I Just Want to Go Home, Son: Victor’s Lonely Balcony, Cruel Choices and the Bittersweet Triumph of Friendship in Old Age

Author Emily TaylorReading 9 minViews 1

I do miss home so much, my dear boy.

John Peterson stepped out onto the balcony, lit up a cigarette, and slumped onto the old, low stool. A bitter lump tightened his throat, and he gripped the edge, trying to compose himself, but his hands betrayed him, trembling uncontrollably. Never in his life had he imagined thered come a day when hed feel out of place in his own flat

Dad, please! Theres no need to take it personally or lose your temper, Laura my eldest daughter burst onto the balcony. Im not asking much, am I? Just leave us your room, thats all! If you wont do it for me, at least think about your grandchildren. Theyll be off to primary school soon and were still all squished together in one room

Laura, I am not going to a care home, I replied as calmly as I could. If its too cramped here for you and the kids, why not move in with Michaels mum? Shes alone in a three-bed house. You could all have your own rooms, you and the boys.

You know perfectly well I couldnt tolerate living with her, not even for a day! she snapped, slamming the balcony door.

I stroked old Max, our faithful dog whod been with me and my late wife for so many years, and, thinking of my darling Anne, tears sprang to my eyes. I always did well up whenever I thought about her. Five years now since shed passed, leaving me truly alone. With her gone, I felt more orphaned than ever before. Wed faced everything together, side by side. How could I ever have predicted that, with a daughter and grandchildren, loneliness would be my lot?

We raised Laura with love and kindness, tried our best to instil decent values. Somehow, we missed something Shed turned out selfish and hard-hearted, wrapped up entirely in herself.

Max whined softly and curled up by my feet. He sensed my misery and was suffering with me.

Granddad, dont you love us at all? My eight-year-old grandson, George, came in.

What nonsense! Where did you get that idea? I asked, startled.

Why wont you leave, then? Dont you want us to have our own room? Are you really that selfish? He glared at me with distaste and angerwords I realised were not his own but Lauras.

I meant to explain, but what was the point? Shed obviously primed him already.

All right. Ill go, I said hollowly, defeated. The room is yours.

I couldnt bear to stay in this tense, poisonous atmosphere any longer. I knew I was resented by everyonestarting with my son-in-law, who hadnt spoken to me in ages, right down to my grandson, convinced now that Id stolen his room.

Daddy, you mean it? Laura appeared, all smiles.

Yes, I replied quietly. Just promise me youll be kind to Max. I feel like a traitor

Oh, stop it. Well take good care of him, lots of walks, I promise! At weekends, well visit youwith Max. She seemed oddly cheerful. Ive found the best retirement home for you, youll see, youll love it.

Two days later, I was taken to the home. Turns out Laura had arranged everything beforehand, just waiting for me to finally give in. The room I was shown reeked of damp and neglect, not at all the comfortable place shed promised. Not a private retirement home at all, just a regular care home, its residents worn and wretched.

After unpacking my few belongings, I wandered downstairs. Sitting on a hard bench, I nearly broke down. Watching these other frail old souls, I saw my own unhappy future reflected back at me.

New here? asked a kindly elderly woman, settling beside me.

Yes, I sighed.

Oh, dont fret so much. I cried at first, too, but you get used to it. My names Valerie.

John, I said. Did your children put you here as well?

No, nephew. Didnt have kids. I signed the house over to him thinking it to be fair, but clearly I was too hasty. He took the house and packed me off here At least its not the street, I suppose.

We ended up talking until late, swapping stories, remembering the good old days and absent dear ones. The next morning, after breakfast, we went for another walk.

Valerie brought a little brightness to my grim days. I simply couldnt stay indoors; most of my time I spent outside, while the food in the cafeteria was just dismal. I ate only enough to keep me going.

I waited for Laura. Still, I hoped she might rethink things, miss me perhaps, come collect me. But the days passed, and she never came. Once, I tried ringing home to check on Max, but no one answered.

One afternoon, by the door, I spotted my old neighbour, Stephen Miller. When he saw me, his face lit up in surprise and he hurried over.

