“You Have to Let Me Know First! I Didn’t Prepare Anything! Do You Even Realise How Expensive It Is to Host Guests?” – My Mother-in-Law Yelled I’m an ordinary working daughter-in-law, nothing special, no crown on my head. My husband and I live in our own flat in the city, which we pay for ourselves – mortgage, bills, work from dawn till dusk. My mother-in-law lives in the countryside, as does my sister-in-law. All would be well, except they’ve decided our flat is their weekend holiday resort. At first it sounded quite sweet: “We’ll pop round on Saturday.” “Just for a bit.” “We are family, after all.” Except “a bit” means overnight stays, “pop round” means arriving with bags, empty pots, and expectant looks, waiting for a feast. Every weekend, it’s the same: after work, I run round shops, cook, clean, lay the table, smile, and spend half the night washing dishes and tidying up. Valentina Ivanovna sits and comments: “Why isn’t there sweetcorn in the salad?” “I like my borscht richer.” “We don’t do things this way back in the village.” And my sister-in-law adds: “Oh, I’m so tired from the journey.” “No dessert?” And never once: “Thank you”, “Can I help?” One day, I snapped and told my husband: “I’m not a housemaid, and I don’t want to serve your family every weekend.” “Maybe we should really do something about this.” That’s when an idea struck me. Next time, mother-in-law calls: “We’re coming round on Saturday.” “Oh, we’ve got plans for the weekend,” I say calmly. “What plans?” “Just our own.” And you know what? We really did go out – not to our ‘plans’, but to Valentina Ivanovna’s. Saturday morning, my husband and I are standing in her yard. My mother-in-law opens the door – and freezes. “What’s this?!” “We’ve come to visit you. Just for a bit.” “You have to let me know first! I didn’t prepare anything! Do you even realise how expensive it is to host guests?!” I look at her and respond quietly: “See, that’s how I live every weekend.” “So you wanted to teach me a lesson?! How rude!” She shouted so much, the neighbours came out to see, and we went home. Funny thing? Ever since – not a single visit without an invitation. No more “we’ll just pop round” and no more weekends in my kitchen. Sometimes, to be heard, you just have to show people what it’s like to be in your shoes. Do you think I did the right thing? What would you do in my situation?

You cant just turn up without warning, I havent prepared anything! Do you realise how much it costs to host guests? my mother-in-law shouts.

Im the daughter-in-law, nothing special, just a regular working woman with no airs about me. My husband and I live in our own flat in London, and we manage it ourselves mortgage, bills, both of us working all hours, barely a moment to breathe.

My mother-in-law lives out in the countryside, along with my sister-in-law. All would be well, except theyve decided our flat is the perfect spot for a weekend getaway. At first, it sounded quite sweet:

Well pop round on Saturday.

Just for a bit.

Were family, after all.

Yeah, just for a bit somehow means staying the night; pop round really means turning up with bags, empty pots and pans, and hungry looks expecting a feast.

Every weekend is déjà vu: after work, Im dashing round Sainsburys, cooking, tidying up, setting the table, pretending Im delighted, and then half the night scrubbing dishes and cleaning. Valerie, my mother-in-law, sits there and passes comment:

Whys the salad missing sweetcorn?

I like stew more hearty than this.

We never do it this way back in the village.

And my sister-in-law chips in:

Oh, Im exhausted after the train journey.

No pudding tonight?

And never a single thank you or Can I help?

One evening, I finally lost it and said to my husband:

Im not your familys housemaid, and I dont fancy spending every weekend catering for them.

Maybe youre right, we should do something.

That gave me a spark of an idea.

Next time Valerie called:

Were coming to yours on Saturday.

Oh, we actually have plans this weekend, I reply calmly.

What sort of plans?

Just our own.

And do you know what? We really did have plans but our plans were to visit Valerie instead. Saturday morning, my husband and I stood on her front lawn. She opened the door and froze.

Whats all this?!

Weve come to yours. Just for a bit.

You could have at least warned me, I havent made a thing! Do you know how expensive it is to host people?

I looked at her and replied quietly:

You see, thats exactly how Ive been living every weekend.

So youre teaching me a lesson?! The cheek!

She shouted so loud, the neighbours all peeked out, and we went straight home.

And you know the best part? Since then, Ive not had a single uninvited visit. No more well just pop round, no more weekends spent in my kitchen. Sometimes, the only way people understand is if you show them what its like to walk in your shoes.

Do you think I did the right thing? What would you do if you were in my place?

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“You Have to Let Me Know First! I Didn’t Prepare Anything! Do You Even Realise How Expensive It Is to Host Guests?” – My Mother-in-Law Yelled I’m an ordinary working daughter-in-law, nothing special, no crown on my head. My husband and I live in our own flat in the city, which we pay for ourselves – mortgage, bills, work from dawn till dusk. My mother-in-law lives in the countryside, as does my sister-in-law. All would be well, except they’ve decided our flat is their weekend holiday resort. At first it sounded quite sweet: “We’ll pop round on Saturday.” “Just for a bit.” “We are family, after all.” Except “a bit” means overnight stays, “pop round” means arriving with bags, empty pots, and expectant looks, waiting for a feast. Every weekend, it’s the same: after work, I run round shops, cook, clean, lay the table, smile, and spend half the night washing dishes and tidying up. Valentina Ivanovna sits and comments: “Why isn’t there sweetcorn in the salad?” “I like my borscht richer.” “We don’t do things this way back in the village.” And my sister-in-law adds: “Oh, I’m so tired from the journey.” “No dessert?” And never once: “Thank you”, “Can I help?” One day, I snapped and told my husband: “I’m not a housemaid, and I don’t want to serve your family every weekend.” “Maybe we should really do something about this.” That’s when an idea struck me. Next time, mother-in-law calls: “We’re coming round on Saturday.” “Oh, we’ve got plans for the weekend,” I say calmly. “What plans?” “Just our own.” And you know what? We really did go out – not to our ‘plans’, but to Valentina Ivanovna’s. Saturday morning, my husband and I are standing in her yard. My mother-in-law opens the door – and freezes. “What’s this?!” “We’ve come to visit you. Just for a bit.” “You have to let me know first! I didn’t prepare anything! Do you even realise how expensive it is to host guests?!” I look at her and respond quietly: “See, that’s how I live every weekend.” “So you wanted to teach me a lesson?! How rude!” She shouted so much, the neighbours came out to see, and we went home. Funny thing? Ever since – not a single visit without an invitation. No more “we’ll just pop round” and no more weekends in my kitchen. Sometimes, to be heard, you just have to show people what it’s like to be in your shoes. Do you think I did the right thing? What would you do in my situation?