How could she?! Didnt even ask! Didnt consult me! The nerve, just turning up at someone elses flat and acting as if she owned the place! No respect at all! God, what have I done to deserve this? Spent my whole life looking after her, and this is what I get in return! As if she doesnt even see me as a person! Nina wiped the tears from her cheeks. My life doesnt suit her, apparently! She should take a good look at her own! Sitting in her poky little flat, thinking shes caught the golden goose. No decent husband, no proper job; this remote work nonsensehow does she even pay the bills? And yet she has the nerve to try to teach me about life! Ive long since forgotten things shes only just beginning to think about!
That last thought made Nina jump up from her armchair. She went into the kitchen, put the kettle on, and walked over to the window.
As she gazed at the festive sprawl of London shimmering with Christmas lights, she started crying again. Everyone else is busy getting ready for the New Year, and here I amwith no holiday spirit at all Alone as ever
The kettle whistled, but Nina, lost in her memories, didnt notice.
She was twenty when her mum, at forty-five, had another child. Nina had been surprisedwhy would Mum want all that hassle at her age?
I just dont want you to end up all alone, Mum had explained. Its wonderful to have a sister. Youll see. One day, youll understand.
I understand even now, Nina had replied indifferently at the time. But just so you know: Im not getting involved. Ive got my own life.
Well, not anymore, Mum had said with a wry smile.
Those words turned out to be prophetic. Her little sister was only three years old when their mum passed away. Their father had died even earlier.
All responsibility for her little sister, Natalie, had fallen on Ninas shouldersshe had practically become Natalies mother. For years Natalie even called her Mum.
Nina never marriednot that it was because of her sister; she just never met that one person who could capture her heart. And there wasnt really anywhere to meet anyoneNina went nowhere, looked for no entertainment: just home, work, her sister, home again, work again, her sister again…
Forced to grow up overnight after their parents deaths, Nina poured all her energy into raising and educating Natalie.
Now Natalie was grown up and living on her own, planning to get married. She often visited Ninadespite the gap in their ages, ideas and characters, the sisters were very close.
Nina, for instance, was excessively thrifty. Her flat had become a sort of museum packed with old, unnecessary things. If you searched, youd find a dressing gown from ten years ago when she was much slimmer, or electricity bills from as far back as the early 2000s.
Her kitchen cupboards were stuffed with chipped mugs, battered saucepans missing handles, and cracked enamel pots. Nina hadnt used them for ages but couldnt bear to throw them outwhat if they came in handy one day?
She hadnt done any redecorating for yearsnot even a lick of paintand not for lack of funds, but because the wallpaper was still technically fine. Her lifelong habit of saving every penny and sacrificing her own comfort for her sisters sake had left its mark.
Natalie was the complete oppositecheerful, light-hearted, never weighed down by clutter. Her own home was minimalisticno hoarding! Only what she truly needed.
She even had her own rule: If Ive not needed it in a year, out it goes!
Thats why Natalies flat always felt bright, airy, and peaceful.
So many times shed said to Nina, Lets do up your place! We can have a clear-out at the same timesoon therell be no room left for you at this rate.
I wont throw anything away and I dont want to change a thing, Nina would always reply. And I certainly dont need a renovation.
How can you say that? Just look at your hallway! Those textured wallpapers are as old as the hills. Its like walking into a cellar. All that accumulated junk must sap the very life out of youyou dont realise how much. No wonder youre always tired, Natalie would gently argue.
But Nina always waved her off.
So Natalie decided to take matters into her own hands and spruce up Ninas home as a surprise. Maybe then shed see the difference it would make.
She settled on the hallwayit held the least furniture and fewest possessions to move.
A week before Christmas, while Nina was away for a night shift (her rota often demanded it), Natalie and her fiancé James let themselves into the flat (the sisters shared keys), stripped the gloomy old wallpaper and replaced it with fresh sage green paper flecked with golden swirls.
They put everything back in its placeNatalie didnt dare actually throw anything outand left quietly.
Nina, none the wiser, returned home and promptly stepped back outside, convinced shed come to the wrong flat.
She looked up at the door number.
It was correct
She went back in.
And then she realised.
Natalie!
How dare she?
Nina immediately dialled her sister, scolding her furiously before slamming the phone down.
Half an hour later, Natalie turned up in person.
Who asked you to do this? snapped Nina as soon as she opened the door.
Nina, I just wanted to surprise you, Natalie stammered. Look how lovely it isclean, light, roomy
Dont you dare treat my home like its your own! Nina erupted.
Angry words poured out, wounding Natalie anew.
Eventually, Natalie lost patience. Thats it, Im done. Live in your rubbish tip if thats what you want. Im never setting foot in here again!
What, running away because you cant face the truth?
I just feel sorry for you, Natalie said quietly, and left.
A whole week passedNatalie didnt call, and this was the first time the sisters had stayed angry with each other for so long. With New Years Eve fast approaching, would they really see it in apart?
Nina wandered out to her hallway and perched on a stool.
Actually, it is brighter and a lot more spacious, she thought. She pictured Natalie and James hanging wallpaper, working so carefully, imagining her surprise. Why did I get so irritated? It really is better now. Lighterand it lifts my spirits, too. Maybe she was right all along?
Suddenly, the phone rang
Nina, Natalies voice was trembling, and Nina realised she was crying. Im sorry. I never meant to upset you. I just wanted to make you happy
Oh, sweetheart, Im not angrytruly, Nina found herself choking up with emotion too. Theres nothing to forgiveyou were right. The wallpaper is wonderful. After the holidays, well start going through my hoard. If you dont mind, of course.
Of course not! Id love to help! But what about today? Its New Years Eve. I cant think of welcoming it in without you
Nor can I
In that case, get ready, Natalies voice grew bright and lively again. Weve got everything sorted herereal pine tree, fairy lights, candlesthe works. All your favourites. And you dont need to fuss; Ive already cooked almost everything. Dont you dare dash out for last-minute shoppingcant trick me, I know your ways! I always hoped wed make up in time. Get readydont rush. James will come and pick you up.
Nina gazed out at the sparkling city again, but this time her heart felt lighter.
She looked and whispered, Thank you, Mum for my sister.A few hours later, as midnight neared, Nina stepped into Natalies flat and was instantly wrapped in the scents of cinnamon and pine. Laughter, warmth, golden lightsthe living room shimmered with a quiet magic. Natalie ran to greet her, eyes shining above a blotchy, tear-stained smile, and James waved from the kitchen where he was mixing up cocktails.
They sat together, side by side, knees touching, hands linked as they used to do in childhood. They swapped memories and plans, hiccupped with laughter at old family stories, and let the little hurts melt away in the swirl of twinkling fairy lights and soft music.
When the clock struck twelve, they stood by the window and watched a burst of fireworks blossom across the night sky. Nina squeezed Natalies hand.
I used to think I was all alone in the world, she whispered, but I see nowthanks to youI never was.
Natalie leaned into her, cheek against her shoulder. And you never will be.
Outside, London was alight with possibility; inside, for the first time in years, Ninas heart felt wide open to the new year. Surrounded by warmth, the promise of change, and her sisters steadfast love, she let out a laughclear, bright, surprising even to herself.
It sounded, remarkably, like hope.