So this is where youve ended up! he exclaimed. But your daughter told us youd moved to the countryside! I knew something was off You would never abandon Max.

What do you mean? I stared at him. What happened to my dog?

Dont panic, we got him to the shelter. I still dont know exactly what happened. Saw Max sitting at the door day after day, but no sign of you. When I ran into Laura, I asked if something had happened. She said youd moved to the country, that she was selling the flat and moving in with her husband. She claimed Max was old and you didnt want the bother of looking after him any more. John, what on earth is going on? He trailed off, alarmed at my pale face.

I told Stephen everything. How Id give anything to rewind time and undo my reckless decision. Not only had Laura driven me out, shed cast poor Max aside too.

I just want to go home, son, I whispered.

Thats why I stopped by, he replied. Im a solicitor, you know I often help elderly clients. Im working on a case now, neighbours tried to seize a chaps house. Dont worry, have you signed yourself off the flat yet?

No, unless Lauras done it herselfI wouldnt put it past her at this point

Right, pack up, Ill wait for you outside. We cant let her get away with this!

I dashed upstairs, bundled my things, and met him at the entrance. There Valerie was, waiting.

Valerie, I have to go. My neighbour just told me Lauras put my dog in a shelter and is selling the flat. Thats the situation.

Oh dear And what about me? she stammered.

Dont worry, once Ive sorted all this out, Ill come for you, I promised.

Will you really? Who would ever want me she said, sadness in her eyes.

Sorry, I must go. Dont be sad, Ill keep my word.

I couldnt get back into my flat; it was locked and I had no key. Stephen took me in. Soon enough, we discovered Laura no longer lived thereshed moved into her mother-in-laws and let my flat out to tenants.

With Stephens legal help, I managed to reclaim my right to my home.

Thank you, I said to him. I just dont know how to go on. Laura wont stop until shes rid of me.

Theres only one solution, Stephen said. We sell the flat, give Laura her share, and use the rest to buy you a housemaybe a little cottage in the country.

Thats brilliant! I was genuinely thrilled. Ideal, really.

Three months later, I was settling into my new cottage. Stephen had assisted with everything, and now was kindly driving me there with Max.

Lets just swing by somewhere first, I said.

From afar, I spotted Valerie sitting on our old bench, looking pensively into the distance.

Valerie! I called. Max and I have come for you. Theres room for us all in the cottagefresh air, fishing, berries, mushrooms, all nearby. Will you come? I smiled.

How am I supposed to just go? she faltered.

Just stand up and come with us, I laughed. Lets not waste another moment here.

All right! Wait ten minutes while I get my bits together, Valerie said, her tears shining with relief.

Ill wait as long as you need! I replied with a smile.

Against the schemes and ill intent of others, Valentine and I found our second chance at happiness. Both of us learned there are kind souls in the world, far more than the selfish ones. Our own experience taught us that, and, in the end, we finally found peace and joy together.

