaning with My Money! Where Would My Son and Daughter-in-Law Get the Money for a Housekeeper Anyway? I Waited for My Daughter-in-Law, Who Was Out with My Grandchild, and Didn’t Delay the Conversation When She Returned—She Told Me, “Mum, I Became a Blogger During My Maternity Leave and Actually Earn a Good Income, Plus I Really Need the Cleaner Since I Work So Much!” But What Even Is a Blogger? Is That a Real Job? Can You Really Earn Money Like That? I Don’t Want a Stranger Cleaning My House. I Told Her, “If You Have So Much Money, Pay Me Instead and I’ll Clean—No Need for Strangers Here!” She Just Mumbled and Went Off to Feed My Grandson—I Waited for My Son to Tell Him the Family News, and He Said, “Mum, I Knew About the Cleaner. Mary Works Very Hard, and I Want to Spend Time with Our Son After Work—So I Have No Objection.” I Just Don’t Understand Young People—How Can They Afford This? I Rushed Off to My Husband, and You Know What He Said? “You Shouldn’t Interfere in the Young Couple’s Lives! They’re Adults—Let Them Sort It Out Themselves!” I Haven’t Been This Angry in Ages—I’m Convinced I’m Doing and Saying the Right Thing! What Do You Think?
01
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I Gave My Surname to Her Kids—Now I’m Legally Required to Support Them While She Lives Happily Ever After with Their Biological Dad Let Me Tell You How I Went From ‘Fun Guy’ to Official Bank of Two Children Who Only Message Me for Cinema Money and Ignore Me at Christmas It All Began Three Years Ago When I Met Marianne—An Amazing, Divorced Woman with Two Kids Aged 8 and 10. I Fell Head Over Heels. She Kept Telling Me: “The Kids Adore You!” Of Course They Did—I Took Them to Theme Parks Every Weekend. One Day, In One of Those Life-Changing Conversations, Marianne Said: — “It Breaks My Heart the Kids Don’t Share Their Dad’s Surname. He Never Officially Acknowledged Them.” In a Shining (Sarcastic) Moment, I Replied: — “Well… I Could Adopt Them. They Already Feel Like My Own.” You Know That Film Moment Where Time Stops and a Voiceover Says, “This Will End Badly”? I Didn’t Get That Warning. I Should Have. Marianne Burst into Happy Tears, the Kids Hugged Me—A Hero. A Foolish Hero, but Still. After Lawyers, Solicitors, and Judges, the Kids Became Sebastian Williams and Camilla Williams—WITH MY SURNAME. We Even Had a Little ‘Family Ceremony’ with Cake. Six Months Later. SIX. Marianne Says: — “We Need to Talk… I Don’t Know How to Say This, But… Mike’s Back.” — “Mike Who?” — “The Kids’ Biological Dad. He’s Changed. He Wants His Family Back.” I Was Speechless. — “What Are You Going To Do?” — “I’m Giving Him a Chance. For the Kids, You Understand?” Of Course, I Understood. Like Someone Was Shoving Me Out With a Neon Exit Sign. — “Marianne, I ADOPTED Them. They’re Legally My Children.” — “Yes, Yes… We’ll Sort That Later. Right Now the Kids Need Their Dad.” “We’ll Sort That Later”—Like It’s an Electricity Bill. My Solicitor Nearly Choked on His Coffee: — “You Signed Full Adoption?” — “Yes.” — “Then You’re Their Father—All the Legal Responsibilities: Child Support, School, Healthcare. Everything.” — “But I’m Not with Their Mum…” — “Doesn’t Matter. You’re Their Dad. That’s the Law.” So Here I Am—Paying Maintenance to Marianne, Who Now Happily Lives with Mike in MY Flat—Because “Children Need Stability and Shouldn’t Have to Move.” MY Flat. Paid By Me. But I Had to Leave Because “It Would Be Too Traumatic for the Kids.” The Craziest Part? Mike—the Phantom Dad Who Never Paid a Penny—Now Kicks a Ball in the Park and Is the Family Hero. And Me? I Get Monthly Emails from the Solicitor: “Child Support Payment: £XXX” With a Sad Emoji. Yeah, That Helps. Last Month Sebastian Messaged: — “Hi, Can You Send Some Extra? I Want New Trainers.” — “Can’t Mike Buy Them?” — “He Says You’re My Legal Dad. He’s Just ‘Dad by Heart.’” Dad by Heart. How Convenient. I’m the Dad by Direct Debit. Adoption Is Almost Impossible to Reverse. The Court Would Paint Me as the Villain Trying to ‘Abandon the Children.’ My Friends Have Stopped Pitying Me: — “Mate, When Did You Think This Was a Good Idea?” — “I Was in Love.” — “Being In Love Shouldn’t Turn Off Your Brain Completely.” He’s Right. Now Any Time I See Someone Dating a Single Mum or Dad, I Want to Shout: “DON’T SIGN ANYTHING! BE THE FUN UNCLE, THE PARTNER—JUST DON’T SIGN!” My Mum Just Said: “Love Made You Foolish,” And Gave Me a Hug That Hurt Even More. Yesterday Again: “Unexpected School Supply Costs—£XXX” Unexpected. Like School Isn’t Every Year. And Marianne Posts Pictures of Her “Happy Family”—The Kids, MY Surname, Next to the Dad Who Abandoned Them. The Best Bit? Camilla (At 10, Yes, She’s Got Instagram…) Wrote in Her Bio: “Daughter of Marianne & Mike ❤️” My Name? Nowhere. I’m Just the Anonymous Sponsor of Their Lives. So Here I Am—Single, £500 Down Each Month, with Two “Children” Who Message Only for Money, Knowing I Made the Biggest Mistake of My Life Out of Love. The Only Silver Lining? When People Ask If I Have Kids, I Can Say “Yes” and Share this Story Over Dinner. Everyone Laughs. Inside—I’m the Only One Crying. So—Have You Ever Signed Something ‘For Love’ and Paid the Price… Or Am I the Only ‘Genius’ Who Gifted Both a Surname and a Bank Account in One Special Offer?