Tell James to get here right now! my sister shouted, panic in her voice. All three of the kids are running fevers, theyre whinging, and Im the only one who cant get them to the clinic. If he drives over and helps, please.
Emily, my eldest daughter, tried to hold back tears, but she couldnt watch any longer. Inside, my heart was tightening with worry for my grandchildren.
Give me a minute, love. Dont stress, I tried to keep my tone calm, hoping not to add to her nerves. I hit the redial button and froze, fingers trembling as they searched for my sons number in the contacts. Three sick little ones, Emily on her own, husband at workthis was a crisis.
James would sort it out, I was sure of that. The phone rang once, twice, and finally he answered.
Hey Mum, he said quickly.
James, love, weve got a problem I swallowed, choosing my words. Emily just called. All three of her kids have come down with something, and she cant get off work. She needs someone to take the little ones to the doctor, even if its just a quick trip.
Silence hung heavy on the line. I could hear his breathing and a faint background noise.
Mate, todays a nightmare, James sighed. Its Emmas birthday and weve booked a restaurant two weeks ago. Getting across town to Emily now would ruin the reservation, and were already cutting it close. Im sorry, but I cant make it.
I clenched the phone tighter, my palm slick with sweat. Was he really turning his back on his own family?
James, can you hear me? The children are sick! Your nieces kids! Emily cant manage three cranky toddlers on her own, and they need a doctor now! I tried not to let my voice crack.
I get it, Mum, I get it, he replied, flat as a board. But we have plans. We cant just cancel everything. Maybe call a taxi? Or you and your husband could go. Whats the problem?
I sank into a chair, my legs giving way. The words didnt sink in.
My husbands at work! I blurted, unable to hold back any longer. I cant possibly drag three ill kids by myself! Dont you understand the basics?
Sorry, Mum, I cant. Its not my problem. The kids are Emilys responsibility. Shell have to sort it herself, he snapped.
I felt my throat close with fury. How is that not your problem? Theyre your family! Your sister! Cant you help a relative once?
I said I cant! Were getting ready to go, sorry, he cut off. Short beeps cut through the silence. I stared at the screen, numb. My hands shook. I dialed again. No answer. Another trysilence.
A hot, angry fire rose inside me. How could my own son be so cold? I grabbed my daughterinlaws number, hoping maybe Grace could sway him.
Hello, Victoria? Grace answered almost immediately.
Grace, dear, I said, forcing calm, why arent you asking James to help? Those are his nieces children! Emilys in a bind, you know shes a mother now.
Grace exhaled, her tone indifferent.
Victoria, the kids issues are for their parents to handle. Theres a taxi, an ambulance. Theyre not babies any more. Emilys an adult, shell manage.
Her words cut deeper than Jamess refusal.
Grace, do you even realise what it would be like to haul three sick toddlers in a taxi? Theyre tiny! Emily cant do it alone!
Its her children, Victoria, Grace replied, still cool. Weve already planned our evening. We dont want to ruin it because of other peoples problems.
Anger surged.
Then maybe you and your future kids can keep your distance! I snapped, slamming the handset down.
The next few days drifted like a fog. I didnt call James again, and he stayed silent. I tried not to dwell on it, but the sting wouldnt fade. At night I lay awake, replaying the argument over and over. How could my son act like that? Had I failed as a mother? What had I done to raise someone so selfish?
My husband tried to talk to me a few times, but I brushed him off. I needed to sort this out on my own, to understand what went wrong.
On the fourth evening, patience snapped. I decided to go to Jamess flat in Manchester and confront him facetoface. I needed to see the look in his eyes and hear how he could betray his own family.
Grace opened the door, surprised but stepping aside. I slipped in without even taking off my coat.
Wheres James? I asked sharply.
In the living room, she said, gesturing toward the door.
I pushed the door open. James looked up, his gaze meeting mine. For a split second something flickered in his eyes, then his face hardened.
Mum, whats wrong? he asked, eyebrows raised.
How could you? My voice cracked, the words spilling out after four days of clenched anger. How could you turn down sick children? Your own sisters kids? I didnt raise you to be this cold, selfish monster!
He stood slowly, his expression almost indifferent.
Mum, you could have called a taxi yourself, he shrugged. I could have gone to Emilys, helped with the kids, but I wont drop everything at the first call.
He paused, looking straight into my eyes.
Did you forget that Emily stopped talking to us after we bought our flat? Shes been spouting gossip ever since, he added.
Since we bought the house, shes been angry about everything, wont pick up the phone, even if we knock on the door. Its been half a year of this, and now she needs help? I was at a loss for words, my throat dry.
Its just she lives in a rented flat with three kids, I tried to explain.
And you and Grace live in a twobedroom owned place, no kids. Of course she feels bad. I didnt know what you meant by talking about people, James said, his tone flat.
Grace stood at the doorway, arms crossed, her face unreadable.
She chats a lot, says nasty things about Emma, and about the flatits not her business, James continued coldly.
We paid for that flat ourselves. No one helped us. Let Emily sort her own problems, not drag my family into it, he said.
I took a step forward, fists clenched.
What are you saying? This is your sister! Our family! I shouted.
No, Mum, James raised his voice. My family is Emma. Emily should have thought ahead!
She chose to have three kids on her own! No one forced her! Im not obliged to drop everything the moment she calls, he shot back.
Youre selfish! I exploded. You only think of yourself! Your sister can barely manage, and you cant even lend a hand once!
Help? Why should I help someone whos ignored me for six months? he smirked. We stopped talking to Emily ages ago. Did you not see that?
He took a breath, his voice softer.
What am I even talking about? he murmured, shaking his head. Youre only ever worried about Emily. Its always been that way. Im just a blank space for you.
Youre heartless! I snapped, turning away. I didnt raise you like this, James! I taught you to look after each other!
I stormed out of the flat, pausing on the stairwell, breathing hard. The hallway felt like it was on fire. How could my own son speak to me like that?
The cold night air bit at my cheeks, but it didnt ease the ache. I walked toward the bus stop, the thought looping in my mind: where did I go wrong? How did I raise someone so selfish?
The bustling street ignored me. Passersby stepped around me. What if James was right? What if Id been demanding too much, never seeing his own struggles?
No, I thought, shaking my head. Im a mother. I know whats right for children. Ive always known. Yet doubt settled deep, like a small, sharp stone growing with each step toward my flat.
I climbed onto the doubledecker bus, pressed my face to the window. Outside, houses, cars, ordinary life went on. Inside, something inside me cracked, something changed forever. I didnt know if I could ever fix it, if I could speak to James like before, or if he would ever forgive my outburst.
The bus rattled over potholes. I closed my eyes, hoping tomorrow would bring clarity, the right words, maybe even a chance for the family to be a family again. Or maybe it was already too late.