Couldn’t Bring Myself to Love Him — Girls, be honest—who here is Lily? — The woman eyed me and my friend with a cheeky grin. —I’m Lily. Why? — I replied, perplexed. —Here’s a letter for you, Lily. It’s from William, — the stranger produced a crumpled envelope from her dressing gown pocket and handed it to me. —From William? Where is he? — I asked, surprised. —He’s been moved to the adult care home. He waited for you, Lily, like a miracle from heaven. Wore his eyes out. He asked me to check his spelling before he gave me the letter to read. Didn’t want to embarrass himself before you. Well, lunch is soon. I work here, I’m one of the carers, — she gave me a reproachful glance, sighed, and hurried off. …One summer, my friend Sally and I strolled onto the grounds of an unknown institution. We were sixteen, enjoying the freedom of the holidays, craving adventure. Sally and I sat on a welcoming bench, chatting and laughing. We didn’t notice two lads approaching. —Hello, girls! Bit bored, are you? Shall we get acquainted? — One boy reached out, — William. I answered, —I’m Lily, and this is my mate Sally. And your quiet friend? —Leonard, — the second lad said softly. The boys struck us as old-fashioned and far too proper. William frowned and remarked, —Girls, why do you wear such short skirts? And Sally’s neckline is rather revealing. —Hmm… Boys, don’t look where you shouldn’t. Or you’ll go cross-eyed, — Sally and I teased, laughing. —Hard not to look. We are men, after all. What, do you smoke too? — William asked, persistent in his prim manner. —Of course we smoke. But only for show, — we joked. It was then Sally and I noticed something odd about the lads’ legs. William could barely walk, Leonard had a noticeable limp. —Are you being treated here? — I guessed. —Yes. I had a motorbike accident. Leonard misjudged a dive off the rocks, — William replied, reciting a well-worn story. — We’ll be discharged soon. Sally and I believed the boys without question. We had no clue William and Leonard were disabled from childhood, consigned to long-term care. To them, we were a taste of freedom. They lived and learned at a locked-away care home, each child inventing a story about some accident or fall or fight… William and Leonard turned out to be clever, witty, and mature beyond their years. Sally and I began visiting regularly—first, because we felt sorry for them and wanted to cheer them up; second, because we could learn so much from them. It became our weekly habit. William gifted me flowers picked from the nearest garden, Leonard always brought handmade origami, shyly pressing them into Sally’s hands. We’d all four squeeze onto the same bench: William at my side, Leonard turning his back, focussing entirely on Sally. My friend blushed, but she liked the attention from such a gentle soul. We chatted about everything and nothing. The summer slipped away in a haze of laughter and sunshine. Autumn arrived rainy and cold. School resumed. And, with Molly and I facing our final year, we simply forgot about William and Leonard. …Exams came and went, then the prom. Summer once more—full of hopes and new beginnings. Sally and I returned to the care home, thinking to visit our old friends. We settled on our usual bench, waiting for William and Leonard. William with his bunch of flowers, Leonard with his latest origami. We waited two hours, in vain. Suddenly a woman darted from the home and handed me William’s letter. I tore open the envelope: “Beloved Lily! You are my fragrant flower! My unattainable star! You might not have realised that I fell for you at first sight. Our meetings were my breath, my life. For six months, I stared out the window, hoping to see you. You forgot me. How it hurts! Our paths are different now. Still, I’m grateful to you for teaching me real love. I remember your velvet voice, your alluring smile, your gentle touch. Life without you, Lily, is unbearable! I’d give anything to see you one more time! I want to breathe, but I cannot… Leonard and I both turned eighteen. We’re being transferred this spring. We’re unlikely to meet again. My heart is in shreds! I hope I recover from loving you. Farewell, my dearest!” Signed, “Forever yours, William.” Inside the envelope I found a pressed flower. Guilt overwhelmed me. My heart ached that nothing could be changed. I remembered the saying: “We are responsible for those we have tamed.” I never imagined the depth of William’s feelings; I could never return them. I felt only friendly curiosity toward such an intelligent young man. Yes, I’d flirted a bit and teased him—but I had no idea my light-heartedness would fuel a fire that became a raging passion for William. …Many, many years have passed since then. William’s letter yellowed; the fly became dust. But I remember those innocent meetings, our carefree chats, and William’s infectious laughter. …And the story had a sequel: my friend Sally was moved by Leonard’s difficult fate. His parents rejected him for his “difference.” His leg was much shorter than the other. Sally finished teacher training and now works with disabled children. Leonard became her beloved husband. They have two grown sons. William, Leonard says, spent many years alone. When he was forty, his mother visited, saw her forsaken son, broke down in tears, rediscovered her love, and took him home to the countryside. What happened after has faded into mystery…

