What? Elspeth almost let her tea cup tumble. An affair isnt a reason to split? You are you out of your mind?
More than that, Megan answered evenly, as if she were talking about the weather, not her own marriage.
He cheated on you!
Oh, give it a rest, she smiled wearily and stirred her coffee with a spoon. We betrayed each other long before that.
Elspeth furrowed her brow, leaned closer.
Youre saying this now to look strong?
No, Megan lifted her gaze. There was no anger, no tears, only fatigue. Im just tired of pretending we ever had a proper family.
A brief pause hung in the air.
Wait, Elspeth whispered, softer. So you think an affair is just nonsense?
Not at all, Megan waved a hand, but its not the crux. The important part is what was before, and what came after.
She pushed the cup aside, as if clearing an invisible barrier.
Want me to tell you? Just dont interrupt.
Go on, Elspeth slid her chair nearer, Im listening
Megan exhaled.
You see, she began, we were an ordinary couple. Met, married, had children, a mortgage of twohundred thousand pounds, endless renovations the perpetual sprint of daily hustle.
And one day it hit me: we still lived under the same roof, but we werent living together any longer. She let out a short, hollow chuckle.
Andrew was never satisfied. You know the type They do nothing outright terrible, yet everything feels cold around them. Even when theyre silent you feel guilty, as if youre unworthy
Elspeth nodded; it was all too familiar.
He started staying late at work, sometimes until dawn, Megans eyes drifted to the window. I asked nothing. I was an adult, after all. I knew if a man wanted to hide something, hed hide it; if he wanted to leave, hed leave. And if he didnt leave, he was probably fine with the situation.
It was him, not me, who was content. I was alone, feeling redundant, a tired ghost.
Megans skin prickled, as if a memory had jabbed her from inside.
Then she paused a heartbeat. Then that trip happened. You remember?
I do. You said you were suffocating in your own flat, drowned by its hateful quiet, endless reproaches you needed a shakeup.
Exactly! So I went away
The sea, the roar, the sunlike stepping onto another planet.
And suddenly I found myself smiling again, for no reason at all, simply because there was a person beside me who listened, who didnt press, who didnt blame. He was ordinary, unremarkable, nothing romantic, just warm. That was enough.
Elspeths brow tightened.
But didnt you know that well
Of course I knew, Megan said without a flush, but in that moment, for the first time in years, I felt alive, wanted. Got it? And the worst part isnt the cheating. Its that nobody at home even noticed Id returned completely changed.
She tapped a rhythm on the table with her fingers.
Then Andrew stumbled on our messages. By accident or what he called accident? she forced a crooked grin. He always knew how to find what he wanted.
And?
Screams. Accusations. Suitcases. Leaving. Returning. More screams. More accusations. And the most disgusting line Ill never forget.
Megan mimicked a flat, masculine voice: Im a man. Its my right. And you I cant look at you Ill never forgive you.
Elspree breathed out quietly.
Thats nasty.
Well, Megan shrugged, Im no saint either. In short, we wore each other down until there was no energy left to live together. So an affair isnt the cause, Elspie. Its a symptom, the last drop.
And then? Elspie asked after a pause.
After a while, when we realised we couldnt even share a roof formally, he said hed file for divorce.
Were you scared?
Not at all. I felt nothing. I looked at him and understood: it was just the end of a chapter, logical, tidy.
The kids, by the way, took it all with surprising composure. No tantrums, no drama.
And you let him go? Just like that?
Naturally, Megan smiled calmly. Whats the point of holding onto someone whos already gone? He didnt leave the house, Elspie. He left us.
Elspie fell silent.
Megan continued, eyes locked on hers.
The strangest thing? After he left, the house felt light. Quiet. Easy. As if someone had lifted a massive backpack Id been lugging for ten years without ever setting it down. she smiled. Thats why I say an affair isnt grounds for divorce.
Then what is? Elspie asked.
Megan met her gaze straight on.
When you live with someone and feel utterly alone for years, when you dont exist in their world, when home with them feels worse than being on your own. Thats the real reason.
She reclined in her chair.
An affair is just a punctuation mark another person places where youre not.
Elspie lunged forward.
Megan! Are you serious?! she slapped the table, I completely disagree! I know dozens of people whove been through this. Some split after an affair, others forgave but none ever justified the betrayal. Its cruel, painful, humiliating. How can you speak like that?
Megan answered the outburst with calm.
Elspie, Im not defending anyone. I just stopped lying to myself. I assert: an affair isnt a stab in the back. Its the final step people climb together, day by day, hour by hour. Together. Understand?
Elspie froze, and Megan added softly,
And you know its often the one who first loses hope who cheats. The one who kept pulling, kept caring, until they finally broke.
So the traitor isnt always the one who steps aside. Sometimes its the one whos been beside you all along, but has long abandoned you. Tell that to your friends. Maybe then theyll finally see what really happened to them.
