– Give us the keys to your cottage, wed like to stay there,
The couple let their friends spend some time at their place, not thinking of the outcome.
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Edwards mother fell ill, so he and his wife, Charlotte, spent New Years at home. It was a quiet, family affair. Their friends, Grace and Oliver, were a bit disappointed that Edward and Charlotte hadnt kept their promise and cancelled the trip to the countryside at the eleventh hour. But who could have foreseen Mrs. Mays sudden illness right at the height of the holiday?
Still, Charlotte felt a pang of guilt about how it all turned out.
So, when Grace called her on the second of January and began lamenting her New Years Eve, spent squeezed into a small flat with Oliver and his mother, Charlottes guilt flared anew.
We had to put up with my mother-in-laws whims. She barged in on the 31st and announced something was wrong with her heating! Now shes intent on staying with us through to the end of the holidays, until the plumber sorts out her pipes. I cant take it anymore! Honestly, Ill divorce Oliver over his mother! griped Grace.
Im sorry. Edwards mum and I get on well, but shes not coping with her illness. I wish I could help you, Charlotte sympathized.
You know, you actually could help, Grace said.
How?
Lend us the keys to your cottage. Oliver and I could escape to the country and leave his mum to her own devices.
Charlotte hesitated. Part of her wanted to help her friend; part of her wondered what Edward would think. Even though they treated the cottage as shared, it was technically in Edwards name.
I Im not sure, Grace. Id have to ask Edward first.
Of course, I understand. But I promise, wed be so careful with your things.
Theres probably a lot of snow on those little country lanes might be impossible to drive down. We didnt arrange the snowplough, Charlotte pointed out.
Its alright, weve got a four-wheel drive. Well manage.
And the boiler we havent checked it for ages. Would be better to go before having guests
Charlotte, were adults. Oliver knows his way around boilers, hes worked with them for years. Were not coming to break things. If anything, well fix them.
Grace sounded so convincing that Charlotte began to wonder what could go wrong.
She promised to call back and went to discuss it with Edward.
Are you sure this is a good idea?
Im not, Ed. But weve been friends with Grace for ages. Besides, we wouldve gone with them if your mum hadnt fallen ill.
If something comes up, we cant just rush down there. Its quite a trek, and I dont want to leave Mum.
I know. Thats why Im asking. Truthfully, Grace is at the end of her rope with Olivers mum. She says the old lady is unbearable, and their marriage is on the rocks.
After some thought, they realized that, if their cottage could help save Grace and Olivers marriage, they ought to try.
Well give them the keys. They can sort everything else themselves. Were staying out of it, said Edward.
Grace immediately sensed her friends trust.
Thank you, love! Ill keep you updated, she said, heading off.
The drive to the cottage took them over three hours. It was nestled in a scenic spot, well away from Londons rush. Unfortunately, Edward and Charlotte were right: heavy snow had blocked the lane, and even the 4×4 struggled. Grace and Oliver got stuck and had to call the owners for advice.
What do we do now? they asked.
Head back. No ones going to clear the snow for you on the third of January. Its still bank holidays, Charlotte replied.
No chance. Weve come all this way Theres a village nearby, you said Edward knows a chap with a tractor? pressed Grace.
Yes, he usually clears the lane.
Can you call him and ask him to come?
Ill send the number, Charlotte agreed.
Half an hour later, Grace rang again.
Hes not answering. Get Edward to ring, he probably wont pick up for strangers!
Fine. Wait.
Charlotte managed to convince Edward to phone the tractor driver. He promised to come within the hour.
All the while, Edward was on edge. Grace kept calling, asking how much longer, making everyone nervous. By the end, Charlotte felt she was somehow in the wrong.
Luckily, the tractor driver kept his word. He arrived and cleared the lane to the cottage. But there was still the gate blocked by snow, and nobody was keen to dig it out. So Oliver carved out a narrow path to the door, and they finally got inside.
The radiators werent warm enough. The boiler needed adjusting, but Oliver had no idea how. He called Edward, who spent two hours explaining the ancient contraption over the phone.
Ive never even seen one like this must be a really old model.
Probably, but as long as it works! Edward snapped, feeling this was only the beginning of their troubles.
He was right. Grace started ringing for every little thing, from asking where the frying pan was kept, to complaining that the cottage was too cold.
As night drew on, Charlotte and Edward simply turned their phones off to get some rest.
By morning, there were dozens of missed calls.
What now? Charlotte fretted. She rang back straightaway; Grace answered after a pause.
Hello? Where have you been?!
We were asleep.
We had a disaster! The sauna was filled with smoke, almost burned the place down!
Oh, good grief
Yes! Who builds steam rooms like that?!