Couldn’t Let Myself Fall in Love — So, girls, own up, which one of you is Lily? — The young woman eyed me and my friend, an impish glint in her gaze. — I’m Lily. Why? — I replied, puzzled. — Here’s a letter for you, Lily. From Vladimir, — the stranger dug a crumpled envelope from the pocket of her dressing gown and handed it to me. — From Vladimir? And where is he? — I asked, surprised. — He’s moved on to the adult care home. He waited for you, Lily, like you were heaven sent. He kept watch every day. He gave me this letter to check his spelling, so as not to embarrass himself in front of you. Anyway, I should be going. Lunch is soon. I work here as one of the staff, — she gave me a reproachful look, sighed, and hurried off. …It happened that my friend and I, during the summer holidays, wandered onto the grounds of an unfamiliar institution, craving adventure at sixteen. We found a comfy bench, sat down, and were chatting away when two boys approached us. — Hi, girls! Are you bored? Want to get to know us? — one lad extended his hand, — Vladimir. I answered: — Lily. And that’s my friend, Sue. And your quiet pal, what’s his name? — Leonard, — the other, shyly, replied. The boys struck us as rather old-fashioned and overly proper. Vladimir offered, — Girls, why do you wear such short skirts? And Sue’s neckline is awfully daring. — Well, boys, don’t peek where you shouldn’t. You might lose your heads, — Sue and I burst out laughing. — Hard not to peek. We are men, after all. Do you smoke too? — Vladimir pressed, puritanically. — Of course, but we don’t inhale, — we joked. That’s when we finally noticed something odd about their legs — Vladimir could barely walk, Leonard had a pronounced limp. — You here for treatment? — I guessed. — Yes. I was in a motorbike accident. Leonard took a bad jump into water, — Vladimir recited, as if by rote. — We’ll be leaving soon. Sue and I believed them then; we didn’t realise they were disabled since childhood, fated to live in the care home. We were a breath of freedom for them. They lived and studied in a closed institution, each with a rehearsed tale of accident or misfortune to explain their condition. Vladimir and Leonard turned out to be fascinating, wise beyond their years. Sue and I began visiting every week — partly out of pity, partly because there was so much to learn. Our brief visits soon became routine — Vladimir would bring me flowers picked from the nearest border, Leonard would come with intricate origami for a shy Sue. We’d settle on the bench together: Vladimir next to me, Leonard turning his back, lavishing attention on Sue. Sue blushed, but was obviously charmed by reserved Leonard. We’d chat about everything and nothing. The blissful summer flew by. Autumn arrived, school resumed, and Sue and I completely forgot our chance acquaintances. Exams came and went, as did our graduation. Then, with summer returning, Sue and I decided to visit the care home again, hoping to see Vladimir and Leonard. We waited on the bench, hoping for flowers and origami, but after two hours, it was a stranger who emerged — handing me Vladimir’s letter. I tore it open: “Dearest Lily! My fragrant flower! My unreachable star! Perhaps you didn’t realise I fell for you at first sight. Your visits were the breath of my life. I’ve wasted months staring out my window, waiting for you. You forgot me. How sad! Our paths diverge, but I thank you for showing me true love. I remember your velvet voice, your enticing smile, your gentle hands. My world aches for you, Lily! If only I could see you just once more! Leonard and I have just turned eighteen. We’re being moved to a new care home in spring. We’ll probably never meet again. My soul is torn to shreds! I hope I’ll recover from loving you one day. Farewell, my beautiful!” Signed, “Ever yours, Vladimir”. Alongside the letter lay a dried flower. I felt desperate and ashamed; my heart tight with the knowledge that nothing could be changed. The old saying rang through my mind — “We are responsible for those we tame”. I had never guessed the depth of Vladimir’s passion. Yet, I could not love him back. I harboured only friendly curiosity toward such a clever, knowledgeable companion. Yes, I had teased and flirted, kindling his feelings without realising I was fueling a fire. …Years have swept by. Vladimir’s letter is yellowed, the flower crumbling to dust. Yet I remember those innocent meetings, carefree chats, the laughter sparked by his jokes. …The story goes on. Sue became deeply moved by Leonard’s fate — abandoned by parents for being “different”. She studied teaching, now works in that childhood care home. Leonard is her beloved husband, with two grown sons. As for Vladimir, Leonard says he lived alone. At forty, his mother visited the care home and, struck by remorse, brought him back to her village. Beyond that, the trail is lost…

I Just Want to Go Home, Son Victor sat on the little stool out on his London flat’s balcony, lighting a cigarette as a bitter lump formed in his throat. He tried to steady his hands but couldn’t stop the shaking. Never had he imagined the day would come when there wouldn’t be room for him in his own home… “Dad, don’t be so upset!” called out Laura, his eldest daughter. “I’m not asking for much—just give us your room, please! If you can’t do it for me, then think of your grandchildren. They’re about to start school and we’re still all cramped in one room…” “I’m not moving into a care home,” Victor replied calmly. “If you need more space, move in with Michael’s mother. She’s alone in a three-bedroom place—you’d all have your own rooms.” “But you know I’ll never get along with her!” Laura shouted, slamming the balcony door. Victor stroked his old dog, Barney, remembering his late wife, Nadia, and, as his tears rolled down, he thought about the lonely life she’d left him to face. He and Nadia had raised Laura with kindness, hoping she’d turn out caring—but something had gone awry. Laura grew up selfish and cold. Barney whined softly and lay at his master’s feet, sensing Victor’s heartbreak. “Grandad, do you not love us?” asked his eight-year-old grandson, entering the room. “Of course I do! Who said otherwise?” Victor replied, surprised. “Then why don’t you want to leave? Aren’t you being greedy, keeping your room from me and Kostya?” the boy snapped, echoing Laura’s words. Victor realised Laura had turned the child against him. “Alright, I’ll go,” he answered quietly. “You can have the room.” Everyone in the house seemed to resent him, even Barney was no longer welcome. “Are you serious?” Laura ran in, delighted. “Yes,” Victor whispered. “Just promise you’ll look after Barney. I feel like a traitor…” “Oh, stop it—he’ll be fine. We’ll take him for walks and visit you at weekends,” Laura promised. “I found the perfect care home for you—you’ll like it there.” Two days later, Victor arrived at the care home, only to find Laura had lied about its comforts. It was a dreary council facility filled with neglected old folk. He unpacked his few belongings and sat outside, nearly in tears. “New arrival?” an elderly woman named Valerie asked, joining him. “Yes,” Victor sighed. “Don’t worry—once you settle in, things seem less awful. My nephew put me here after I signed my flat over to him. Well, at least I’m not homeless…” They spent the evening reminiscing. Valerie offered Victor companionship, bringing a little joy to his otherwise dreary days. But Victor longed for home—and hoped Laura would come for him, or at least let him speak to Barney. Calls went unanswered. One day, Victor spotted his neighbour Stephen by the entrance—he was shocked to find Victor there. “Your daughter’s lied to everyone, saying you moved to the countryside. I always thought something was off—especially since Barney’s been outside your old building for days,” Stephen said. “She put Barney in a shelter and now she’s moving, renting out your flat. What happened?” Victor explained everything, wishing he could undo his rash decision. “I just want to go home, son,” Victor whispered. “I’m a solicitor—I help people in your situation. Have you been officially signed out of your flat?” Stephen asked. “No, unless Laura did it herself. I don’t know what to expect anymore.” “Pack your things—I’ve got my car out front. We can’t let this stand!” Victor hurriedly packed, promising Valerie he’d return for her someday. On arriving at his old flat, he found it locked and Laura gone. Stephen took him home, and with his legal help, Victor reclaimed his rights to the property. “She won’t give up, but there’s one solution: sell the flat, give Laura her share, and buy yourself a small cottage in the country.” “Perfect!” Victor beamed. Three months later, he moved into a cosy country home, with Barney by his side. “Wait, first I must visit Valerie,” Victor insisted. He found her sitting on their old care home bench, gazing into the distance. “Valerie, come with Barney and me! There’s space, fresh air, fishing—please say yes.” She hesitated. “Just stand up and come with us. There’s nothing left for us here,” Victor laughed. Valerie agreed, tears of joy filling her eyes. Against the odds and cruelty, Victor and Valerie proved there are still good people in the world. They fought for their right to happiness and finally found peace—reminding us kindness will always outshine selfishness.