What happened?
You couldve told us theres a cap on the chimney Grace began berating her friend. Luckily, Olivers clever, he figured it out just in time.
Sorry, I didnt expect youd use the sauna on your first night And anyway
What? Were guests, arent we? Why wouldnt we use everything? Is the sauna not included? You shouldve said. We could barely get to it, what with all the snow!
Enjoy yourselves, Charlotte said, flustered.
We also couldnt find the barbecue.
We dont have one anymore, the old one broke.
Well, you mightve warned us! How are we meant to grill our sausages now? Grace was nearly shouting.
I honestly dont know, Grace. My heads spinning after everything lately. Youll have to sort that yourself. Just dont burn the cottage down.
She hung up. If she was honest, Graces behaviour was starting to get on her nerves.
Well? Another disaster? asked Edward.
Yeah.
Charlotte told her husband the whole story.
Oliver came to that sauna with me last summer, he knew exactly where the cap was. So theyve only themselves to blame. As for the barbecue, its not our problem. If they fancied making stew, would we be expected to provide a special pot as well? If they want to have a barbecue, the village shop sells cheap disposable grills. Thatll do them for the weekend.
Thats exactly what Charlotte told Grace when she called again.
Alright, I get it. Well pop into the village anyway at least the lanes clear because of us.
Strangely enough, after that, Grace stopped pestering Charlotte. It seemed shed realised her friend had had enough and wasnt interested in playing caretaker anymore.
They havent called in ages, maybe we should check on them, Edward said the next day.
Grace didnt answer the phone, but she sent a message everything was fine.
The couple decided just to trust their friends with the cottage, and forget about them for a few days.
By the end of the holidays, Mrs. May was feeling much better.
Perhaps you should drive out and fetch the cottage keys? While youre there, you can check the place out and make sure Grace and Oliver didnt burn it down, Charlotte suggested.
Good idea, Edward agreed. Ill set off in the morning and be back by tea time. Need to look at the house. And the sauna.
Edward went, Charlotte stayed behind with his mother.
Charlotte let her friends know that her husband would be arriving soon, expecting everything to be calm. So she was dismayed when Edward returned home in a foul mood, refusing to talk about the visit.
The truth came out when Grace called Charlotte the next day and asked her to drop round they lived just down the road.
Has your mother-in-law left you in peace? Charlotte inquired.
Thank goodness, yes. The heatings sorted, she moved out yesterday before we got back.
Good. Ill pop over in an hour, promised Charlotte. She didnt mention it to Edward. It was clear he was sick of the whole business. She wanted to know why.
Grace got straight to the point.
Here you are, Ive written it all down, she said, handing Charlotte a sheet of paper.
Whats this?
Everything we spent at your cottage tractor hire, electric shovel, barbecue set, coal, lighter fluid, grill rack, three new light bulbs, and essential oils for the sauna.
We bought all this while staying at yours. Weve left it all for you to use.
Thank you, Charlotte said, puzzled.
Well, Oliver and I agreed that since youll be benefiting from these things, it only makes sense to split the cost.
Youre joking, right? Charlotte replied, not sure whether to laugh.
No. If youd had a barbecue, we wouldnt have had to buy all that. If your shovel was up to the job, we wouldnt have needed an electric one. And if your tractor man had done the lane ahead of time, we wouldnt have sat there revving for hours, wasting petrol! And dont get me started on having to buy shampoo for your sauna!
Grace, I think youre overreacting. For one, were not a hotel, catering shampoo and shower caps, for another, you bought the electric shovel and barbecue because you fancied them. We dont want them take them home, same for the oils, coal and grill. Im not paying for clearing the lane either, thats your own risk, driving out into the countryside in January.
But youll be using the lane
Itll snow again long before were back, and the council normally clears it for us. Only the holidays made it tricky, so you had to pay. Thats your expense. Ill reimburse you for the bulbs, though, thank you for sorting those they’re actually useful, Charlotte said, sending Grace three pounds eighty via bank transfer. Then she stood up and left. She ignored calls and texts afterwards, and to settle any lingering debts, she and Edward visited the cottage and packed up all their friends things to send them back by courier.
Mrs. May was nearly recovered by then, and the couple could look forward to weekends away at the cottage once again. The privilege was lost for Grace and Oliver. After that unpleasant episode, the friendship fizzled out, and the generous couple never again let friends use their property, leaving their friends puzzled and perturbed by their sudden change in attitude.
We tried to be thoughtful, did our best and them? Ungrateful! Grace grumbled to Oliver, dialling Charlotte once more. She didnt really need the electric shovel, but the only way to return it was with the receipt. And the receipt was still at the cottage, with her former friends.
